It is raining season finales of many Tv shows and i think its not that bad, because it gives me time to do others things. While i will miss Barney Wait-for-It Stinston, McDreamy & his McTwisted wife, Sue’s unending hair gel jokes on Schuster, Nolan’s witty jokes with Emily as they plan for derailing Grayson lifestyle and more, i think this gap of few months would help me focus on my story and of course my forgotten love ‘reading’.
As i watched Barney saying “Am Awesome” for the last time in season’s finale, i knew i wasn’t really going to miss much. Because HIMYM and i no longer share the same love for each other, but out of respect i watch it just for the sake of being a part of its journey. Truth is HIMYM reminds me of a good time, so i don’t want to desert it now. But yes i will miss Grey’s Anatomy and Glee a little, because they both hold a special place in my heart. Revenge would be missed like hell because like Pretty Little Liars, it makes me forget i have to breathe while watching.
I know PLL is coming back, but i would like to take this vacation as an opportunity to get back to the bundle of untouched pages in my book shelf as well as the rough drafts of Dominique, waiting to be written a little more. I’m going to read Hunger games and many more books i have noted down.
Sometimes i wonder what I would have done without fiction, books or shows. I mean i hate my work place, i hate the job and people…i literally dislike being there, getting up in morning and spending next 9 hours wondering and questioning myself. After a long 9 hour shift and 9 hours of self battling, fictional shows and reading is my escape. I read, i watch and i write, thus entering into a world of people i don’t know but wouldn’t mind knowing.
Sometimes i wish i could just walk up to my boss tell him am done working here; walk back home and not go to that place ever. It feels like a relationship gone wrong, you are still in there because you don’t know where else to go. It has become my safe zone, my blanket and my comfort world, i know i’am not happy there but i know i will not survive without it, i will not find anything like it and i will probably find anything. My job is good when compared to so many people, yet it hurts. I’m awesome, demented, twisted and dark for sure, but I’m still awesome and i would want to be like that only, my work has become an Awesomeness Eating Bacteria…you either live with it and die one day or you get it out of your system.
This morning i woke up with a question “Is it too late for me to quit?” Because truth be told I’m awesome in my mind, but people in real life want more if you are looking for a good job or any job.
Sometimes there is a strong urge to throw all the responsibilities away, take a vacation, go on an excursion, visit places so close yet so far, find people like me and kick the Arse of darkness.
Voices: Yeah right, but first fix your body
Me: Gosh! I think i know what i need right now i need a good lifestyle, healthy one. Good diet, right number of sleeping hours and exercise.
Voices: You think?
Voices: You stop…you crazy self d
Me: Stop it okay i know that
Voices: very well then make a T-shirt of it
Me: Angry Look
Voices: Silence and Rolling eyes
Truth is, everyday is like a ticking clock and i just cant do anything about it.
To Future from me – I’m Awesome but you aren’t…!!!!