Yesterday I went through few random pages of my dairy and it made me happy. It was kind of a nice feeling to read all that and relive a particular day in my mind, all over again. This is why I feel guilty for not writing diary anymore, because there is no record of my life and how I felt everyday. While, my blog does tell how I felt everyday it really doesn’t talk of people I love and not love to have around me.
Did you see how I said not love instead of hate? I don’t hate anyone in my life, even people who aren’t nice to me. I think hate is a big emotion and I really don’t have that in me for anyone, because I’m too busy judging myself to use such word for anyone else.
Okay coming back to the diary, well I do this a lot; I go through my old diaries from school time, college days and my early office years. I do this just on am impulse to feel what I felt in past. I just pick a random diary from random year and read few pages and laugh (sometimes cry) on how things were and how I was.
I don’t write dairy anymore but I still get excited when I see a new dairy in a shop. Most of my diaries will tell you the same story about me, that I was a girl to whom her friends meant everything in every phase of her life, a girl who went through series of bad nights for months after every phase of shifting a place and a girl who likes herself but often blames herself for things. You know funny thing is no one will ever find the real story of me in my diaries, so it’s like even if you did get your hands on one of my little books you will not find out what’s my real issue. Infact if you want to know me, start watching shows i watch.
I have been thinking about doing something about my diaries, because they take a lot of space in my wardrobe and also I really don’t think I should keep them with me because my mom is always curios about them. But it would hurt me to get rid of them, once my diaries were all I had. Its like my dairy was my best friend, I shared things on my mind with pages when I didn’t had people to talk to. You know no one hears you as good as a page living inside a dairy. How can I get rid of them? What will I do when I feel like having a trip back memory lane? How will I get to read old pages of words talking about a girl who never stayed in one place for too long? You know I think it’s a nice way to give my introduction: the girl who never stayed in one place for too long. How cool is that? I think I can write a book on me but i rather not.
Its midnight and I crave for ice-cream or a pudding, should have bought one while coming from office. Maybe I can make a cup of coffee for me. I also crave for a Winona Ryder movie, so maybe I will look for a movie. What about “Girl Interrupted or Reality Bites”? I recently saw Addicted to Love again (have lost the count of Meg Ryan movies) and I was happy. I think there is no one as awesome as Meg Ryan and never will be. Sorry Hollywood but that’s the truth.
Funny thing is I was going to do a post on Lady Gaga today, but I went on talking about last night’s dairy visit. So I will leave you guys with a Gaga song. This one is my anthem and I love it more than any song. I love every remix and every cover version of this one because it’s awesome. So freaking awesome. Baby I was born this way…..!!!!!!