I cant think of a title for this one…!!!!

I can’t believe but I’m actually looking forward to going to Gotham tomorrow, because this isn’t the break I want again. Sometimes my family ends up being even crazier than me. I think I have found true love in Blueberry Pancakes. Can’t get enough of them.

Today I mailed first two chapters of Jane Doe to 4 friends of mine and I don’t know if they will like it. but good thing, after reading the first 2-3 chapters I end up with editing which is better than not touching the story at all. I think I’m scared of doing things that make me happy and I have no idea why.

Sometimes when I end up going too blue or having a thought I shouldn’t, I try to tell myself that I may have some kind of psychological disorder else I wouldn’t act like this. I envy people who can talk about why or what hurts. I can’t talk so when it hurts I either cry (which is crazy because I can’t cry when I want to, no matter how hard I try and when I’m surrounded by people at most busiest day my tears come right out of nowhere. I have very moody and crappy tear glands.) or I end up eating calories for example, two days of pancakes, hotdog, chocolate pastry, veg toastiest and coffees.

So my obsession with Castle has made me overlook my personal request to myself about sleeping early tonight as I have office tomorrow. I’m so glad my mom will be back by Tuesday. My bag is still packed. Though everyone keeps feeling sorry for me because I missed the wedding I feel weird because I can’t tell them “Its okay no big deal…I’m anyhow wasn’t in a mood to go”. If I said that they will think I’m a nutcase which everyone already thinks. I m pretty sure. Though I must admit I did feel little sad when I was talking to my mom on phone and I could hear everyone around, my cousins and all. For a second I did wish I was there.

14minutes more and my episode will be downloaded and then I can’t watch it and sleep peacefully. Funny thing I took me 4 days to download Flesh and Bone and now I find out the link was bad, its only half movie. fck. Had to find another link and download again. If it wasn’t a Meg Ryan movie I wouldn’t have waited for four days. But I can’t miss on a Meg movie. She is like the most awesome thing about Hollywood.

There are plenty of reasons why I don’t want to marry and what happened today was definitely among top 5 reasons.

Got to go. Goodnight world!

P.S Dear makers of Glee…Seriously?

“Have you ever confused a dream with life?”

Sometimes I wonder what would have I done if there was no YouTube…I mean all the songs how would have I survived without them. People, religion and money can’t save me only music can and of course fiction. Sometimes music helps me in feeling the emotions I can’t feel and sometimes it helps me in turning them off.

Today I cooked veg rice pulao which looked good, aroma was awesome only issue it needed little more salt. Rest was perfect so may be 3 out of 5 by me. I wish my mom was here to taste it. I clicked the picture and sent it to my brother’s phone so he could show it to her. Yes I’m the girl who seeks approval even though I don’t listen to people. But I secretly seek approval of two people in my life.

For past three days all I have done is watch Castle and Gossip Girl, stayed in my room and argued with my inner self on not writing or reading. Though i did take a break from my aloofness today and went out with a friend for pancakes and coffee. I love blueberry pancakes with cream. In fact I want it right now but it’s too late.

My eyes are closing now, as I watch Girl, Interrupted. I think I should sleep, I think Winona Ryder is awesome, I think I have seen another movie that has a plot like Girl Interrupted, I think I can watch this movie hundred times again, I think I am going to sleep now…to be honest I can’t think anymore. The sleep derivation I have given to myself for no reason whatsoever has destroyed my ability to think.

Goodnight world!