Even bundle of episodes of Castle and Gossip Girl, hours of music and a cup of chocolate icecream in freezing cold day couldn’t help me avoid the stream of tears that have been threatening since morning. It wasn’t a good day and of course I knew I was going to have trouble going through the day with my record of sleep, but not everything that happened was about my inability to sleep on time.
I was a misery all day because I could not focus or even think straight but I knew the cloud of blues were just the sleepy me, but the conversation I had with my mother was real. It wasn’t my sleepy mind’s hyper reaction to everything.
Truth is I feel bad for being so different form people in my life because I think it makes them worry and somewhat disappointed. Anyhow, I know I just need to lie down and when I will wake up I will be fresh and nothing will hurt. At least I hope.
Right now, all I want to do is just hug someone and cry till I sleep. I wish I wasn’t me but then that’s a lie too. I want to be me, I think I’m a nice person. well that would be a lie too, i think im awesome only not the kind people should have around them.