Before I start with my episode and continue work on Jane Doe, I want to say something. Today I got salary raise and it makes me more than happy, it makes me super happy because no matter how screwed i’m with life at the end I’m not a complete loser. I work hard every day in Gotham but I never thought anybody cared.
I may not be the daughter my mom wished she had but i still made her little proud today which means a lot to me. I also missed my mentor and best friend a lot today because she is a major reason behind everything I do at work, she taught me all of it. My loved ones are disappointed with me at some corner of their heart and I know it very well but I also know today they are happy. I may act super self obsessed with “I’m Awesome” as my pet line but I have no confidence in me and so, today, I told myself silently that despite the darkness I have done good, despite the pain I have managed well. I wanted to be hugged but I managed with self pep talk.
To reach this day is in itself an accomplishment for me because I know the journey. It was a good day today, while it began with a big headache it turned out to be just awesome. Also had one of those rare family outings which added to the whole awesomeness.
Every other day when I cry myself to sleep I wonder if there is any reason to have hope and faith. Even today as I smile and dance inside my head I feel the dagger but I am happy. I’m not loser.
So finally weekend is here and for next two days I have just Jane Doe on my plate. Write write write.