Painted so blue, wish i knew the reason too…!!!!

I want to watch a movie that I have already seen before, any movie would do but I have none because I lost all my movies when my laptop’s drive crashed. So here I am just wishing I had copied them in a pen drive for a day like today.

You know what’s my favorite place? My car. It’s the only place I feel better. Today I didn’t wanted to come home, no I wasn’t thinking of running away, I just wanted to drive around little more. The distance between my work place and my house is like 5 or 8 minutes. Driving was calming me down but I realized I was almost home, so I took a U-turn and decided to take a long cut. I drove back to one of my favorite shops near my office, bought me something to eat and came back home.

When I’m home I’m stressed and worried, when I’m at work I’m lost and bored; my car is the only place right now where I feel safe.

To be honest I have no idea why am on verge of crying, really have no idea or maybe I do. Even a tiny incident with ability to make me sad magnifies when my mind is all sleep deprived. Maybe that’s what it is. My inability to process things correctly because my mind is all sleep deprived.

One more day left before I can throw away my pretenses and sulk in my room.

If only I was just another regular 27 year old girl but I’m not. I’m freaking messed up, immature, crappy 27 year old who likes to dream with her eyes open because the one she sees when asleep only show her the reality of things.

I know what I need. I need to sleep. I need to stop killing my mind.

Before I leave: here is an amazing amazing performance by David Garrett. Man! He is good.

A part of my mind works 24/7 placing happy placards infront of me..just in case…!!!!

Sometimes when im online and I browse through sites or blogs and see the big happy quotes, motivational words and inspirations words in big font, I smile and wonder how any of them can make any difference in my life.

Sure, being positive is always good and inspirational words always remind you that but truth is, its not meant for me. All the speeches in the world cant do a thing for me, believe me when i say that. Eventually im meant to sink and even if I do place happy & motivational posters in my room, all over my bed, I cant deny they are not meant for me.

Well, I just saw an episode of Revenge and man I had tears, like real tears, in my eyes. Never thought I would cry watching an episode of Revenge. Still sad.

I have to go now, my book is calling me but then I wonder if it’s a good idea to read at 1 am. I mean I have Gotham tomorrow and im already too low on my sleep quota.

 

This isnt for me..

This isnt for me..

But this one maybe...

But this one maybe…

Who doesn’t like to smile? i do, despite the fact that im used to being blue i like smiling and being awesome. But i wont deny the fact that it wont help me when i will wave the white flag.

 

Im always at two places at one time…!!!!

It was a pretty decent weekend, and I feel better now health wise so, I guess I can take Monday and the week. Today when I was out with a friend watching movies, eating and driving around, I felt a bit of sadness inside me like a part of me was missing someone. I realized I was missing one of my best friends and the fun we used to have when she was living in the city. Even when having a good time, a part of me missed her.

On Friday night at 3:30 am, during my episode marathon, I realized I need red canvas shoes 🙂

I better go now, I have so many blogs to catch up with but I will do it all tomorrow. I just hope Monday goes smoothly.

Goodnight World!

When Batman falls sick…!!!!

 

Hmm...i think the cold is better. I can work.

Hmm…i think the cold is better. I can work.

Food doesn't feel good today. Weird.

Food doesn’t feel good today. Weird.

Why is it so cold today?

Why is it so cold today?

Hey Stop it...i said stop Aaachoo...excuse me

Hey Stop it…i said stop Aaachoo…excuse me

Hey buddy i know you are busy, but could pass me some tissues...my nose...Aaachoo...Excuse me

Hey buddy i know you are busy, but could you pass me some tissues…my nose…Aaachoo…Excuse me

Dude! That's really high. I cant fly that much today. Ahem! hey buddy i was thinking...

Dude! That’s really high. I cant fly that much today. Ahem! hey buddy i was thinking…

Thanks Man! You didnt had to..but thanks anyway...

Thanks Man! You didnt had to..but thanks anyway…

bat5

You will pay for...Aachhoo..Stop Laughing..Grrr

You will pay for…Aachhoo..Stop Laughing..Grrr

Huh! Hey guys dont tell anyone. im...Zzz

Huh! Hey guys dont tell anyone. im…Zzz

5YTXBQqsAE-2

Alfred im Okay....Zzzz

Alfred im Okay….Zzzz

Soldier at ease…Life says take a break…!!!!

So life says ceasefire…I don’t know if its for a day or a week, but I know I can feel my pulse again and im breathing. Yay!

But stupid cold and fever won’t let me cherish the moment. Now, all I need to do is manage next 9 hours tomorrow and I have my two days of rest. No one knows what hit me and what went through my head except my one super friend. I don’t know what I would have without her, because I was losing my mind.

I wish there was some miracle for me, wish there was someone who would save me.  But it’s a battle that I will lose and nothing can change that. So all I need is to make myself strong which crazy because I thought I was strong. Some Nights is my anthem right now as I listen to it on replay mode.

I cant live if im not living as me.  Not being me can be lethal for me.

Okay people time for my medicine and a nap. Hope I wake up well enough to go to work, play Scrabble in evening and come home to series of episodes waiting for me. Fingers crossed!

Goodnight World!