Little goes green…!!!!

Today I went green, like Hulk green, all angry but now that I think about it I wasn’t angry on something that happened during the day. I was angry on just everything that is beyond my control. I often imagine myself living in a world I don’t know, a city I never went, a house i never saw and a life I can never have. Why? Pain killer, works for a while making me feel better and forget reality.

Anyhow, now that I’m all cooled down I think it wasn’t about anything at all. I have been beating myself up lately for so many things, just blaming and blaming. Truth is I think I’m a nice person, a good person; I haven’t done anything I should have never done. Yet, I’m the bad guy or I will be.

Imagine if life was as easy as they show things on screen, on TV and movies.

Yesterday when I uploaded a small chapter from Dominique I realized how much I craved for approvals and reviews. I don’t know why I want people to like Dominique, despite the fact that it’s not a story many people are going to like. But yes I do wish to spend some more time on it during weekend. I was once a person who could write and write or read and read. I miss that ME. I remember how I was girl who liked to blurt out things to make people laugh. Every time some used to tell me that I have a good sense of humor or I’m a funny girl, I used to dance inside my head. Often, I go back to those chapters of memories where it was just so easy to say something silly and make people laugh.

Now, I’m just someone who fights with anger and agony all the time. What happened to the awesome Me. Why have I become someone who wakes up every morning puts up a loud song in the morning, while brushing, to set up a mood and a smile to wear for the rest of the day? Why have i become someone who is angry all the time?

I miss the awesome me, I miss the funny me, I miss the less pretentious me and of course I miss the old friends of me. Do you know sometime i wish I wasn’t the nice goody girl, I mean I wish I had been a crazy party girl, someone with boyfriend stories and all that.

Okay here is a secret, the only crazy thing I ever did was – I once dated an ex of one of my very good friend. It wasn’t exactly dating, but we were like SMS dating and all this because I wanted to prove something to myself. Well I think it was crazy for someone like me, because I have never even lied to my mother about bunking classes. She always knew when I was and when I wasn’t at my college.

Today I crave for Glee, lots and lots of Glee, but I think I would have to do with Pretty Little Liars for now. Which by the way is going to drive me crazy with all “Who is A?” thing. I mean every episode is like “he is A” “No she is A” “Wait a minute they are A”…well I did guess things so far but now after season2, I’m all confused. I wonder how I would react after the last episode of last season, because it’s impossible to imagine a world without PLL episodes.

Often I find myself watching this one particular scene from Glee; I re-watch it again and again, despite the fact that it hurts me more than it makes me smile. I just don’t know why I do that…or may be I know.

Dear American Television Guys,

Seriously, stop giving such long breaks between show seasons.


20 thoughts on “Little goes green…!!!!

  1. Lol.. I am still wondering, how could you do that what you did during the lunch time to steal the dice off my hands… 😛 😛 hehehe…

    maybe that proves you still have it in you 😉 the awesome witty thing i mean.. 😉


  2. Ewwww yucky @ that 😛 😀

    lol..m laughing at that big time still..and my parents are wondering whats wrong with me.. Lol

    I feel like trying that once on someone if circumstances arise in favor of me.. Hehehehehe

  3. I totally know what you mean! But sometimes it’s great to be mad, and just throw that good-girl attitude to hell – to hold back on anger is not a good thing, but of course, it’s not good to be mad all the time either, it’s all in the balance.
    Sometimes I wish that I’d been that party girl too with lots of adventures, love affairs and drama! However, I don’t think that it’s all, what it’s cracked up to be. I did have a few “crazy” experiences later, and it wasn’t that great and just made me feel bad.

    Oh, I miss Glee too! And I watch the same episodes and scenes again and again too, even if they make me very emotional sometimes.

    On an entirely different matter: How do you put on those youtube videos?

    • thankyou Pia…
      you know its just sometimes the inability to share makes me angry and i end up thinking i should have been someone else..someone unlike me… but when im all cooled down i end up thanking God for making me ME.. 🙂 am totally crazy ..hehehe

      last night i was just watching Glee videos again and again…i think Santana and Mercedes are great when they sing together

      as for the Youtube video…its simple, took me tim to learn though, just lick on the small camera like button on top of the post box (inw hich we add the matterial for posting). a box will apear in front of you, click on “From URL” tab, click on “Audio, Video or other file” check button and paste the link copied from youtube… and finally lcik on insert into post 🙂 hope i wasnt too confusing 🙂

      • Thanks for the video tutorial! I’m gonna try it!

        I think we all wish to be somebody else sometimes, somebody stronger, more out loud, more talented or just different in some way. However, when that feeling comes along, I remind myself, that I’m the only me in the world, and that helps. Besides, we were BORN THIS WAY, right? 😉

        I just looove Santana and Mecedes when they sing together, they are awesome! “Rumor has it …” , it’s so great! And actually Santana and Rachel is fantastic together as well! I love their version of “I kissed a girl” 🙂

      • yeh you totally said it… i love gaga for giving me that song..
        its like an anthem for me “Born this way” 😀
        i loved that episode …loved how everyone had Santana’s back… Rachel and everyone else…
        i even watched its making of… 🙂

        Nothing can beat Rumor has it version..its my favourite ,…
        can you tell what was the song on which Santana, Brittany and Gwen Paltrow performed infront the class.? cant find it, because i don’t rem the song

  4. Aw, try going out and having a little bit of fun. Let work take a backseat for the moment!
    And to be honest, let your hair down, and don’t care for once what happens. Spoken by a good girl here. I mean, don’t do dumb shizz, duh. 😛 but it’s always nice to be a little dare devil-ish!
    Also, good food always makes my mood a lot better. Double Chocolate Fudge Cake, anyone? Or Japanese?

    And I only watch half of PLL’s new episode! I really want to know who is in the A team.

    • Double Chocolate Fudge Cake sounds perfect… i had two scoops of chocolate icecream though.. 🙂
      you are right being a dare devil is fun ..i wish i was more of the out going kind..
      i think PLL is great….. i think i know A..i mean i have few names ready for team A..I guessed Team A ‘s first member long time ago, in fact i guessed it in season 1..i told everyone i know A..and i was right about the first member (i dont know if you have seen that episode about Team A ‘s first member so do not wish to be a spoiler) 🙂

      • Ice-cream works out just fine! 😉

        Ooh, that was Mona, right? Tell me the names of the rest of the team! I think Ezra is in it too! But that’s just me. 😀

      • yes it was Mona…i knew it from season 1…
        wow..even i think its Ezra…. 🙂
        i think Ezra, Maya, Noah and Toby… Noah is definitely involved somewhere …
        Ezra looks suspicious too but my friend wont believe…i think he is involved 😛

    • Let her have two scoops of ice cream.. I am up for a double choco fudge or whatever as long as it has chocolate in it 😛 😀

      good food = good mood..!! There..nailed it..

  5. When you’re stuck doing something you don’t like and you can’t see a way out you end up feeling both depressed and angry. What is the very worst that could happen if you just made a stand and /stopped/ doing the thing that you don’t like? Would the world really fall apart? Only you can answer that question but having lived through some world breaking moments I know that reality is hardly ever as bad as we imagine it will be.

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