An afternoon spent playing Spiderman2 on my laptop is an afternoon worth going into my diary, but there is one problem I don’t write in my diary anymore. I have this thing if a day or moment goes nice and well, I call it a diary day or diary moment. I like to categorize things as “Diary Moment”; it was once my favorite thing to do.
Having ice-cream standing outside in a super cold winter night, diary moment. Spending all day with friends watching movie, trying new eating places or simply shopping, Diary moment.
There is a thought in my head, I don’t have any record of past two and half months of my life and it sort of makes me sad. I have a huge collection of diaries and notebooks stacked in my cupboard; every time I open it they smile at me… a sad smile.
I don’t know why I feel bad about not penning down words in a bundle of pages that won’t be read by anyone but me. yep! I like to read my diaries. Sometimes I just pick up one randomly and read… it takes me back to happy times, sad times and even worst times of my life. Sometimes when I read my old diaries and go through a page that totally talks about how I’m never going to get out of this phase and it’s never going to be okay, it brings a smile to my face…because things did get better.
Anyhow, that’s not the reason why I miss my diaries. Truth is sometimes I wish to be honest and a diary is the only place I can be, I mean at least I can write crappy stuff and not worry about being judged. Also, what happened to my religious diary moments?
I know it all sounds so childish.
To be honest, I wonder if I’m losing touch with my truth. I don’t wish to smile all the time, wear a fake attitude, tell people am cool and listen to happy songs because I know no one cares about a sad little girl with issues.
Forgive me for i have forgotten you
I am still the same
Just pasted a smile and changed my name…!!!!