Can anyone die of boredom?

Im in pain and the reason, for the first time, is not my story but life in general.

I think its the fact that am bored. So bored of my work, when I ask myself what is it that do? I almost expect someone to say what Frank said to Kathleen Kelly. But then that is what happens in movies, in reality am not a lone reed. Am just a confused loner who is scared to walk out of her comfort zone.

I have been thinking about my job and I wish I could gather the guts to march into unknown.

Today im missing 3 friends all at same time, because I miss them. Yes, at same time.

Another reason am low is lack of good sleep that I make sure i never get. Why the hell cant I just sleep when I know have work tomorrow? Where is weekend? Man I feel drained out and exhausted.

I worry about people I love and today Im worried for a person who is very close to my heart. I wish i wasnt living in another city, so I could just visit and feel better. You know how when you are young and crazy in college and you think life would be the same forever. The good times, long nights, friends and carefree living, nothing will change. It does and today I feel like one of those old people who like to talk about their younger days with the words “when I was young”.

Right now am low on positivity and high on mixed emotions. Its raining outside and im hardly noticing because I dont care, im busy being worried, sad and confused.

You cant be your own friend, your own doctor, your own superhero…and when you try to, its nothing but a sad and sour reality that you are a lost cause.

I wish to take a day off tomorrow and stay home all day and indulge in self-pity, but I cant I will have to get up, drive down to work and smile at people when all I want to do is cry like a teenager who likes to believe that everything bad in the world happens to her, just her.

Goodnight world!

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Time to be Batman again…!!!!

Two days of writing has been fun but now Monday stares at me with a mean look. I dont know why but im sort of excited about tomorrow, probably because am sending my story again to another publication house.

Though it was a good weekend and tomorrow is an important day, I feel sad rigth now. For no reason. I need a hug, I do.

Im not sleepy but I think I should go to bed for I dont want Gotham city to torture me. Goodnight world!!!!

Posted from WordPress for Windows Phone

Posted from WordPress for Windows Phone

Posted from WordPress for Windows Phone

Posted from WordPress for Windows Phone

Posted from WordPress for Windows Phone

Sometimes a writer just needs one song, one right song…!!!!

It was just the kind of the day I needed, productive in terms of writing and super relaxing. It’s funny how my mind can make me do weird things. What is that? Well whole week I mentally worked on my new story, had even written one chapter and was dying to work more on it during weekend. And then on Friday I’m listening to a song by Agnes Obel, when I end up playing a whole new story inside my head.

I have a whole new story, new script and characters ready to come out on paper. So here I’m writing on the new untitled story instead of the one I was suppose to work on. But it’s okay because this one won’t let me think of anything else. It’s all crazy but good. I’m writing since morning and it is calming me down, making me all better and happy. The kind of week I had, I needed something good and writing this story is kind of fixing me.

Though I wish I would just go out for a while, I do but, I mean to the city. I need a haircut, I’m avoiding it. I have few errands in city, I’m avoiding them. I’m like a vampire who won’t leave the house because I don’t have my sunlight ring.

Anyhow, another good thing about the day is the fact that I have found my next publication house. Well fingers crossed, again. I will keep doing this again and again till I end up succeeding. And I will; I would like to believe for I have no options. Like Meg Ryan’s character Karen Emma Walden says “No Surrender”. I am not giving up, not yet. I don’t know if you have seen this movie people, but if not then make Courage Under Fire your next movie.

Its late, I should go now. O I can’t believe Saturday is over. You know what I want for my birthday next month? Of course, an acceptance letter. How cool would that be?

Goodnight World!

my mind cant come up with a title…am that exhausted!!!!

I took forever for Friday evening to come and every part of me physically and mentally feels exhausted. Good thing i have no plans tomorrow and only thing i will be doing is stay in my PJs all day long, while i spend quality time with my laptop and cup of coffees.

I plan to indulge in junk therapy too!!!!

But right now, i need to watch something nice and happy, anything. Because I saw “The boy in striped pyjamas” and it broke my heart. It did. The last scene with the mother was heart breakingly sad. I have seen a lot of holocaust related movies, read a lot about it, researched enough but it won’t ever stop making me sad. This movie was the biggest heart breaker of all. It brought back the effect Sarah’s Key the book had on me.

Got to go now. Goodnight world!

#Youvegotmail

The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. – ‪#‎youvegotmail‬

 

SB1

A whole day without a song, no doubt am feeling dizzy…!!!!!

I once went up to a family, having lunch in a restaurant, and asked them if the car parked outside with a dog in it is theirs, when they said yes i asked them to roll down the windows a little bit so poor dog can breath. Yes i did that. It was long time ago and though i was pretty sure they might go all crazy about minding my own business, i still went straight to them.

I once scolded a kid who throwing stones on a dog, even though his grandfather was nearby and i knew he would yell and run to him which he did.

I don’t know why am telling all this, but truth is i don’t like people who are mean to dogs.

Okay so it was a very very very tiring and exhausting day, i hardly got time for thinking and worst i didn’t listen to even a single song till 745 in evening. From 10 to 745 i was working and working. Almost died by the time i got out of Gotham. First thing that i did was get into my car and play Demi Lovato on loud volume, it hit me like a drug and i felt alive. I said no to temptation of junk food and coffee and came home to do a 15 minutes of rope skipping.

Every single bone in my body is begging to sleep and maybe i will. A Brazilian intern had come for a day and i worked with her all day long, only break i took was a 30 minutes of KFC lunch trip.

Man! i feel weird right now. Exhausted and drained out.

Will be back tomorrow.

Goodnight world!

P.S Dont tell anyone a busy day doesn’t scares me its the slow boring day, when i have all the time in the world to indulge in self pity.

 

 

#ilovemyheadphones

Monday can be fun, if you spend most of it with good lovely music people in your phone #ilovemyheadphones

Was a busy day today and so will be tomorrow. Which is good, im scared of an ideal mind. Good thing i wrote a chapter of my new story today.

Gotta go.
Goodnight world!!

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From Superhero to Vampire…!!!!

Nothing productive again…i wonder if I was better without a weekend.

Am angry and bitter today. Feel so alone because today im angry with everyone I know, friends and family. Was so mad at my loved ones, because of a conversation I overheard, that I wanted to not talk to anyone. So I made me coffee, put my headphones and watched You’ve Got Mail for some 1000th time again. Meg Ryan was my escape. My love for Kathleen Kelly and her Shop Around The Corner will never stop surprising me.

Then I got up, changed into better clothes and drove to the market. I needed fresh air. Got me coffee and bought four new books before I came back home. Buying books was needed. I needed to do something for me.

“People are always telling you change is a good thing but all they are really saying is that something you didnt want to happen at all, has happened” This qoute from the movies sums up the truth about life in general.

Kathleen Kelly was brave to march towards unknown, im not. But I just love, love this movie and Meg.

Monday is here and I know how busy its going to be but am relieved for I had become a Vampire. Staying inside all day, hardly leaving my house.

Now am wondering if I should cancel my plan of taking off on my birthday. Happy birthday to me…yay…whats so yay about it. Have to go, bitter me needs to take a nap.

Goodnight world!

P.S im sorry for being absent from other blogs. Will be back. Just need my internet to get fixed. Blogging through phone is hard.

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