Don’t be a hero. You’re my person. I need you alive. You make me brave.

Spoiler Alert – Finales for both Grey’s Anatomy and Castle have left me speechless.

I’m going to miss Christina Yang and the team Christina&Meredith.  These two remind me of Monica & Rachel, only these are  are kind of darkly, crazy and twisty but the friendship is so true, so beautiful and so strong that makes me believe in the word. The dark and twisted sisters were a big part of the show and now things are going to change with the departure of one of them. At least this time the writers didn’t kill the character but the farewell was way too emotional.

I couldn’t stop crying at-

Don’t be a hero. You’re my person. I need you alive. You make me brave.

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Its been a year now…!!!!

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Last year on this day i lost my Snowy and it kind of has affected me so much that i, some days, dream that he is back. I know some people dont think losing a pet is a loss big enough, but for me it is. I met him when i was this young little teenager, a school girl, and we both grew up together.

13 years of togetherness, 13 years of coming home to his happy face, 13 years of him dragging me out of my bed ever morning, 13 years of him sleeping at the corner of my bed, 13 years of my talking to him about life when no one was around, 13 years of him and me being best friends, 13 years of him running away from bath with shampoo all over him and me running around the house trying to get him back to the bath, 13 years of him staring at me with those big black eyes every time i had a chocolate in my hand, 13 years of he and me playing Hide n Seek at home with him being confused when i would call his name and hide and not to be found….

13 years of every day and night being around. He was family and it hurts to not see him around, it hurts to go through a whole year knowing its not a dream. He died right in front of me, he was sick and in pain. That one month i didn’t sleep well because i would get up at night to check up on him. because i was worried and scared, because he was unwell.

He was my savior. I don’t think i can ever get over this pain.

I don’t think anyone knows what this day means to me, how much it hurts to think of this day, how hard it has been to keep this one memory deep inside and locked.

I miss coming home and calling his name…every evening i would just open the door and say “Tippy im home”…

Meg Meg Meg….!!!!

So as you know I’m a sleep deprived monster who can turn into hulk or crying baby anytime, thus i have decided to call it a night. But before i go let me tell you how awesome the day was, first i get to meet one of my best friends after along time and i get a collection of all….wait for it….MEG RYAN movies.

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Yes, you heard it right she burned 5-6 DVDs for me with all the Meg Ryan movies and now i have them all in my possession. Im rich with Meg Movies. Like super rich, even the ones i haven’t seen are with me now. My friend knows me; she knows how happy this collection makes me. I miss her alot sometimes, we go way back to our teens when we were crazy school kids. She is one of those people i worry about.

Even as i try to write my eyes refuses to stay open, so i better go now. Goodnight World!

I have a question before i go…Is it sad if you fall in love with fictional characters?

When life throws a good day…because it hates sulky opponents…!!!!

Right now my head is spinning, i cant think straight. Wanted to sleep early but had to watch Revenge. But cant do no more. Last night i slept at 4 am trying to fix my NaNo speed and today was a perfect but tiring day, excitement can be exhausting. I can barley feel anything right now, except an urge to fall dead till morning.

Today i had lunch plans with my best friend and now that day is over i’m already missing her. i have lots of friends, good friends and even best friends but she is like my elder sister. Its like having her around makes me feel safe because she is one of the reasons i stay away from the dark and twisted door of my life, which i often end up reaching out to only to step back and walk away.  I miss her and often when she is in town i end up being the hyper kid who just met her Super Hero.

Her visit has actually thrown me back into festive mode, because clearly for past two days i have been having hard time keeping me from breaking and falling into pieces. I think life was getting bored with my sulky face and who likes to play and screw up with someone who says “white flag”?

Have to go now, no NaNo tonight because if i didnt sleep now i guarantee there will be no more writing left to do with a brain damaged to the core. My obsession with NaNo is just my stubbornness to prove myself that i am more than a lost soldier with a battle that’s not even meant to be won. I wish to finish Jane Doe to tell myself that irrespective of everything i still have something i can be proud of, my writing.

Now that im happy i would like to switch off my brain and get refreshed for two days of writing, hopefully i will do.

Some people are sent to your life because God knows you can’t make it to the end on your own. If you can find one person who knows almost everything about you and still accepts you and loves you, well you must ave done something right while doing all the wrongs.

Thankyou!