America you nailed it cause equality is dope!!!!

Before I start, I am going say it out loud I saw Pitch Perfect today and I have no idea why it took me so long. It’s awesome. Being a Glee fan it’s no news that I love modern musicals.

So, America big day? Love is love and Ireland and USA are just where the world is looking at right now. Some with hope and others…well haters gonna hate. But it’s just amazing how we as humans are evolving and accepting that EQUALITY is not just a word. It’s a real thing.

And for those who wonder if they ever would see that word, its okay to be not okay. Sun takes time to shine, its dawn for people in America for now. World is taking baby steps and one day it would become what it was intend to be, at first place. One day world would be a free place with equality for everyone.

Right now, its 3 am the ghostly hour and I have so many things inside my head. I want to sit and talk to someone for hours, not listen but talk. Sometimes I really wish that the whole 3 am ghost thing would come true and some ghostly thing would come to scare me, I would make him or her sit and talk. I mean that’s the least he or she can do before scaring the crap out of me. Plus, ghosts won’t share your dirty twisty life stories with other people.

I’m just glad its weekend. What did I learned from past 3 days?

Gotham is turning more and more into Hunger Games and I feel less of Batman and more of Katniss Everdeen. I can literally picture myself with a bow and arrow while fighting for survival.

But then I can’t be Katniss Everdeen she is way too cool and I am one of those girls in the chick flicks who want to be friend with the cool girls. I’m not cool, I’m the girl who wants to be noticed by and be friends with cool ones. I’m not nerdy I’m just boring cause I don’t do the socially accepted definition of fun things.

BTW Anna Kendrick is so cool. Now I need to watch the part two.

I should go now cause I’m afraid one day God would fire a miracle gun towards me turn my life into everything I want, make me peachy and sunshine and rainbow, but I would not be able to cherish the Hey-I’m-Happy thing cause I would be dead courtesy lack of sleep. I read somewhere the amount of sleep deprivation that you give your body can never be recovered. Damn! Well I’m not here to sleep. I’m here to make faces at empty walls and wonder if only I was an artist. I’m here to wonder, sleep can wait.

Good night world and congratulations to America.

 

 

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Silence or Music…!!!!

Wasn’t my day. I don’t feel well because of super irritating stomach issues plus some stupid biker banged into my car. Why do people keep on bumping into my car?

Sometimes I go into this phase where when I hear someone crib about life a part of me wants to ask that someone to shut up. I know sounds mean, but it’s not the lack of empathy it’s the anger. I get angry that why is it that I can’t crib out loud. I do. I crib so much and have bad mood days but I have to always come up with some sort of lies to justify my emotions. I lie if someone sees me gloomy. Why can’t I just be an honest cribber? That’s why when I hear a person talk how much life sucks, I want to just walk away or put my headphones on.

I know its mean. But some days the Hulk inside me gets so angry because all I have is lies and pretenses. I don’t know why I’m saying this. How easy life would be if I just spoke but how different my world would be.

You know what’s the saddest thing about living a lie? You can’t defend yourself when people, who love you, end up talking crap about you right in front of you. You can’t blame them because they don’t know they are making fun of you, because they don’t know you or truth about you. So you nod, agree and try to change the topic as smoothly as possible. You kill your pride, swallow the shout and continue with your Oscar level performance of being the person you aren’t.

Sorry, but I’m bitter and angry today and I blame the health. I want my dog right now, but again I can’t have him. I can’t go to a friend crying asking for a hug, for I don’t know what to say when asked about my tears. I can’t tell my mom I need to sleep next to her tonight like I used when I was a little girl; for she would end up worrying that something is wrong.

Truth be told, I just want to stay alone for a day with no one talking to me and me not pretending. Just  me, music and a little low profile silent and dull day. Just what I need. But unfortunately, I can’t get a hug or lonely day for weekend is over and I have Gotham from tomorrow.

Some days I feel so small; a tiny little leaf on a tree that would just wither and fall away one day.

A whole day without a song, no doubt am feeling dizzy…!!!!!

I once went up to a family, having lunch in a restaurant, and asked them if the car parked outside with a dog in it is theirs, when they said yes i asked them to roll down the windows a little bit so poor dog can breath. Yes i did that. It was long time ago and though i was pretty sure they might go all crazy about minding my own business, i still went straight to them.

I once scolded a kid who throwing stones on a dog, even though his grandfather was nearby and i knew he would yell and run to him which he did.

I don’t know why am telling all this, but truth is i don’t like people who are mean to dogs.

Okay so it was a very very very tiring and exhausting day, i hardly got time for thinking and worst i didn’t listen to even a single song till 745 in evening. From 10 to 745 i was working and working. Almost died by the time i got out of Gotham. First thing that i did was get into my car and play Demi Lovato on loud volume, it hit me like a drug and i felt alive. I said no to temptation of junk food and coffee and came home to do a 15 minutes of rope skipping.

Every single bone in my body is begging to sleep and maybe i will. A Brazilian intern had come for a day and i worked with her all day long, only break i took was a 30 minutes of KFC lunch trip.

Man! i feel weird right now. Exhausted and drained out.

Will be back tomorrow.

Goodnight world!

P.S Dont tell anyone a busy day doesn’t scares me its the slow boring day, when i have all the time in the world to indulge in self pity.