Not sure if im happy or sad about the vacation getting over..!!!

Would I be lying if I said that I wasnt missing Gotham and my room? I guess the answer is a simple word Yes.

Yesterday when I boarded that bus back to my city I was sad because I wanted to stay little more. I was having fun, I was away from my world of worries. But it would be wrong to say I was sunshine. I missed my world of aloofness but then I knew eventually I would be back to being a superhero soon. I wanted to stay, I wanted to come back.

Today was a weird day. Dont know why.
I guess from tomorrow I will feel at home and everything will feel normal.

Goodnight world!

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Little is having fun…!!!!

An indian wedding is nothing but crazy. Tonight we laughed so much that i don’t know when was the last time i had a moment like this.

Wedding and the whole relative gathering still scares me, i miss my Friday nights, lonely karaoke and endless cups of coffee but i wont deny im enjoying this tiny break from everyday ‘s monotonous work routine.

Everyone is like you are next Little but my defense mechanism is totally immune to it. Its amazing how im filtering all scary stuff and having a good time.

Im not like any person here but its okay. I needed a break.

This house is where i have spent a huge time of my baby childhood days, when i was a sweet little girl who knew nothing about life. I love this house because of my childhood memories. I wasn’t really close to my grandmother but everytime i visit this house a part of me wants to see her once. Dont know why but i kind of miss her, like this house feels incomplete without her. I don’t even think i ever spent more than five minutes with her after growing up but im used to visiting this place with her being there.

I must go now. My throat is itchy and there are two more days of crazy indian wedding with so much fun.

Best part kids love me. Don’t know why and how. But im popular among my nieces and nephews.

Goodnight world!

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50 shades of darkness…!!!!

Found one of my old diaries while packing my bag for tomorrow. It made me smile, laugh out loud and cry.

Wonder why i stopped writing?

There in those pages are days of my life. Captured with honesty because i knew it was one place i could talk. But truth is even in my diaries i have never spoken or written about the truth. It has always been inside me.

Life isn’t always black and white, sometimes its light dark and dark dark.

My bags are packed. Am ready.
Goodnight world!

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On journey from Denial to Acceptance, life serves you crazy cocktail called “Mixed emotions”…!!!!

Last night i had a karaoke night in my room, as i danced and sang to loud music from the speakers in my room. I used my television remote as my fake microphone while jumping up and down on my bed late at night.

My mom was worried i was going to break something in my room, my father was worried about neighbours complaining about loud music at that time of the night. But it was so much fun and rejuvenating.

I don’t know what triggered it but i had the best karaoke night because i danced like no one was watching, because no one was watching. I do this dance on my bed session alot but usually on a weekday.

What can i say, between Denial and Acceptance there is a long journey of mixed emotions and crazy moments.

I have been having a very busy time at Gotham and even though its killing me, im happy about it. You cant afford to think and go wailing because your mind is busy working. Nice deal. Even though bottling up emotions is a recipe for disaster it always works well for few good drama free days.

I should do more of this my-kind karaoke nights, at least i will get some kind of exercise while im trying to break my bed. No tv episodes isn’t that bad but im afraid with no internet, i might not be able to complete this year’s NaNoWriMo or worst take part in it. Lets see, even if i don’t i will start writing as soon as im back.

Got to go, busy day tomorrow plus i feel exhausted.
Goodnight world.

Sometimes i wish i was more expressive and less walled up. Sharing and expressing is a good thing and i wish i could do that. If only i wasn’t the mean angry Hulk anymore, who enjoys long drive, buying coffee, shopping for books and dancing to music…all alone. If only i wasn’t the “my own favorite person” kind of person.

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Batman is ready for Gotham, for Batman had a Me-Day…!!!!

Well the not so good part about the day was the fact that my mother isn’t home today. Rest of it, all of it, was something i needed.

After a long time i had “Just me” day. I went for a haircut, took the longest route back home, got me a coffee en route and listened to beautiful songs while enjoying my lonely, but great drive day. Well i couldn’t buy a book, only regret.

It was a day that started with a blue mood because i was in charge of my house in absence of my mom. And the first thought that came to me was, i need to make breakfast for my dad, have to send my brother on time and make sure Snowy eats his food…and then i realised he isn’t here. I was concerned about him because he always used to act so grumpy and blue and “i wont eat, i want mommy’ in absence of my mother. But then it hit me. It was sad. Then i went for my long drive to city, got me a haircut and drove like crazy while singing out loud in my car.

So i can say i had a pretty okay Sunday. Even though i know not many people are going to like my haircut and im going to get a lot of “why do cut them so short?”, im pretty happy right now to worry about it.

I really needed a lazy day where im all by myself, just me. I better go now, its going to be a busy week, because i have to wrap up work before i head for the family wedding on Friday.

Goodnight world!

Loving yourself a little is the only way to survive the darkness inside.

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Love would find me, one day…!!!

Somedays I wonder
What would I say
The day
We end up
Face to face
What if by
God’s grace
You found me
And we found
Eachother
What would I say
How would I say
How I had been
Dreaming
Picturing
Of this day
Believing in you
That you
Would one day
Walk to me
To be
With me
To save me
Guard me
Protect me
But what would I say
At the moment
For which I pray
Day in day out
Every part of me shouts
For you
In search of you
What would I say
When I would want to say
That I knew you
Would come for me
Against all odds
We would meet
Even Gods
Up above
Know
I need you “Love”
I believe
In you
One day
Someday
Love would
Find me
I wonder
What would I say
At that moment
At that minute
Would I smile
For a while
Or be surprised
Or pretend
I knew the end
What would I do
When love
You would
Come for me…!!!!

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We are ready to send humans to Mars soon, but we dont have a Hug-Machine…sad!!!

I think these are just tears of exhaustion. Imagine if life was simple as going to fridge and opening it to get a hug or calling the home delivery store for a hug or just snapping a finger to get hugged. Nah! Life isnt that simple. Its hard, you dont get a hug just because you want one. Not if you live a life of someone who likes to or prefers to be aloof and alone.

I just finished my second James Patterson novel and he is good. Really good. Both the books were so hard to keep down. This second one 9th Judgement was kind of crazy with so much thrilling suspense. I plan to read all of his Bennet and Lindsay series. My bloody internet has died and I have decided to do something about it once we are back from the family wedding. So no internet, no tv shows which means all I have got are the books. Bring it on.

I need another cup of coffee but I think I should just sleep early. The week has been nothing but a crappy set of busy days which in a way am greatful about. I hate slow days, makes me think and go blue. But busy days are breaking me physically.
Everyday im so exhausted that I have no energy for workout. There goes my resolution to exercise daily.

Imagine im actually looking forward to a family wedding that could be hard on me. Why? Five days off from work. Its like there is no win win. Work or a vacation that consists of wedding, relatives and people looking at you with those “you are next” looks. Lovely.

With so much science we still dont have a hug machine? Shame. If only I was smart enough to make one. I had a bear once, where did he go?

Got to go for im afraid if I didnt go sleep, I will make me one of those instant coffee with sachet and hot water.

Goodnight world!

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Little has a crush on young Robert De Niro, but she is still team Jodie Foster…!!!!

It was a very very busy and exhausting day at Gotham, infact this whole week has been tiring. And, unfortunately, there are still two more days to go before I get my weekend. I dont know if I can make it another two days.

I need a haircut, a weekend, a day in my room, an episode marathon, some writing, loud music, cup of nice coffee, book shopping…that’s it for now.

Truth is my list of things I need or want is pretty big, but I cant even make it as small as one word.

If I can get my dawn, I think I will be okay. But freedom comes with a cost and I dont think I can afford my independence.

On a brighter note, let me tell you something that you didnt know. I saw “Taxi Driver” and Its lot different from the kind of movies I see but Robert De Niro blew my mind. Im all team Jodie Foster. The woman is role model and a brilliant actress. Period. But when I saw Taxi Driver, my eyes were soley on Robert De Niro. Okay firstly his work was really nice and secondly he looks so bloody good looking. I have never seen any of his old movies, so I have never seen him young. Young De Niro can beat any guy today.

Yes the movie was little too dark but the work put in by Robert and Jodie is brilliant. Not my kind of cinema but good cinema. My kind of dark movies are Girl Interrupted and Suckerpunch.

Got to go now.

Goodnight world!

P.S tell me names of old movies that are worth watching. I have heard about Breakfast at Tiffanys is good.

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