Poet inside Little’s head…!!!!

Ghost of Past…!!!!

Everything that slipped

Lost, fallen

Broken

And ripped

From you

Will become

A shadow

Walking along

A sad song

For life is

No movie

Happy endings

Aren’t trending

In world of lost

And lonely

Ghost

Of ‘what if’

‘How I wish’

Never leaves

No matter

How much

You grieve

What was

Never will be

What you should

You would

Even if

It bleeds inside

Even if you hide

Ghost of once

Will haunt

Face of fate

Will taunt

You got no

Bus to catch

Stay down

Keep the frown

Or not

Play with memories

Or be played

Let them fade

Or be daggered

Deeper

Harder

Be the hero

Or take

Reality check

But you will fake

For the

Heartache

Will wreck

It all

The urge

To fly or be free

Will be…!!!!

Because she was…!!!!

Because she was born to smile,

she believed she could love too,

Because she was raised with love,

she thought she could share it too,

Because she was in love,

she thought she could live with it too,

Because she was happy,

she felt it was meant to,

Because she hadn’t met reality,

she didn’t know it could hurt too,

Because she fell so hard,

she lost the battle too,

Because love was always love,

she didn’t know it had restrictions too,

Because she believed in happy endings,

she never thought she wasn’t supposed to,

Because she can’t stop being true,

Lying is something she has to,

Because she was once a little ignorant happy girl,

she cant stop dreaming; so has to…!!!!

Love would find me, one day…!!!!

Some days I wonder

What would I say

The day

We end up

Face to face

What if by

God’s grace

You found me

And we found

Eachother

What would I say

How would I say

How I had been

Dreaming

Picturing

Of this day

Believing in you

That you

Would one day

Walk to me

To be

With me

To save me

Guard me

Protect me

But what would I say

At the moment

For which I pray

Day in day out

Every part of me shouts

For you

In search of you

What would I say

When I would want to say

That I knew you

Would come for me

Against all odds

We would meet

Even Gods

Up above

Know

I need you “Love”

I believe

In you

One day

Someday

Love would

Find me

I wonder

What would I say

At that moment

At that minute

Would I smile

For a while

Or be surprised

Or pretend

I knew the end

What would I do

When love

You would

Come for me…!!!!

A Story…!!!!

I want to

Write a story

Of me and you

I want to

Write how much

I love you

I want to

Sing for you

Dance with you

But I’m blue

Away from you

Unknown

Unaware

Of you

Of we

I can’t see

You

So

I grow

Sad

Every then

And now

Somehow

I pretend to stay

Happy & gay

I hold on to

Hopes of seeing you

It all can’t be wrong

Love can’t be

Just anti me

It’s for everyone

We all have

Someone

I have you

I’m sure

I just don’t know you

But I will do

Someday

I will write

A story of you

And me

Of us and we

I will see

Us on post cards

Sitting in a yard

Of a house

Someplace

There is grace

Am so sure

Of being yours

It’s dark now

But I know

In my heart

It’s all sunny

Someday I will say

Something funny

And you will laugh

Full or half

We will have a story

Of you and me

Of us and we

Because I will

Tell you

Tell everyone

How we met

How I won

You

How we became us

I see us

I see a story

Of not glory

Of you and me…!!!!

High Above…!!!!

Eyes so blue

Right then

Right there

I knew

I was gone

Fallen

Fallen so hard

Head over heels

Every part of me

Squeals

Even now

Don’t know how

But I think I have

Definitely, have

Fallen in love

Fallen from

High above

For her

Since then

Forever

She lives inside

My head

My heart

Is no more

In my possession

Like an obsession

She lives with me

Even with eyes closed

I see

Her

She walked

Away

‘Stay’

I told myself

Never moved

My heart

Still lives

Right there

Where

I fell

In love

I fell from

High above….!!!!

I can’t find a smile…!!!!

I can’t find a smile

So walk on the

Street

All alone, just me,

Kicking stones

Kicking dust

It feels just,

So lonely

So I walk around

Looking for

Someone

To be found,

Anyone

Carrying a hug

A smile

I can hold

Onto

I can fold

And save

In my pocket

In my heart,

Roads are empty

With hurt

Playing humpty dumpty,

So I walk some more

So sure

Of meeting

The smile

Greeting

The happiness,

I find people

I find crowd

I find laughter

But not the one

I could gather,

To make me

Smile

Not even for a while,

Looking

Staring

From one face

To another,

I search

For someone

Something

Anyone,

And then

I just want to

Stop looking

For you

I just want to

Stop waiting

For those few

Drops of goodness,

I seek

I need

I bleed

For,

Score

Goes

Love – 10

I just don’t know

When

To quit,

So I keep

Going

While I weep,

For I can’t find

A smile

Just walking

Another mile

And another,

Because

I want to

I need to

Believe it’s there

Out here

Somewhere,

So I move around

Faces i found

Still looking

But i can’t stay,

I have to go

So i take a bow

I twirl, i hum

To show them,

My sky too

Is blue

But it’s not my place

For i chase

A different face,

I can’t find a smile

Up in the hills

Down in the rivers

Weather changes

I don’t shiver,

For I’m busy

Looking

Busy walking

On a road to

You,

On a journey

That keeps growing

Another mile

And mile

For I can’t find a smile…!!!!

Never met you, but i love you, i do…!!!

Searching for you

i look around

a part of me

begs you to be found,

for i miss you

never met you

but i do,

i imagine us

you and me

spending every day

together

every season

every weather,

fighting

and falling

in love

i call your name

i dont know you

but i want to

i have met you

dreamt of you

but never seen you

or held you,

i imagine us

you and me

we

having happy times

singing in rhymes

our own love song

building our own

rights and wrongs,

i try to picture

a small place of ours

filled with cards

signed ‘All yours’,

You and me

hung on the wall in frames

smiling

hugging

kissing

like we are meant to be,

deeply

in love

high above

down in sea

everywhere

anywhere

you and i

forever

for always,

so says

my heart

that

never met you

yet

it still beats for you…!!!!

400th post & a thankyou note…!!!!

Sometimes dark

mostly blue

sharing with you

all my colors

all my days

even the voices

and the heroes

living inside me

together we

you and me

walk

talk

and make

a world

of words and memories

place i share

my worries

my darkness

the mess

and the smiles

while

i hop on

from

one day to another

winter to summer

thankyou

is for you

cant sing

but can write

to you

stay there

stay here

its a long way

of being gay

of being blue

for you and i

Its not me

we

make

littlemissobsessives’sanatomy…!!!!

To the ghost of me…!!!!

To the ghost of me

I want to be you

Not me

But it cant be

So you stay

Inside

Away from the eyes

Of people

You hide

From everyone

But I wish it wasn’t me

Walking in the sun

Smiling to those

Around

I wish it wasn’t you

Gagged and bound

Left to breathe

In silence

And darkness within me

I want to be you

I want people

To like you

The face I am

For real for true

But a shadow

You are

And will always be

And I will face the rain

The sun and moon

Colored in gloom

You will watch

From the window

Inside me

Wanting to grow

Out

Of the lies

But it will always be

Me

Colored in pretenses

Keeping you in fences

I will live

Smile and shine

Not calling you mine

While all I want to

Be

Is you

I want to hide

I want to confide

Let the world see you

And not me

But you are a dream

A story untold

A seem

That will never get unfold

To the ghost of me

I want to be you

Not me

But it can’t be….!!!!

Truly Yours…!!!!

She is ready

To explode

She is greedy

For a road

To healing

Where is the sun

She ask

The darkness

She bask

Upon

Her mess

Is bleeding her

Of every little smile

Every little hope while

She keeps walking

Into walls

Her ground

Has moved underneath

Silence is the sound

She hears

Even when she screams

Scared of dreams

She hates to sleep

So she weeps

Wondering what is wrong

Why nothing helps

Not even her favorite song

She walks she falls

She gets ups she crawls

But it’s too dark

To see ahead

She can’t feel her head

It hurts everywhere

Her eyes burn

While she hears a sobbing heart

Inside somewhere…!!!!

Not everyday…!!!!

not a soul

who knows

the pain

i go through again

& again

some nights

i fight

and then some

i lose

hugging myself

there is no word

i havent spoken

to make myself someone

im not

someone

who doesnt hurt

i carry a heart

so broken and hurt

i see everyone

looking at me

i see noone

looking at the

blues i wear

darkness i steer

finding myself on the

other side

i have cried

every now and then

wondering if and when

it wont hurt, no more

i wont feel empty anymore

today i just cant walk

voices wont talk

fallen little too harder

i cant go any further

so i lie here

telling myself

its okay to fall

its okay to bleed

hope

its okay to stop

not everyday

you can pretend

not everyday

you can fool

not everyday

not everyday…!!!!

I loved you then, love you now…!!!!

I loved you then,

I love you now

I want to stop

But don’t know how

You came and left

Like a season

Leaving me no reason

To wait for you

But I do

Like a landslide

Life brought me down

Took you from me

Left with a frown

And years of tears

I can’t wipe off my face

For you and me

Universe has no place

But I can’t let go

Of the dreams

I lived once

If only I could show

Scars and the pain

Of what I lost

And can never have again

I know

There is no happy ending

I know

I can’t go on pretending

What hurts will only grow

But I still dream of you

And me

I close my eyes to see

Us again like we were

Believing in forever

Because I did and still do

I loved you then

I love you now

I want to stop

But don’t know how…!!!!

A creature of blues…!!!!

She was born to fly

But she can’t, no more

She don’t know why

Walking around

On the ground

Every day every second

She has forgotten how

She can’t be free now

Even if its dawn

Even if darkness is gone

She has walked for long

Doing it differently

Would feel so wrong

Sunshine would hurt

A story with no excerpt

A song with no lyrics

Like magic with no tricks

Normal is not her world anymore

She would not know now

What to do and how

Living under the darkness

Burdened with her mess

She built a routine

Something she can’t clean

She fears the dawn

She wants the dawn

Like a swimmer who never swam

She fears she will drown

Lived too long to be a creature of blues

She wonders

If she can handle world bright and new

She holds on to her pain

Like it’s her umbrella under the rain

Of doubts and uncertainty

Of a life torn between

Happiness and insanity….!!!!

Darkness…!!!!

She breaks into million pieces everyday

but she knows it’s dark

when she hears every piece breaking and giving away

when without a scar pain makes a mark

but it’s the darkest

when she closes her eyes to the secrets

because she sees none

but herself all alone

she knows no love, no smile

not even for a while

she cant forget or yawn

imagining no darkness

no pain or mess

for fear never leaves her

like a heartbeat it ticks

it clicks

inside her forever

she knows no flavour

but emptiness

She knows no color

but darkness….!!!!

a suitcase & some songs…!!!!

If only I could pack

A suitcase and some songs

I would walk to where I belong,

I would sing even if I can’t

Because I will have what I want,

Though it may be a dream

I would still scream

On top of my voice

For living my choice

Even if it’s for a while,

If only I could walk a mile

With a suitcase and some songs

To happiness that felt wrong

To the people with rules

To world that calls people like me fools,

I will dance a little on the road

With nothing to carry, no more load

Of guilt of wishing to be

Nothing but me,

If only I could hitchhike

With a suitcase and some songs

With a smiley face on bike

Singing to the rules “so long”,

For I wish no more

Of the gloom I bore

For I shall smile now

Taking a bow,

If only I could just not think

And believe without a blink

There would come a day

I shall be happy and gay,

With no guilt no wrong

Just a suitcase and some songs…!!!!

She walks again…!!!!

Walking alone again

With the same pain

She looks around

There is no one to be found

She walks again

Drenching in the rain

Because she can’t smile

No more

She cant pretend for a while

So she walks again

Away from the world of sane

Trembling and shivering

She don’t know why is she crying

What happened to her?

The wind asks

She has no answer

So she walks again

Tied with a chain

Of words she can’t say

Every night every day

There is something hollow

Something that stays

Darkness or sunny days…!!!!

She has a happy place…!!!!

She is angry

But can’t tell,

She wants to stop

But all she does is swell

With so much rage

Like a bird in cage

What would she do?

She tries to think

If she got to go

Far away

To a beautiful day

She can’t move

She has nothing to prove

So she stays

Dreams and prays

She has a happy place

You are free she says

Closing her eyes

She likes to build

A world where she can fly

Where there is no word like goodbye

Tears of joys

Fills her heart

Oh boy!

She shouts

As she flies high

As she touches the sky

She know she can’t stay

At a place away

From the pain

But she likes the rain

Of happy thoughts

Even if it’s for awhile

She gets to smile

She has a happy place to go to

She whispers

You can fly and be free too

Singing alone in her cage

She calls the happy place a bandage

To hide her broken bones

Dangling and grown

Out of her control

Making her fall and roll

Here and there

Every day she tries to race

To her happy place

Every day she falls back hard

There is no escape

So she stitches dreams to give them shape

Of a world she wishes for

Of freedom she can have no more…!!!!

Be the song…!!!!

Be the song

Of my love story

Right or wrong

As  i stand here

Thinking of you forever

Every night i meet you

Fell all over again for you

Head over heels

Without you nothing feels

The same anymore

Even when i say am yours

I know we may never

Cross the same road

So we have been told

Every song i wrote

Every feeling i fought

Is because i cant let go

Because i cant show

Often i see us

Talking a walk

Sitting close to talk

Holding your hand

In my hand

I look ahead

With always a question

In my head

Would you be the song

Of my love story?

Right or wrong…

Find a way…!!!!

Find a way

I will

Back to you

To what slipped away

Before I could say

A word

I have no where

Else to go, I swear

We did walked

A good road

You were my savior I told

You this and will keep saying

I know you will come back

Something in me keeps praying

Have I lost you forever?

I didn’t meant it, never

Would I hurt you?

But I broke hearts

Yours and mine

Painted darkness over sunshine

You brought to me

Could you find a way?

To forgive me

I can’t it take back

There are untold stories on my rack

Don’t give me another chance

Because I would do the same dance

Sing the same song

Would not undo the wrong

I have no other way to go

But I want you to know

I love you so

I wish you could look at me again

Make it go away, the pain

Buried deep seeping out

In silence I shout

In darkness I bleed

From my eyes & try to hide

If only I had you by my side

Would you turn back?

Smile and hold me for once

I don’t need a chance

But I might need a hand

Like waves on sand

I’m slipping away

To you, I wish I could

Find a way….!!!!

I’m so yours, proudly so….!!!!

I refuse to let go of you

I refuse to admit there is no you

You are somewhere

Waiting for me to come to you

Someday we will walk together

Like songbirds in love forever

I will have you by my side

I will not pretend or hide

I refuse to believe in darkness

Or colour life with blackness

Someday i will wake up to you

Sun will rise and show

Me to you

Someday the emptiness

Will wash away and go

Someday i will say

I’m so yours, proudly so…!!!!

A little longer…!!!!

Like a leaf gone dead

She falls, falls down

Day & Night

She plays a soldier, in her fight

Wounded by silence

Of no one

Walking beside her

She says “just a little longer”

Lying to every muscle in her bone

Not admitting it’s all gone

The battle is lost

It’s time to fall, almost

Screaming in a choked voice

“No surrender”

She has no choice

It’s all about waiting a little longer

She murmurs

Begging herself to be stronger

She has no reasons to continue

She has no reasons to give up

Seeing no shadow

Makes her stop

There is no one and nowhere to go

But like a paper blown

In the wind

She moves forward to a destiny unknown

A little longer is all she sings

As silence is all that rings

A lonely cloud in the sky

She has many questions all starting with “why”….!!!!

Like a cosmic star…!!!!

Even as I try to hide

Run away

I can’t help but abide

By the pull you have on me

There are no strings i see

Yet I can’t move a step

Away

Every gush of wind is whisper,

A word you say

Calling my name

Asking me to do the same

After every day every fight

I walk to you

Like a twilight

I’m stuck in your shadow

There is a wait that grows

Can’t see you

Yet feel you

Standing next to me

Softly telling me

To not walk away

To believe to stay

Where are you?

I ask you

Like a fog you come & go

I know

One day you will stand

Staring right at me

With hand in hand

We will be

Till then I struggle

Betting every cent & nickel

You are out there

Somewhere

Like a cosmic star

So near so far

Till then I fight darkness

Open every jar labelled happiness

To search for you

Find my way to you

There is a quest

I won’t stop even in dust

And storm of doubts

Every heart beat shouts

for you

Where are you?

Like a cosmic star

So near so far…..!!!!

She takes a roller coaster ride…!!

Walking alone in a lonely street

She kicks at everything at her feet

Walking with her head down

She sees a shadow

A beautiful pony ready to go

She looks in vain

Hopping on she smiles again

She rides away from moon

In search of her sun, her dawn

She sings out loud

Feeling wind through her hair

She claps her hand she she doesn’t care

Everything feels so good so fine

Like she is on cloud nine

In her there is a shine

Like a lightning bolt

She rides away from her darkness

Taking hands of a strange happiness

She knows all she has is the moon

She knows every turn brings her back

To her gloom

Yet she rides on

Before she wakes up & the dream is gone

To world she smiles

Like a firefly she flies

Like a firework she shines

Until the wind is gone

The darkness comes back on

Tongue tied she jumps down

Smiling hard to cover her frown

She walks again in the moon light

Reminding herself there is a battle to fight..!!

A box of Hug…!!!!

And I look for you

Everywhere in darkness and blue

In every face I try to see you

Maybe a one or two

You can help me

You can stop

the tears that wont let me see

But I find you nowhere

In my world you are extinct

Like a bird so rare

So nice so good

Like you should

But I don’t have you

Never wanted you

So bad

So much so hard

For once just come to me

My emotions are wild waves in sea

I envy people who have you

Who don’t have to search for you

If only you came in a small box

Would fill you in pockets and socks

If you came in bottle

Would drink and not tell

But you are not here

Not anywhere

I beg for you some nights

You are not to be found

Not around

Not in my sight

So I pretend I have you

I pretend I don’t need you

I say I have too much pride

I try to smile and hide

How much I need

How much I greed

Where can I find you?

Is there is a place I can buy you?

Maybe I can walk up to

the store and say

“Hello there

Can I have a box of hug to take away”…!!!

 

Dont…!!

Don’t kiss me goodnight

Don’t wave me goodbye

Let’s spend the night

Dancing and watching the sky

Take my hand

Let’s walk on the sand

There is a sea

There is you and me

Don’t just go away

Don’t just hug and say

‘You will miss me’

Let me follow you a little more

Let me sing “I’m yours”

Don’t just let the night end

Don’t say we are just friends

I know you like me too

I see you stealing a glance too

Let’s dance under the stars

Let me fill this moment in a jar

Don’t just put on the coat

Let me built us a boat

Let’s just row away

In the night till it’s another day

Don’t just tell me “see you again”

Sit down maybe it’s going to rain

We have all the time tonight

Let the pain take a flight

Lie down next to me

Look at me

Don’t just believe it’s over now

I have a story to tell

Of when I fell in love with you n how…!!!!

We fell accidentally in love…!!

Once upon a time

We fell accidentally in love

I said “I love you”

You said “Me Too”

We got married

We ran away

To happiness we flew

Like birds with new found wings

Of world we became

Queen and king

Once upon a time

We fell accidentally in love

I said “I love you”

You said “Me Too”

We went around

The world

With new happiness found

Every tree was dancing

Every flower was smiling

Suddenly there was colour everywhere

Here and there

Once upon a time

We fell accidentally in love

I said “I love you”

You said “Me Too”

We threw everything

You made stars looked

Like nothing

Love we wrote on our hands

Love we wrote on the sand

Once upon a time

We fell accidentally in love

I said “I love you”

You said “Me Too”

We hugged, we kissed

We danced, we sang

We laughed, we cried

Every day every night

It was all about you and me

Nothing else we could see

Never felt so free

Once upon a time

We fell accidentally in love

I said “I love you”

You said “Me Too”….!!!

Everything I do has a reason, except loving you…!!!!

I love you but its okay

Because I will never say

You once asked me to

Write something about you

I have been doing it

I have been saying it

Only you don’t know

And I will never show

I don’t know why I do

But I love you

I am okay

I would like to say

But I guess I lie a lot

Your love is a knot

I’m tied to

There is no reason

But I still love you

You used to sing songs

I used to roll my eyes along

Truth is I loved it

I wish I could say it

Sometimes I find you

In a similar face

In someone who smiles like you

In someone with eyes like you

It stops my heart

Even though I know

We have grown apart

You have gone

And I am all alone

But I still love you

No reason

I just do…!!

Sometimes i take a walk backwards…!!!!

I have been doing it a lot

Taking a walk back

Like going through a book

From the memory rack

I think of days spent together

Walks in rainy weather

For some reason

I remember every season

Lived with you

Lived loving you

If only I could see

The wall with names

Of you and me

Thinking of us makes me smile

Even if it’s for a while

We were crazy and in love

When I think too much

Reality turns into a dagger

There is no pain bigger

Than your absence

Knowing we won’t be same

Even for once

But I still don’t mind

Talking a walk back

Raising the curtain to peek behind

Sometimes I feel you around

Sometimes I hear the sound

I know you don’t live there

Not anymore

But I see it like it was

Everything like it was

I dream of you and I

Under the same old sky

Walking hands in hands

Making same prints on sand

Its strange how I can feel

Just the same

By whispering your name

Sometimes I take a walk back

To the bench we sat on

The day changes turned on

We sat in silence

Life felt on a fence

You told me

The way it has to be

I told you I can’t I wont

You smiled

I could feel tears

You were trying to hide

You walked away

There was nothing to say

We were young

We had a song

Not anymore

Nothing like before

I walk back to what’s gone

To the happiness not known

Anymore…!!!!

There is a dream…!!!!

There is a dream

Inside of me

Like a wind chime

It sings to me

Someday

Far away

I will walk

With no rock

Tide to me

I will be free

Somewhere, someplace

Lives a face

With smiles

Together we will walk

Million miles

Someone

The one

A heartbeat

Waiting to greet

A love song

That will not go wrong

There is a dream

Of you

One day

I will find you…!!

Bounded & gagged….!!

She struggles with the chains

Bounded, gagged & in pain

She cant walk out of it

But she can still dream of it

She closes her eyes

Smiling, she know she will rise

One day she will find you

One day she will be all new

She cries out loud

As no one has found

She waits little more

Chained, her hands are red and sore

She knows its not over

Not yet

Bounded & gagged

She is dragged

In & out of reality

She lives in a trance

Only place she gets to dance

Like she wants

Is it dawn yet? Is it?

She asks again & again

Bounded, gagged & in pain…!!!!

Like a falling star…!!

Like a falling star

I come down

They see the light & shine

None remembers the crash

That follows

Like a broken star

I spill on to the dust

Pieces scattered near & far

You are a star they say

You can’t cry, they say

I don’t glide, I fall

Pain hurts, no matter how small

Like a disown star

I move away from sky

But none asks me why

Because at the end I’m still a star

You don’t belong here

The stones feel it’s not fair

Like a dying star

I skid down

But still can’t see anyone

To call my own

What reason do you have?

To call yourself like us

The crushed leaves ask

Leaving me restless

Like a bright star in flames

I roll down

Every welcome I get is a frown

Everything sad & broken

Despises me for no reason

They say, you are a star

You can’t feel the cracks and scar

Like a falling star I come crashing down

Not belonging to the glittering sky

& the land so brown…!!

I Hide…!!!!

I hide from everyone

People i know

And people i don’t know

I hide from the ghost i have become

The darkness turned on

I hide from you

The truth too

Where do i go now?

Wish i could just tell you all

But i don’t know how

I hide from the girl I’m now

I hide from the girl i was once

Behind the walls & fences

The face of everyday

One day i will tell, one day

But today i hide

I sit in the corner, deep inside

My heart with no one around

I wish to be found

I wish to end the game

But i hear no one looking, calling my name

So i hide

From the tide

I hide

Because you are not by my side…!!

Clouds on the sky…!!!

So blue and white

Like faces smiling at every sight

Clouds on the sky

Where have you come from?

Will you stay or

will you fly away?

Are you alone?

Or is the rain following you?

I won’t mind some droplets, just few would do

The sand needs to get wet

The wind needs to get settled

I can smell the air

Mysterious like a beautiful affair

Music can be heard too

Thunderstorm a mile away or two

Turning black and dark

Like a shape of an arc

Clouds on sky

Tell me where have you come from?

Were you welcomed there?

Like i am doing here?

Did the birds sing for you?

And the squirrels jumped high to reach you?

I can’t sing or dance

But i see you

And smile for you

Please stay a little, let it rain

Let the sun play hide and seek today

Let the trees go green and gay

Will it rain? O will it rain?

I can already feel myself singing

Your farewell song, ‘please come back again’

Clouds on Sky…!!!

What’s my diagnosis?

What’s my diagnosis?

I ask the wind

I ask the sun & moon

What’s wrong with me?

Tell me why the tears come

Tell me why I go numb

One moment I am blue

Thinking of you

Very next I smile

Thinking of our journey & the happy miles

What’s my diagnosis?

I ask the stars

Why do I lie awake at night?

Why voices in my head fight

Why can’t I simply lie dead till morning?

Why can’t I sleep without dreaming?

What’s my diagnosis?

I ask the people on the road

I ask the trees and sign boards

Why do I drive with questions & answers?

Why do I count seconds and hours?

What happened to the standard talking?

When I used to say out loud ‘Good Morning’

What’s my diagnosis?

I ask the face in my mirror

I ask the shadow I see on the screen

Why do I walk & talk like somebody else

Why the voices are so mean

Why do I pretend & grin?

When I just want the silence to win

What’s my diagnosis?

I ask myself

I ask books on my shelf

Why can’t I pick you up?

Why have I given up?

Myself to the music

It feels ages

Since I touched

The bundle off unopened pages

What’s my diagnosis?

I ask you

As I take a walk in memories

A time, when I couldn’t spell worries

Why do I feel empty?

Why do I feel nothing?

Where have you gone?

When did we move on?

Started walking on different roads

Every day to everyone, to everything I ask this

Tell me what’s wrong

What’s my diagnosis?

A confession to make..!!

I have a confession to make

But some news are hard to break

I have a song in my head

It talks about you and me with hands in hand

There is a picture in my eyes

Its a portrait of your smiles

I like to do things you do

Even when I know there is no me & you

You say we are friends

I say we are whatever you want us to be

Sometimes I wonder what you would do

If I tell you that I love you

Sometimes I plan of walking up to you

With a flower and letter for you

I have a confession to make

But some news are hard to break

Its not what you would say to me

Its not what you would call me

Its seeing you tear down the castle I built

The dream I designed

I often find myself with a paper and pen

With letters “Dear you”

Then I crush them and play “throw at bin”

The voices tell me maybe you like me too

Maybe I should believe in “maybe you do”

I cant possibly walk up to you

Tell you, hurt you

And see you walk away on what we have now

How will I live with it, how?

Sometimes you get angry when I dont show up

Sometime you hit me for being not around

I wish I could tell you Im always there

Even you are all alone and there is no one to be found

I have a confession to make

But some news are hard to break

I wish to sing a song to you

Rhyme words like love you, for you

Words like you are mine, sunshine

I want to use the cliché “I like like you”

If I love you is too big for you

Maybe someday I will tell you a secret

Someday I will give you all those letters in my basket

Till then I sit with you

As you hold my hand and talk of things you would like to do..!!

Dear You..!!

Dear you,

I wanted to write to you

Tell you & talk to you

Would have started with how are you?

Maybe even asked about the weather

And moved on to small talks

Asking you

If you remember all those evening walks

Do you still have all those songs I wrote

All those gifts for you, I bought

How’s your work going on?

Do you still stop at that coffee shop?

Then I would have told you

That our goldfish is doing fine

I take care of the plants too

That I clean the table, just like you

Are you happy my love?

Is what I have asked you then

Because that’s why I took up this paper and pen

You are missed

How much is difficult to say

Probably its beyond simple words

But you are missed every second of everyday

Do you remember the first time we met

Or the first time we talked

Writing to you, I don’t know if it’s wise

I smile thinking of memories

While tears flows from my eyes

I would have added and struck out things like

Rain still reminds me of you

Summer is dull without you

Winters are colder in absence of you

Because I remember you always never smiled at it

Even when you loved my singing to you

Down the road there is a new pizza corner now

You would have been thrilled at this and said

“Lets go now”

Did I wrote you this before

That now I like every painting of yours

Probably it’s too late

Probably I should have looked at them before

I found a picture of ours from Christmas

You look beautiful with your red Santa cap

Even in the happy days we stood apart, with a gap

Where was I when you were here?

Where I was I when you were near?

Now I walk into empty rooms looking for you there

Sometimes I dream of you walking in from the front door

Telling me you have forgiven me,

Telling me I’m still yours

Things went down even before I could see

You walked away before I could see

Maybe I lost you for your good

Maybe everything happened the way it should

I don’t know if I will be writing this letter to you

I don’t know if you will read it before you tear in into two

But I know why I wanted to write to you

There was something to remind you

You left me broken and walked away with something of mine

You have what taught me to smile and shine

You are the love I loved, still do

You are the smiles I had

Come back to me, please do

Like always I miss you

Come back to me, please do

For always I will love you…!!

Would you still love me?

If I tell you all of it, would you still love me?

If I took off my faces, would you still love me?

I want no Cinderella story

I want no fame no glory

As long as you take me

As long as you still let me

Be yours

Be what I’m

If I tell you what I want, would you still love me?

If I tell you I have a dream, would you still love me?

I walk alone

But it’s OK

I laugh alone

But it’s OK

Just don’t give up

Just don’t, don’t say it’s enough

I can talk slowly

There is nothing I wouldn’t give for you, only

If you see the tears in my eyes, would you still love me?

If I be honest, would you still love me?

I wont ask for anything

Just listen and do nothing

Hug me if you can

Or just stare hard if you want

But don’t walk away

Don’t turn us into a picture old and grey

If I say i would make the same mistake, would you still love me?

If I ask you to not stop me, would you still love me?

I Do…!!

You are a song stuck in my mind

I just cant stop smiling

As we stand side by side

When i first saw you

I always pictured this day

When i would be thinking nothing but you

I don’t know what fate is

I don’t know what love is

But i do know what this is

Right here right now

As we look at each other, i know

I will never let you cry

I will never let you go away

Every breath i take

Every day i live

Is for you and will be yours

You are in my dreams

You have become my reality

Like a song in mind that i play again and again

Like my heartbeat and blood in my veins

Let me hold your hand

As at this altar we stand

I do not promise to be your better half

No i don’t, cause you are perfect yourself

But i do

I do love you

I promise to be the one

Who would give up dreams to build yours

Who would walk behind

So its easy for happiness to find

you first & always you before me

I promise to love everything you love

So you never have to decide

Deep blue sea

In your eyes i see

Everything you ask me for and want me from

Would be taken as an order

Would be considered as an honour

Like a love song

Your smiles ring inside me, on and on

Yes i would marry you

Yes i love you

Even when we haven’t met i knew you

I have written letters to you

Sung songs for you

Because  i knew you

i dreamt of you

Of a day when i would be standing here

With 3 most powerful words in the world

Life brought you to me

Let me take you ahead, let me be

The one you walk to

In happiness, in tears, when you are blue

Let me be

The one who walks with you

For the rest of your life

Let me be there for you

Yes “I do”…!!

You & I

I see you sad

Walking with a frown

Your head tiled down

I know there is nothing i can say

Or do to make it go away

So i walk with you

As i think of what to do

I take you to the beach

Somewhere with no city

Somewhere out of reach

I try to sing for you

You don’t look up as you keep walking

I make everyone join me too

I make everyone surround you

Singing and dancing all around you

You smile a little and dance a step or two

With another smile you take a bow

Soon everyone walks away happy

But your smile goes back to the frown

I continue telling you stories

You kick every stone on your way

I look left right and far way

Leaving you alone i run

You don’t look at me, not a single glance, none

Even before you can look up again

I’m back with your favourite ice-cream cone

Dozens of balloons each one

Tied to me

You look up, you look at me

And then you smile again, as you see

I walk with you loaded with balloons

While you enjoy your cone

I think of something to do, soon

I still see you sad, but you try your best to hide

I walk towards the tide

The water is calm and silent today

With balloons still ready to fly me away

I get into the water and take a swim

You can’t see me but can see the colors yellow, red, blue, green

You sit down and stare at the balloons in the air

As i float and swim like a boat in a low gear

I look up to see if you smiled

To look if this one was big and wide

‘Now what?’ i ask myself as i come out

Wet and cold i tell myself “at least i tried”

I walk up to you with no more balloons

Many of them floating away in the sea

Many of them fallen on the footstep of you and me

You stand up, you wave to me

Then you hug me

I look into your eyes and i see the lines gone

The shine is back a little

You want me to sit down with you

You take my hand, as you look at the sea

With a whisper “i love you too”

You make me forget to breathe…!!!

I love you..!!

I’m in love with you

I wish I could sing it to you

Or scream out loud for you

But you won’t hear me

You don’t even know me

We meet every day at your favorite coffee shop

We have same coffee sitting across each other

I know you love to read

I know you like Beatles

Sometimes you look at me

Without even knowing, you smile at me

I have often seen you crying on phone

Wish I could tell you how much it hurts

To see tears in those eyes, so big & brown

I know your name

But I don’t know if you’ll ever know mine

Sometimes I think of going to you

Talking to you

Telling you what your beautiful eyes & smile do to me

Telling you, with you there in front of me

There is nothing else I can see

But I know I can’t

You are someone else to be

So I do what I can

I have coffee with you

We don’t even talk

But sometimes with you & I take a walk

Everyday I wait for you

Every day I say good morning to you

Do you know that you & I have a song?

We both love it when the jukebox plays it on

We both love to take the sky in fall

You never told me

But I hear you talking to me

As we share our coffee sitting across the shop

Maybe one day you will see me

Maybe one day I will walk up to you

Maybe one day I will say “I love you”

Till then I will wait for you every morning

At the same coffee shop

Till then I will have my coffees with you

Keep on loving you

Every day you walk in to my life smiling

Every day you make my world bright & shining

If only you knew me

If only you knew what you do to me

How your laugh makes world a better place

I wish I could tell that your frown

Turns every color grey & brown

I believe I could tell you

That you make colors look beautiful

That every love song was written for you

Everyday I live for 30 minutes

Every day you make me better than I was before

There is nothing I wouldn’t give to talk to you

Or let you know that “I’m yours”

I feel you in my heart

I feel you when you aren’t around

I don’t know if I will ever get to sing my love to you

I don’t know if you ever walk up to me and not just pass by

But I do know this

Ever day i write a poetry to you

and i don’t know why but

I love you…!!

It was a terrible rain…!!

Blocked all thoughts,

Locked all doors,

Painted every window in blackness

She is now a prisoner of her own moment of darkness

She needs to break free

She needs to see

Where is the wind of hope?

Where is the “no surrender” shop?

It’s time to talk a walk

Time for her to open and talk

She can’t find her friends ‘words’

Everything seems so absurd

How can she stop and rest before the dawn?

She tells the voices to not to worry and frown

It was a terrible rain

But not everything has gone in vain

She will smash the doors and windows

She will not let the voices die

She like colours

She loves trees & flowers

No matter how dark it is

She still loves lighting candles

She will stand up because she has to

Not yet, someday when there is nothing else to do

Not yet, not before she has some faith inside

It was a terrible rain

But not everything has gone in vain

She knows words will come back

She knows she can wash the paintings ruined in black

She will rise & walk

She will struggle & drag

But she won’t let the voices die

“No”, she whispers as she sigh

It was a terrible rain

But not everything has gone in vain

She walks…!!!

She is walking down on a dark street

With a secret in her pocket to keep

She feels heavy and can’t no more stand on her feet

No one is looking at her

Excuse me can you help? Help me sir, she asks

“I’m reality” and i want no part of you

She walks away with her head down

Looking for someone who could fix her

She walks broken and tired

Keeping a secret is tearing her

Her shadow follows her, mocking her

She wonders how far the end of the tunnel is

She wonders what happens when its dawn

Will it be all sunshine and her darkness gone?

How long has she been walking like this?

Can she learn to walk without heaviness inside?

Will she learn how to held her head high and not hide?

Questions add another ton of weight on her

It’s so lonely and silent, i wish i was a good singer

She tries to joke and laugh on her on

Stars and moon accompany her

But, she still can’t find someone to help or share

She looks at those walking straight and free

She sits and breathes a little

There is light on the horizon yet no hope

Sometimes she sees a soul or two

Walking slow and with their eyes looking down

Hello, how are you?

“I’m the pain” and you want no part of me

She smiles sympathetically at them and walks ahead

Maybe she isn’t alone, but she still has a journey to cover

She waves and continues walking

She wonders what if she spills her pocket?

What if she get rid of the secret?

Voices tell her against

She closes her eyes and whispers “walk a little”

Maybe the next turn is her place to settle

Maybe the next turn will give her

A life with no heaviness

A place she can sing love & happiness

Maybe the next turn will be dawn

Till then she walks with an invisible load

She walks with her head down…!!!!

The girl in red…!!!!

Who was she?  The girl in red

She moved swiftly and softly

Who was she? The girl in red

She had a smile I never saw before

Her eyes kept me hooked

And I wanted to look at her more and more

Was she new in the town?

Or did I just never looked at her before, I frowned

Big blue eyes

Took my breath away

So big and beautiful I wish I could say

Wish I could walk up to her and ask her out

She had the most amazing laugh

Broke me into half

Who was the man with her?

Who was that guy who didn’t even looked at her?

Wish I could ask her for a dance

Would it make a difference?

Suddenly everyone was a prop

She was all I could see and

There was nothing I could do, I just couldn’t stop

Of course, I was being a fool

Falling for a girl so beautiful

Who was she?

The girl in red

I liked the way she played with her wine and bread

I envied the waiter taking her order

Why couldn’t I get to be there?

Staring at her magical eyes and talk to her

She was hugging her girl friend

Who was she the girl in red?

Suddenly, I wished I was that banjo player

Sitting across her table playing music for her

She was trying her best to enjoy her company

Something told me she was distracted and little unhappy

If only i could sing a song for her

If only we could twirl

Who was that man with her?

There was a rose on her table

I would have gotten her hundreds of them

I would have done better than him

Of course, I was dreaming and would woke up soon

Or else, this was an evening I never wanted to end

I was no longer capable of doing anything else

But make a sketch of her in my mind

She was work of art

There she was sitting few tables away from me

And, all I could do was keep looking keep staring

Soon he would pay the bill and take her away

Soon she would become my reason to pray

Everyday I would come back to this place

Hoping someday she would come back

Everyday I would prepare a speech to talk to her

Hoping someday she would be there

Who was she, the girl in red?

Suddenly she was standing next to me

Suddenly we were all alone and together

She was laughing again, talking again

I looked at her into her blue eyes

Who was she?

The girl in red

I just couldn’t take her out of my head

Who was she?

Standing next to me

I was taking her with me

Her memory, the way she blinked and the way she laughed

You are in love with a dream my friend, I said

Who was she?

The girl in red…!!!

Don’t give in now, don’t give up now..!!

Keep walking some more

Let me hold your hands

Smile a little more

I know it hurts, I know it all

When the world seems all blue

When everyone you love is standing far from you

Have some faith, have some strength

Close your eyes and follow life

Don’t give in now, don’t give up now

Let me hold you

Let me save you

When everything is dark, when everyone hurts

Smile a little more

Walk a little more

Let me tell you

You are not alone, you are loved too

Don’t give in now, don’t give up now

When silence is all your hear

Don’t surrender my dear

When pain flows down your face

Smile big and keep your grace

You know it’s not true

You know I’m with you

Take it all you want, but don’t let go

Let me carry you home

Don’t give in now, don’t give up now

When it feels that no one gets it

When it feels like everyone is laughing at you

Let me hold you and tell you

You are not alone, you are loved too

Don’t give in now, don’t give up now..!!

Let Me…

Let me smile for you when it hurts,

Let me cry for you when it hurts,

Let me hang around when you are busy,

Let me stand by you when you don’t need me,

Let me sing for you when life seems still,

Let me paint for you when you see nothing but blue,

Let me be your diary when your heart is heavy,

Let me be your loneliness when you need to be on your own,

Let me break your fall when you lose control,

Let me gift you all the happiness,

Let me take all the doubts and pain,

Let me be the candle in room when you pray for the sunshine,

Let me be the hand you hold on to when scared of falling,

Let me be the pillow you bury your face into when in tears,

Let me be the punching bag you need to take out the anger,

Let me be the show piece in the room you can’t do without,

Let me be the memories you love to go back to,

Let me be there for you,

Let me live for you, with you…!!!!!!!!!!

It wasn’t meant to be…..

Some stories aren’t meant to be

Like you and me

It wasn’t raining the day you left me

I couldn’t hide behind the rain drops

Every tear that came down was seen

You were there every night every day

I still see us on top of those hills

You and me walking on those streets

Waking up next to you

Teasing you with “i hate you”

What happened to all those dreams we built

Walking together, laughing together

Fighting only to cry and be sorry together

I can’t be yours, you can’t be mine

but every moment is still alive and will be there forever

i still live with you in my dreams

i still live where you left me

Sometimes i see through a crowd and see you there,

Standing in a corner smiling at me

Maybe, we weren’t destined to be

But, i could never say goodbye

i could never let go of what we had

Do you too sometime dream of the place, where we last met?

It was wrong yet felt so perfect

I may die someday without letting you know

That i love you so

But it wouldn’t make it less true

Because right or wrong, i cant and will never stop loving you

If you ever lose me

Find me in memories

I don’t need a picture of you, to miss you

I never needed you to tell me, you love me too

Remember me is all i ask for

Even if am just a friend of yours

What i had with you was real

There are no words to describe what i felt and i what i still feel

Every second of everyday we were together

You may walk away, but i will be with you everywhere

How can i say i don’t believe in angels?

When i have been following one every where

Often, i wonder what would you do and i do it too

Everything you loved reminds me of what i don’t have

Every song i love is somewhat talking about you

Where have you gone?

Wish there was something i could have done

Nevertheless, you are loved till the last second of me is left

Till there is a sun and a moon

I can’t get you stars, can’t even get you a flower

Cause you are not there

But i still love you

Don’t ever believe i don’t

If you ever come back looking for me

I would be standing just where you found me!!

Love…!!

Wish I could show u my definition of love

But I rather sing it to you

Writing letters may be little too much for you

So I rather put it in a melody

You are what I need every day instead of my coffee

I rather sit with you than go travel cause you are my world

When I say I love you

When I say you’re all I have in name of happiness

It’s more than a song

Let’s walk together on a beach

Or we can dance and jump on my bed

Believe me I don’t know what love is

I can only sing about it

You are like my bouquet of fresh lilies

Only I can’t stop looking beyond you

You make me sing clichés like everything I do is for you

Yet it’s not far from truth

I want to buy you everything you want, but are confused about

I want to do everything that makes you laugh

I want to look at you when you are not noticing

Sometimes you walk right through me, making me invisible

Sometimes you look at me like u look another individual

I wish I wasn’t like this

I wish I knew what this is

So I sing a song

Don’t know if it’s right or wrong

You’re my dose of fresh air and I want to hear you talk all day long

Every day you leave me saying so long now

I look down count to 3 and say “wow o wow”

Please make it stop

Whatever is this?

I wish I wasn’t like this

I m singing again for you

Like I did before

I can’t define love but I can play it on guitar for you

You are my summer and my winter

I wouldn’t be wrong if I say you’re my rains and my fall

Love has always been a movie theme to me

I don’t know how to let you know what you mean to me

Often, when I see you cry it’s difficult to explain why I cry

Sometimes I try to walk away, but I come back to where I started from

It’s like my world is a circle drawn around you

I guess am hopelessly in love with you…!!!

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One thought on “Poet inside Little’s head…!!!!

  1. Pingback: Blogger or Blabber? Who cares, its frekn 600th post…Yay | Little miss obsessive's anatomy!!

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