Vervained…!!!!

So im still low and in a”I don’t care” phase where every time i think of anything all i hear myself say is “i don’t care”

Voices: Whoa! your boss looks mad at you

Me: I dont care

Voices: You almost missed it. You were going in to the pole

Me: I don’t care

Voices: You are late

Me: I don’t care

Voices: Your NaNo is doomed

Me: I don’t care

Voices: You are boring

Me: I dont care

Yep! this phase comes a lot. I don’t know what to say, i sat with  my story today and i could feel nothing. i wrote few words but i left it. I didn’t wanted to work like this, it would have only screwed up my plot. My friend told me once don’t write just for sake of writing, write when you have it inside you . I need to care but right now i don’t.

Truth is im hurt and i feel scared, sad and lonely. Something tells me whats the a whole purpose of believing in happy endings when all i will get is nothing. Feels like i have been vervained. i cant feel my awesomeness. So i stopped the writing and started watching things online and i found Ellen’s funny videos. I love Ellen.

I have decided i cant keep  my diaries anymore, i have a feeling my mom is all curious about them. But i cant get rid of them,, they hold all my life…almost all of them. Got to go now, wasted the night, didnt write much and my throat hurts which means i’m going to get sick soon. I’m like Super Man with Kryptonite stuck inside me.