From monday onwards we are going to have our annual office chess championship tournament. Winner of last two years is yours truly i.e Me. Now here is the thing, I haven’t played chess for almost 12months now and I have zero confidence in me, which is not good because this tournament means a lot to me. Its like its the one and only thing in the world I’m good at,I can’t screw up and can pull off nicely. I am very competitive when it comes to chess, only twice I have lost in chess purposely.
Today everyone was like “you are th champ”…yes I was but I now fear even the most novice players. Why? No practice and zero motivation. Doesn’t feel nice to know that one thing I had control of is now shaky too.
But its okay I’m not going to quit. I will play, if I lose well I guess I will blame it all on the Domino effect that has started.
If I lose this week well I’m going to be very sad, which isn’t a new thing but I will be sad.
Today I realized one very important thing. It is kind of painful but then reality always bites. Anyways, let’s just focus on next week’s game. Fingers crossed.
There is a fine line between pep talk and lying to self…!!!!!