NaNo makes me feel like I’m back in school…if I waste time, I feel guilty. Am almost 23K and I could have crossed 25K,but I waste time.
O and I can’t stay away from Glee or Grey’s Anatomy. I didn’t get much of Glease but loved Grey’s Anatomy today. Both the shows have made me smile because my favorite characters are back…almost.
So right now I have a feeling my life is screwed to a level I can’t explain but I feel happy at this second. Why? Because I’m writing and living as myself. I’m me when I’m writing and when I’m not, well am someone I’m not. Real me is alive when I write, I tell stories and picture characters. Rest, everything else about me is unreal a lie. Because I’m not what anybody sees. I have a story which I live through my stories, ofcourse changing facts or that wouldn’t be a story…it would become biography.
3AM and I have words to write. I could have worked before not wasted time, but even in school my mind worked only when I was on verge of failing.
Guess life changes we don’t.
My mom is coming back tomorrow. I would never say this to her, but I missed her and my brother too.
Sometimes I have urge to talk to someone about things but I know if I opened up I won’t stop. Happened before and I realised how I couldn’t stop it. I wanted talk about my miseries everyday. It gets heavy on the other person, I realised it and decided something should just stay inside and die inside.
Oh and I think I need a haircut, but then I don’t have time. And I need sweaters. Am hungry too at 3AM, wish I could get me coffee. And am babbling.
I better go now. Looking forward to meet my old college friend tomorrow. We were like a gang back then. I miss college sometimes but then I realised I looked horrible with braces and the worst haircut of my life.
Babbling again. Fck.