French Political Prisoner with no French…!!!

It was a good weekend, because I had one of those very rare family movie day where I actually watch a movie in a theatre with my whole family. It’s a very rare phenomenon and very exhausting one but it always makes me feel a little happy, because of the very fact that we don’t do it much.

Apart from the family movie, I have had a weekend where I have spent lazy moments on my sofa with my book. Just pure laziness and book reading. I wrapped up Rose Under Fire.

This is my second Elizabeth Wein book, after reading Code Name Verity I fell in love with her writing. Rose Under Fire starts where Code Name Verity ends, so of course I was expecting to read more of Maddie but this one wasn’t about my favourite pilot Maddie, this was about another pilot who loves poetry as much as I love escaping into day dreams.

I admit, at one point when I realised it wasn’t about Maddie I felt little disappointed because a part of me still lives in page 285 of Code Name Verity but then soon I was drawn into Rose’s Ravensbrück journey.

This one is about French Political Prisoner 51498 with no French and Roza and Irina and Karolina and Lisette and Elodie and even Angel of Death Anna. My favourite scene was when they had to force Roza into that plane. Hard to believe that the worst pain in neck Roza, who wouldn’t even get scared when her name came on list, cried over a plane ride. O sweet snappy Rabbit.

O God! This was one of the most heartbreaking Concentration Camp fictions I’ve ever read. This wasn’t about Jewish prisoners; it was mostly about the other captives the political prisoners, the German criminals, the polish, the Russians and the French. The spys, the pilots, the rabbits.

I fell in love with crazy Roza, even more than the protagonist also named Rose. My heart broke when Maddie said Julie would have died there. O Julie!

Anna’s character was fiction but it wasn’t all that a story. People did terrible things in war but some of them were just unwilling participants who had no way out. Anna’s character kind of reminds me of this 93 years old Nazi guy on trail Oskar Gröning. Real story.

TELL THE WORLD

How they all longed to tell the world and even now the trail of Auschwitz SS Guard Oskar Gröning is about countering the Holocaust deniers. TELL THE WORLD.

My heart aches for the names on the wall of those camps across German captured cities.  And those who were never reported or documented or failed to get mourners because no one knew they died there. I’m just glad Eiffel Tower survived it all. My obsession with concentration camps or holocaust is largely because I feel that so many vanished and went away but no one would know their names, stories or who they were before being gassed, incinerated or shot or turned into lifeless corpse resulting starvation or diseases. Pilots, soldiers, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, grandparents, kids and just harmless sympathizers of those being erased.

I’m dating my music player..!!!!

Nothing hugs you like a beautiful song, of course this goes out to those with relationship status single and no dog…!!!!

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We are, what we are, what we always will be…Ignorant!!!!

Ignorance is what makes people with mental illness suffer more; not theirs but our ignorance towards the subject.

Why do I say that? Someone in Gotham was talking to me about BiPolar. It was a small, silly and ordinary conversation but when it was over I felt sad. Not many people know what depression or mental disorders like BiPolar, PTSD, BPD is, not that it should be a part of our school textbooks but not knowing the thing is one reason we never understand someone who actually goes through it.

For example, I have stomach issues directly caused by my messed up head and also because I was a bad eater once. Now, when I am usually in a situation where I want to avoid something for my stomach or I’m having a bad stomach day, for no reason, I often get to hear things like ‘That’s all in your head’. Dude! That always hits me below the belt. Never for once a person who knows acid reflux or anxious stomach would ever say that ‘Metal taste? Oh that’s so crazy just eat something sweet’

So, when you meet someone with mood swings, totally unexplainable, never call that person crazy or something like ‘You need a good day out’. Don’t you think that person has tried everything from good day, good song, good movie to every other effin good thing available. Some pain and hurt and sadness are not made up by that person. They are there.

Just few days back, 2-3 people around me were making fun of a guy saying things like ‘O he is so gay’. I was there, I was suppose to pitch in something and I felt so ashamed of being there and not being able to tell them how insanely insensitive and wrong it is to joke like that. I wanted to turn around say, you mister are a male whore, you lady are an effin loser and you sir are also a loser in capital letters. I didn’t. I swear I wanted to so badly but I’m a coward or more or less I’m just one of them. So, I just pretended to be busy and asked why they think he was gay and as soon as the topic shifted, I excused myself and walked away. You know, we are what we are and will always be…Ignorant.

If you and I make fun of someone’s weight, height, health, pain, moods, sexuality, color or accent, it’s not their fault…it’s our…our ignorance towards them and the thing we think is so weird about them.

P.S Just ignore my rant and enjoy this beautiful song

The Two Worlds.

Taimur wali

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Your world, which is the real world, and other worlds, the fantasy..
Worlds like this are worlds of the human imagination: their reality, or lack of reality, this is not important. What is important is that they are there. These worlds provide an alternative, provide an escape, provide a threat, provide a dream, provide refuge, and pain. They give your world meaning. They do not exist, and thus they are all that matters.

― Neil Gaiman, The Books of Magic

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Recipe of me…!!!!

Mix few glasses of anger

With little swagger,

A jar of tears

Salty yet so clear,

A spoon of awesomeness

A bag full of emotional mess

Few cups of hopelessness,

Pain and sorrow

One box each

10-12 glasses of fear

Some scream some screech,

½ a cup of fault

All the parts

Of a finely shredded heart,

Garnish it with anxiety

& breathlessness,

Pinch of stress

And perfectly cut pieces

Of facelessness

emptiness

& lies,

Stir it neatly

And you might

get it right,

The recipe

Of creating me….

 

 

 

Kiss me Hardy, Kiss me Quick…!!!!

Oh Julie, Oh Julie

I haven’t been able to get these words out of my head since last night, since I finished reading Code Name Verity. I have never cried so much over a book, never. In fact, I couldn’t manage through last 47 pages without sniffing and crying and sobbing. Page 285 broke my heart forever, I don’t think I can ever recover from it.

I remember going to bed with tears in my eyes when I finished Moon at Nine, but I don’t remember crying this bad on any book.

Oh Maddie, Oh Maddie

Elizabeth Wein has written a master piece with everything from WWII, Nazis, true friendship, time testing love, courage, revenge, death and loss, all weaved so beautifully into words that ripped through my heart. I dont know if she got enough credit for this one. I would like to tell her what a lovely piece of fiction she has given to us.

Dear Elizabeth Wein,

I have no idea if you relate more to Maddie or Julie or the poor Engel, I don’t know who was your favorite character when penning this book down, I don’t know if you cried as much as I cried when that bus was on that bridge and I don’t know if I can ever get these names and people out of my head, but I do know you have done a bloody too good a job with the story, the characters, the name, the emotion and thrill.

Just want to thank you for letting me meet Queenie and Maddie.

Just a fan of your book,

Little

If the story and drama wasn’t enough, this book has some amazing lines and oh the humour…

It’s like being in love, discovering your best friend

Till last page, I hoped, I prayed, I begged. But…Oh Maddie, Oh Maddie.

I am not good with reviews, never have written any so all I can say is that Code Name Verity is one fine piece of historical fiction with enough drama, action, pain and emotions to change your life. All I can say is READ IT, READ IT.

It was around 2 o’clock when I decided to finish this one chapter and sleep but when I reached that one page I couldn’t sleep, how could I. I knew I had to finish it now.

Fly the plane, Maddie

Even if it meant spending my Friday with my head in my hands and a burned out brain. I did spend spend my Friday like a zombie but I couldn’t help it.

I don’t know for whom I cried more for Queenie or Maddie. But I do know when Julie yelled Kiss Me Hardy, Kiss Me Quick and when Maddie  fired that shot, I was left in pieces. IMG_20150515_025602

Damn! You Nazis. In every book, you make my stomach churn but this time you went way too far. Dammit.

There 4-5 books that i would re-read again and this one goes on the top of the list.

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