Right now my life can be described in one simple sentence
“When Super Man falls in love with Kryptonite”
I don’t know how to explain this without going into flashback of series of events that has brought me to this point, here right now. My life can be easy, very simple, if I just give up hope and faith and accept life with a white flag. Trust me if I just give up and give into what’s coming, life can change and untangle itself from all the sentiments.
But no, despite knowing that probably there is no opening at the end of the tunnel, that Dawn is just a word in books and there was no genie in the bottle, I live every day with a dream and hope of it coming true. Acceptance is the key to solving half of life’s problems, but my problem is I can’t just go down. Sure, one day I will lose the war but trust me even if I do, life will not find me with a White Flag.
How can I not dream of freedom? How can I not have hope and live with faith? How can I not imagine a day where I wake up to a world I want? Wouldn’t that means I never wanted any of those things? Lately I found myself doing things that make me happy, forget reality and just imagine life when the war is over. There is no soldier who doesn’t dream of walking back to his loved ones and live a peaceful life, when waiting for backup in a war that might end up with him losing.
Yes by walking into this world of imagination, dream and hope I do hurt myself, because I know I’m only pulling myself away from what’s real. But if I have to surrender eventually why not live the moments I have, believing in things I wanted to do or would do if I ever got the chance.
Out of many kryptonites that I have been collecting in my pockets Blogging is one. What started as just an excitement to do what everyone is doing turned into a platform to take out things going on between the voices in my head and myself. But now Blogging has become more than a platform to express, it has helped me find people, people whose blogs and lives take me to a world I always wanted. When I go to these blogs, read their stories and learn about them, I can’t help but feel a strange kind of happiness. A part of me tells me that what I want is not hard, that I never asked for Moon or Stars just a life like theirs. If I can’t have it doesn’t mean I can’t read about it and feel connected and happy for others.
But reading such blogs also means that I’m just filling in hope that someday it will happen. It’s like i have fallen into Wonderland and I’m on the verge of getting lost into a world that’s not mine.
Problem with hope is that its pulls you farther away from reality making the road back to the truth invisible and impossible. Hope can be a Kryptonite, it can take away your power and make you weak, but then you just can’t do without it.
Quote from Twilight –
” And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…What a stupid lamb. What a sick, masochistic lion. ”