History can repeat itself, but not tomorrow…!!!!

I haven’t talked to anyone about my diagnosis and I’m kind of avoiding writing about it because I’m not sure how I feel about officially being diagnosed. Probably because I think I always knew now others know.

I had a good weekend and from tomorrow starts the annual chess tournament of Gotham. I can’t say I’m not freaking out, because I have a pretty good memory which makes it hard to forget last year. But I can say I have little confidence, that I will try my best to not make a fool out of me.  Tomorrow I can’t let history repeat itself; I can’t let myself go down the same road again. I’m already on the edge, I need a hand and tomorrow I will give myself one…hand of hope.

This is me giving myself pep talk because tomorrow I’m playing for myself, I’m Team Me.

I don’t know much, I have no talent just an ability to write stories and play Chess. I don’t know if its okay for me to be positive, for me to believe it will be easy, it will be awesome, but I want to believe it will. Maybe I will win tomorrow and day after tomorrow and again, maybe I will be send my story and get a Yes from the publishing house. Maybe I will fall in love someday. Maybe one day I will tell my mom and she will understand. Maybe one day I will travel and find someone like me.

There are ‘Maybes’ that I want to see but for now, right now I want to believe in ‘Maybe I will play my best and do well, make me proud’.

So here I’m ready for the game and by Friday (or maybe even before) I will send my story to the first publishing house in my list.

Got to go now, have to read few pages before I pop in the idiotic pills that make me groggy.

Goodnight world!

P.S leaving you with pictures of the day

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9 thoughts on “History can repeat itself, but not tomorrow…!!!!

  1. be positive – if your effort is sincere, no matter if you win or lose, you win. I also think that the people who care about you, will feel the same no matter how you do.

    In all my years of playing rugby, the greatest satisfaction came from sincere, honest effort. Then win or lose never stole the joy of playing. – bw

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