This isnt my battle to win…!!!!

“A suitcase and some songs” these are just wording but sometimes i wish i could pack few songs and walk away to a place i don’t know, people who don’t know me.

Last night i found Brandi Carlile’s some amazing songs and have been holding to them, trying to kill them with hope to get through with them. There is a reason why i find music an important part of me, it tells me what i wish people could. It hugs and begs me to keep walking, something i wish people could do. Well, i shouldn’t blame people; after all they don’t know i need it.

I wasted last two days doing nothing, nothing at all, and i should be feeling bad about it. I mean i didn’t work on my assignment; i should have as this was the best time because my friend is away and i have all the time. I didn’t read a page from my new book, worked on Dominique, watched any movie on my laptop, cleaned my wardrobe or so anything else. Nothing i did nothing. I was lying on the bed with music and begging myself silently to get up.

I couldn’t make myself do anything except walking around, dancing around and lying down with music. Same songs over and over again.

Truth is I’m not sure how to make me stand again. If i do something to make me feel better it goes away again. It’s all because of the stupid cheerful mood i was in past few days, i forgot the real me and now I’m standing face to face the real me.

There is another line from a song “I’m missing someone, but i don’t know who”…was it written for me? I would like to believe so.

Dear girl in my mirror,

I know how much it hurts, i know how hard it is but this isn’t your battle to win. No this isn’t. But that doesn’t mean it’s over, you are awesome and that’s what you have to be for as long as possible.