Sing me a lullaby…!!!!

I wanted to write about something today but now i cant think about it. huh! what was it? Anyhow, i want to tell you all something. I love my phone, i do. There i said it. Every since mobile phones became the thing to buy, i have had bought so many of them. No, not because im rich but i just happen to have been an owner of a new phone almost every other year. Strange i know.

But this one, the one i have right now, has to be the one that i would not part with easily. Nokia’s music app is killing me with happiness and music.

I still don’t remember what i wanted to talk about. What was it?

I want to meet a stranger, fall in love, go travel, get drunk, write a love poem and actually hand it over, wake up to a face every day, dance to crazy teen songs while pasting pictures of someone on the walls of my room, practice smiles in mirror and look at the stars only say they are beautiful. I want to be happy, head over heels and in love like every other normal person is. I want to walk out of the cloud of darkness and glitter in the sunshine of happiness.

Even that’s not what i wanted to write, but that’s just something i say every day to myself hoping one day it would come true. Cause you have to fight, you just have to be Kathleen Kelly and throw some punches in the air and say “Fight, Fight, Fight” or Capt. Karen Emma Walden with “No Surrender” attitude. Yes, I love Meg Ryan 😀 guilty as charged.

I think the week has been too exhausting and that’s why i forgot what i wanted to say.  I have to go because i have a S.J Bolton book to finish.

Man! i need some sleep. Anyhow, today i was running and this thought came to about how glad im for music and what if there was no music in the world. I tried to imagine and i almost died imagining because ever since i have slipped in to my darkness music is one big thing keeping intact. yes, there are other things, there are friends too but i am so glad world has music. When im with my headphones im often a person you would like. Truth is if you’ve had met me in another place, another world chances are you would have loved me because im a fun person deep down somewhere i think.

Okay! now I’m really shutting up my babbling. Somebody make me sleep.

Goodnight world!

!!!

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Richie Rich’s Anatomy?

If only i was rich, so rich. No no i dont want to go on a shopping spree or buy a Ferrari , i just want to be rich so i could just stay home all day, sleep all day, live in my pajamas, work on my stories all day and never go to work.

What can i say? Some days im pissed at world for being unfair and biased to those who need compassion, some days i hate world for not seeing me and breaking my fall and then there are days like today, when i cant stop wondering what if i was rich enough to not go to Gotham and spend days and nights reading and writing.

If i refuse to like haters, would that make me a hater too?

I don’t know but i don’t get why some of us grow up to be haters. why some of us choose to not like a person because of how he/she looks, the color, the orientation and the religion?

I get that understanding someone who isn’t like you is hard, but i don’t get the reason to hate.  Anyhow, i cant tell you why im writing this so just ignore my anger.

Here is a good song. Do check out the slow dance by the guy in the video.

Little you are not the only crazy person in this world….!!!!

Okay! I had no idea that some Hong Kong based businessman has put huge, crazy huge, amount of money on offer for any guy who would marry his gay daughter. He basically would make a man rich if he ends up turning his gay daughter straight. Hmm, just when i thought that nothing else can surprise me. Honestly, this news kind of makes me angry. Why cant Mr. money accept his daughter the way she is and love her for what she is and give all that money to people who actually need it. Man! that is twisted.

Anyhow, today was Republic day and i didn’t do much except being a host to guests at my place. Im no longer a fan of republic day or independence day but i wish i could have free time today. I don’t do i love my country and its the best. I don’t anymore. I dont know if that’s weird.

My head hurts, its so cold and every bone in my body is begging me to sleep.  Im so tired and exhausted that i cant feel any emotion right now. Bed is all i can think of. Coffee, donut, book and bed. Just what i need. I wish i could take a day off tomorrow but i cant.

I got to go. Still, cant believe Mr. Hong Kong. I better sleep.

Goodnight world!

 

Blogger or Blabber? Who cares, its frekn 600th post…Yay

Yesterday i played 5 games of Chess and i won every single game but i wonder why cant i do same when im playing at the yearly Chess Tournament at Gotham. While it was a good day for  me, it wasn’t for my buddy Federer. Anyways, who cares about final now. Victory or no victory i’m always Team Federer…!!!!

Before i go babbling, this is my 600th post and so i want to say YAY…!!!!!!!!!

Crazy right? I think blogging and music have become my drug cant do without them. 6oo posts is super crazy and wow considering the fact that im not even a serious, funny, political, or freshly post material. Im just a messed up person who was once a diary writer and is now a serial blogger.

Hey, i have also added a new page to my blog Poet inside Little’s Head. This one has all the so called poems that i have written so far in my blog. I just compiled them in one place because i have been meaning to do that for so long now. Im not a poet but sometimes i end up scribbling words in a manner which could, from a very far angle, resemble to something like a poem.

Thankyou for being a part of my blog journey…Little doesn’t blog she blabbers but she likes doing it.

Fiction is like Xanax…!!!!

Only other fictional character I grieved for after Meg’s Capt. Karen Emma Walden is Bullet from The Killing.

Its super late and I’m up trying to finish my SJ Bolton book. There was a time I used to finish reading so quickly and now it takes me weeks, thanks to Tv shows.

Time to sleep.
Goodnight world!

The best part of my day is my night…!!!!

Midnight coffee and chocolate munchkins with a good mystery novel. Just what I needed after a boring Monday. Its almost 230am and now im worried about tomorrow. Sleep deprived me at Gotham is not a good scene.

Silence or Music…!!!!

Wasn’t my day. I don’t feel well because of super irritating stomach issues plus some stupid biker banged into my car. Why do people keep on bumping into my car?

Sometimes I go into this phase where when I hear someone crib about life a part of me wants to ask that someone to shut up. I know sounds mean, but it’s not the lack of empathy it’s the anger. I get angry that why is it that I can’t crib out loud. I do. I crib so much and have bad mood days but I have to always come up with some sort of lies to justify my emotions. I lie if someone sees me gloomy. Why can’t I just be an honest cribber? That’s why when I hear a person talk how much life sucks, I want to just walk away or put my headphones on.

I know its mean. But some days the Hulk inside me gets so angry because all I have is lies and pretenses. I don’t know why I’m saying this. How easy life would be if I just spoke but how different my world would be.

You know what’s the saddest thing about living a lie? You can’t defend yourself when people, who love you, end up talking crap about you right in front of you. You can’t blame them because they don’t know they are making fun of you, because they don’t know you or truth about you. So you nod, agree and try to change the topic as smoothly as possible. You kill your pride, swallow the shout and continue with your Oscar level performance of being the person you aren’t.

Sorry, but I’m bitter and angry today and I blame the health. I want my dog right now, but again I can’t have him. I can’t go to a friend crying asking for a hug, for I don’t know what to say when asked about my tears. I can’t tell my mom I need to sleep next to her tonight like I used when I was a little girl; for she would end up worrying that something is wrong.

Truth be told, I just want to stay alone for a day with no one talking to me and me not pretending. Just  me, music and a little low profile silent and dull day. Just what I need. But unfortunately, I can’t get a hug or lonely day for weekend is over and I have Gotham from tomorrow.

Some days I feel so small; a tiny little leaf on a tree that would just wither and fall away one day.