Have you ever had a roller-coaster ride where instead of enjoying every moment of it, you ended up fighting fears and sadness of it coming to an end? Last two days were like a joyride for me, except there was more than joy, there was a nice cocktail of emotions rushing through my veins.
It started with excitement, so much of it that it took good number of hours to sink in the realization that it was happening. Then, while I was at a good place, i couldn’t overlook the fact that this wasn’t going to last… that in couple of hours everything will come to halt and the rush, happiness and tears of joy would all vanish. I ended up being two people at one time, one was asking me to live the moment and forget the climax while the other one was reminding me to not to get lost in the two-day sunshine in a dull grey life. It took a whole one day for me to convince the voices in my head to fck off and let me live.
But till then it was too late, just when I was finally cherishing the ride I realised it was coming to an end…everything was slowing down, the wind was still again and it was cloudy again. But am happy for the sun, am happy for the ride and for turmoil of emotions I went through, reminded me that there is more to life than judging self and debating with inner voices.
Now that I’m out of the roller-coaster ride and walk back where i stood earlier, i am pursued by both the angel and devil inside me debating about life and experience… i just want to tell them both to back off and let me be…!!
Some joyrides have to be earned … and i did…