When I was a teenager, a little girl, I believed in love stories and I hated people who had anger in them and ironically (I wonder if that’s how the word is used) today I’m the last one to smile at love stories and anger is my middle name.
How does a person changes so much? I don’t know.
You know how we all have fears? I have so many of them and one of them is being forgotten. I don’t know why I’m so blue right now, wish I knew. Funny thing I don’t even know what exactly is making my eyes watery. Good thing I have ice-cream this time.
It’s been 3 months since Snowy went away and I still keep forgetting he isn’t around. Sometimes I when I’m busy doing something I tend to look around to see what he is doing and it hits me, right there right then.
Yesterday two of my very good friends, individually and separately, were discussing some issues with me. Both were super stressed out and upset and I was trying to be the good listener, the helping party. At one point I asked myself where I go. Whom should I call and tell things? Who will hear me and just nod because I don’t want any advice or words just ears.
Right now I am totally high on emotions and anger is one of them. Mostly I’m angry, because people can’t see me. They look at me but not really see me.
Some days I just want to lock myself in my room and do not nothing but read or write, not talk to anyone, just lay down looking at the ceiling, say nothing just keep humming my favourite song. Then there are days when I want to stand up walk out, smile, dance, talk, sing, work on my story, believe that I can be a writer, dream that there is a dawn and understand how at the end it’s all going to get in to places.
I should just sleep or read or whatever.
P.S this cover of Radioactive is way too awesome. Better than original.