We are, what we are, what we always will be…Ignorant!!!!

Ignorance is what makes people with mental illness suffer more; not theirs but our ignorance towards the subject.

Why do I say that? Someone in Gotham was talking to me about BiPolar. It was a small, silly and ordinary conversation but when it was over I felt sad. Not many people know what depression or mental disorders like BiPolar, PTSD, BPD is, not that it should be a part of our school textbooks but not knowing the thing is one reason we never understand someone who actually goes through it.

For example, I have stomach issues directly caused by my messed up head and also because I was a bad eater once. Now, when I am usually in a situation where I want to avoid something for my stomach or I’m having a bad stomach day, for no reason, I often get to hear things like ‘That’s all in your head’. Dude! That always hits me below the belt. Never for once a person who knows acid reflux or anxious stomach would ever say that ‘Metal taste? Oh that’s so crazy just eat something sweet’

So, when you meet someone with mood swings, totally unexplainable, never call that person crazy or something like ‘You need a good day out’. Don’t you think that person has tried everything from good day, good song, good movie to every other effin good thing available. Some pain and hurt and sadness are not made up by that person. They are there.

Just few days back, 2-3 people around me were making fun of a guy saying things like ‘O he is so gay’. I was there, I was suppose to pitch in something and I felt so ashamed of being there and not being able to tell them how insanely insensitive and wrong it is to joke like that. I wanted to turn around say, you mister are a male whore, you lady are an effin loser and you sir are also a loser in capital letters. I didn’t. I swear I wanted to so badly but I’m a coward or more or less I’m just one of them. So, I just pretended to be busy and asked why they think he was gay and as soon as the topic shifted, I excused myself and walked away. You know, we are what we are and will always be…Ignorant.

If you and I make fun of someone’s weight, height, health, pain, moods, sexuality, color or accent, it’s not their fault…it’s our…our ignorance towards them and the thing we think is so weird about them.

P.S Just ignore my rant and enjoy this beautiful song

Tied with invisible rope…wish i could stand up…!!!!

Today I feel sad and ashamed at being the person I have to pretend to survive among people with closed minds. There is nothing worse than being a part of a conversation you don’t support, but can’t let others knows…so you smile, nod and pretend to understand.

This woman in my office comes to me with a gossip and cracks joke about a topic am not comfortable talking about, but there is nothing I can do so I pretend to blend in. Whereas, all I wanted to do was tell her to get a life. I wanted her to stop being a freakin loser and stop meddling with what others do.

This has happened a lot, so many times now and today only made me realise the truth behind the world I live in. Its like im in a war only i cant fight to defend my honor. I know she was making fun of someone else but she didnt know how much it was all coming back to  me. I’m angry but its okay, I m used to it.

To make my day worst I get a huge, like huge, bill from my mobile company and the nice lovely people have charged me for my internet usage despite my asking them for an internet usage saving pack. My bill says I had no pack activated so everything I did on my phone was costing me. Man I could have done decent shopping in that money but now I have to pay them. I plan to visit them tomorrow and talk them, I know it won’t help but at least I can take out my anger. Well, to be honest I am taking my friend as I can hardly scream on anyone. Oh! how I wish I could.

I have to go to my book because I’m sad, angry, ashamed and so blue. Why can’t we have a world with no hatred, no judgements, no mocking, no discrimination and no MORONS?

Goodnight World!

P.S I have been given two blog award nominations. Will thank you my friend tazeinmirzasaad soon. Thankyou.