Little misses her little dog…!!!!

I might get my Dawn but i wont ever have you back in my life…i miss you everyday…I miss you trying to fall all over the laptop to get my attention, i miss your happy and jumpy welcome on entering the house, i miss your stubbornly cute face when you had to have what i was eating…i miss everything…i miss you so so much.

Some days, like right now, your absence hits like a sucker punch. Its sad that i can have everything in life, even the most impossible ones like freedom from blues, happy ending and my dawn but what i cant EVER have is you back in my life, what i cant have is all those years of you and me growing up together all over again.

why should you vote for me?

So before i say anything, everybody raise your hands because i just read somewhere that Robert Pattison and Kristen Stewart are back. Maybe its a gossip, and not true, but i would like to believe its true and i would like to say Oh Snap and dance inside my head…

I am a dark person, totally twisted and most of the time my mind is a crazy place but i like to see world as a happy place. I have been in love with these two people since i first read and watched Twilight.

You see I’m like the worst kind of person you can have around but i do have some nice things about me.

Why should i be nominated as Super Hero of the year?

I believe in equality, if not me then who? Come on. If i could i would have voted for Obama but sorry dude Sir im kind of not eligible but yeah go Obama.

I love love love Dogs and if i could i would buy a huge mansion and own lots and lots of dogs because i cant stop loving them. Even though losing one has broken my heart into tiny little pieces that can never be fixed. No animal cruelty and violence in my secret world, where im the queen. Of course only few people live in that land, me and voices in my head.

I love everyone, im big on giving love. Don’t believe me? Ask all the fictional characters i spend days talking to and falling in love with. Yes, i do know i give less attention to real flesh and blood around me but hey giving love is giving love…right?

I believe in spreading music around. How? Take a drive with me and you will see how i put on loud music and sing along with my windows rolled up. Who does that? Offering free awesome music along with a karaoke session.  Man! I can make you cry with the pain in my voice when i sing along a sad song. For disclamer purposes the pain would be physical torture caused on your ear drums and not the emotional soothing heart wrenching melodious one, but hey Pain is Pain. No discrimination when it comes to music in my land.

I believe in diversity. Some days im Batman, some days Hulk and then i do like to play Spidey too. Don’t believe me? Come to my room. So much clothes and books and socks and shoes everywhere, you will be lost and stuck…where do you get lost and stuck? In a Spider’s web…see? did you get it? Im a Spidey too.

Am so awesome that even the word “Awesome” gets upset if not used for me. Im like Jack of all trades and Master of all Jacks.

I can be a Super Hero with talent to be all of them, sometimes at once. A night creature who stays up all night and sleeps at work while still managing to kill the deadline. I can write a story inside my head while staring at my work PC screen for 30 minutes. I can go in and out of a conversation around me without the others knowing it because i nod, unknowingly and amazingly i nod, even though I’m at some fun place inside my head. I can listen to one song all day and yet end up screaming singing its lyrics in car (while coming back) like i just heard it for the first time. I can buy books and not even read them and still buy more because i have no books to read. I can quote “You’ve Got Mail” in every situation because i think i have never been in love like im in love with Katheleen Kelly and because “I’m a Lone Reed”…see quoting. Did you get that, Lone Reed from the movie? No you didn’t? Go watch You’ve Got Mail. How can you  not watch that movie and not love it and not quote it?

I can waste time like no one else can by thinking of four random things that i need to do and crossing them one by one singing Eeny, meeny, miny, moe only to realize i just need to do one thing and i have no time now because its like 2 AM in morning. Lastly, I (and this is for real, like TRUE STORY real) can drink a cup of coffee and sleep right after that for hours without even feeling bad for wasting, the coffee and, time i spent making it with hope of waking up my dead brain.

Phew! Honestly i don’t have anything to say. I am a twisted soul with one good thing about me i don’t like to talk nice things about me. Kind of humble. So even if you do not want to vote for me, i would be so not okay okay I mean after all Im already So Awesome…

Superheroes

Guess which one is Little?

What do you think? Awesome? Or Awesome?

Im in love with a different music person, everyday…!!!

Today i wanted to do a post on a singer i can’t stop listening. But maybe some other day, because i don’t know when, and how, i wasted all my time. Why it is that during the day time at Gotham is long and never ending, while at night it moves like a Jet Plane.

I’m a night creature by habit, i live when everyone is asleep which is kind of creepy and weird but I’m fine with those adjectives. Right now i feel cold and kind of tired.

Funny thing is when i was thinking of telling you about my favourite singer i realised it’s difficult to choose one. I have more than one favourite music person. It’s like every day i cheat on each one of them by playing another’s music on loop. One day it’s Avril, another day it’s Brandi or Adele or some days it’s a band and some days i only listen to cover singers.

Who is your favourite singer?  Can you take one name?

Like today whole day i was working, living and breathing on Avril’s new album playing in my mp3 player but now i am stuck on Brandi’s music, because i think she is awesome. See, what i mean? Anyhow, i think i better sleep.

I wanted to read, i wanted to write and i wanted to watch some episode but i did nothing because time slipped by and now it’s almost 1 AM.

I miss Snowy. My room is such a lonely place now without him. He was the best roommate ever. Goodnight world!

Little Hulk…!!!!

Was suppose to be a happy weekend, but i guess that word kind of has some issues with me. Anyhow, weird but am looking forward to go back to Gotham tomorrow.

I am worried about my awesomeness…its all down to minus 20.

Before I go I want to say “Thankyou Veena Sud” for The Killing. What show.

weird much?

Im one those of weird people who fall in love with fictional characters to the state where it hurts to see the character dying, even its all fiction. Probably because fiction is where i find peace, love and a sense of calmness. Truth, reality and real people sort of hurt me and i feel like everyone is always judging me. Well i know they got reasons and they are only concerned but.

Anyhow, so its 2 am and i just saw an episode and a fictional character in the show died,well it kind of makes me sad. I mean, what happened to happy endings? Wasn’t fiction the place to find them? I know its not that kind of show where its all roses and sunshine but still. Truth is i have had a bad and a good day, which makes me all weird right now. Good day cause i was out having fun in evening and because i have 3 days of off now with lots of fun planned but i woke up weird. The sense of gloom i woke up with is kind of sticky and even a good evening has not been able to wash it away.

I wish life was fiction, i wish i could just walk inside a book or a show and live like a character inside them, i wish there was a Dawn for real. I wish. Reality is kind of roaming above me like a blue weather, which is why i cant shake off the fact that every smile i give is fake, every laugh i have is fake and im not like any of the people around me and never will be and no one will ever get it, even the ones who love me dearly.

I sound sad i know, sulky i know but i think its the whole waking up on the wrong side of the bed thing. I need to sleep it off and i will be fine because tomorrow is a busy day. Movie, shopping, mall and loved ones. Its just right now i cant find my hope capsule so im all acting like those people with no faith. Cant believe im actually crying over a fictional character. Man! i am super weird.

Better go. Goodnight world!

Just something i once started working on, when i was a writer…

Sitting next to a window with rain pouring inside, i smoked my fourth cigarette of the day because i didn’t know what else to do. Weather man on the radio had predicted a thunderstorm but then again i had no intention of going out, not now, not ever. I was born in a mansion but this room apartment made me feel richer than i ever was in that house of 20 rooms.

The sudden flash of lightening blinded me for a second and i looked back wondering if i should close the window, but she was asleep like a baby, unaware of the storm outside. Her face brought a smile to my face and i felt tears streaming out. I threw my cigarette, closed the window and walked up to the bed and closed the bed side light. I lied there next to her looking at her tired pale face, she looked exhausted. I knew it was not going to be like this forever, i knew one fine day i won’t get to be around her but i didn’t know what to do.

I never talked about it with anyone but her; she would often tell me how i should move on with life. And every time she spoke, it didn’t felt that bad. She would say,

“All you have to do is live”

“i am living” i would reply

“But not like this, you have to follow your dreams and fall in love”

And i would slowly add “Again” to her sentence with a cracking voice which would make her cry.

Every night i would close my eyes wondering if tonight’s the night, every morning i would wake up crying because i still had her. Joy can be more painful sometimes, which is hard to understand.

To go or not to go…

Recently I read this funny article on how to interact with an introvert. Now am not sure if I really am an introvert but I do have few traits for sure. Article said something about an introvert being someone who rather stay home with his/her books than go out. Hmm Check…

See now I’m confused because I love to go out with my friends (specific few not with those I interact superficially due to work obligations) but I also have days where all I want is to stay home alone and I give as many excuses as possible to not go out, even to the friends I love to hang out with. Now who am I?

Today there is some pre wedding function and tomorrow is the wedding of my office colleagues. Well i know i have to have to go tomorrow but I’m all confused about today. Since morning, since the moment I woke up, I have been doing “to go or not to go”. Giving silly reasons, counting pros and cons and driving myself crazy. Why? Because I don’t want to go and hangout with the office girls, I don’t want to dress up and pretend that I’m having a good time. And I don’t want to listen to “o you look good in Indian suit…o wow look who’s not wearing her snickers” blah blah blah.

My friend says go have fun and come back, but I wonder why a social gathering is never a fun for me, especially a wedding.

I need a flower, cause I’m playing “to go or not to go”

#ThankyouSachin

I don’t want to sound like those devoted sports enthusiast but when Sachin Tendulkar took retirement from ODIs i stopped watching cricket like i used to. That’s a true story.

Cricket has been one thing i watched, played and learned only because i grew up watching Sachin Tendulkar on TV. I had a few posters on my wall when i was a teen, Avril, Britney, Backstreet, an Indian Actress, Disney cartoons and one of him.

So today when the legend played his last cricket match and gave that goodbye speech it was so surreal. Man! It’s like end of an era. Cricket won’t be same ever no matter how many awesome players come.

With Sachin taking a retirement, its a wrap from my end too, because I’m not sure if it would be fun to watch the game without him being in the team. I mean what’s the fun of watching a cricket match when you don’t get scream out loudly “Sachin, Sachin”.

A man so loved, so successful and so awesome, he never let the whole cloud 9 thing get to him. Humble, humble and humble…Sachin Tendulkar is the man who doesn’t fit the standard “Rags to Riches” phrase because he never changed. Maybe he became more appreciative of the love and success but never went on the arrogant side of the love, money and victory.

This one is for him:

To Sir,

Thank You for making cricket what it suppose to be, a gentleman’s game. Thankyou for every cricket match of yours, because whether you scored a century, a double century or a zero, seeing your spirit, your god like aura and your humble smile on the field was always a pleasure. History can never be written without mentioning you in it. It’s an honor to be a part of your cricket journey.

Thankyou for the millionth time, sir.

sachin-tendulkar-81-century