I’m super sleep deprived, super tired and weekend is all I look forward to, despite the fact that I might have to go to an exhibition I do not wish to go but it’s still better than going to Gotham and wondering what am I doing here.
There is this line in “Night at the museum -2” – key to happiness is doing what you love with people you love. Man I swear that was my life few years ago, I was at a place doing what I loved and with people I love and now I’m just at a place with everything changed. I don’t love what I do and I don’t have my people around me but I can’t move because I can’t. It’s like I’m shackled by fear to enter another world, more changes. Truth is I’m afraid of anything that has word NEW to it, new job, new people, new routine, new this new that. I have always been afraid of NEW, guess it has been with me all my life. New house, new school, new friends, new house, new school, new friends, new house, new school, new friends and it never stops.
I know it’s the lack of sleep talking, but right now I’m angry at something don’t know what. No I’m not angry at a person or life, I’m just angry and maybe I’m angry at myself for being so sensitive and fragile and all emotions all the time. I know many people would disagree because I rarely let them see I am sensitive usually its mean me.
Today I said something jokingly which I regretted very next second, because I have no right to judge someone. I can be a horrible person sometimes, anyhow am glad when I said this person wasn’t around.
So finally I managed to complete “Not without my daughter” and it was amazing. The book reminded me of one of my favourite book “A Thousand Splendid Suns”, only difference is not without my daughter is a true story. I couldn’t believe that this really happened.
The courage of one woman saved her daughter’s future. The book is about an American woman Betty and how she ends up being a hostage in Iran, because her husband won’t let her go back to life she once had. The book talks about good and bad people she meets in her desperate attempt to escape with her daughter. I plan to watch the movie now.
I have stopped all my workouts since last weekend and its time I get out of my stupidity because I need exercise for both body and my crazy mind.
I don’t know why I am not sleeping, all I know it’s going to kill me at work and that it’s going to add to my leaking emotions that’s usually a result of sleep deprivation. Maybe I should sleep, but I have to brush before I go and also need to clean the bed as I can’t see anything. My eyes are now closing which means time to go. I can’t stop listening to SKYFALL by Adele, it’s my current obsession and I’m on to it. I will kill it like every other song. It’s like every time I’m ready to surrender, life gives me a new song to kill.
All I want right now is a Friday evening.