Brandi Carlile’s Grammy performance is everything!!

It was about time! World say hello to the most amazing band ever:

Brandi Carlile and the twins!

And seeing them win and perform only makes my heart happy, peachy and all colors of cherry.

Here’s the Grammy 2019 performance of The Joke by Brandi Carlile and the twins. It’s magically beautiful.

It’s 2:20 am Monday and I’m not sleepy, which is so not good…!!!!

I wanted to count stars but then I decided to go with few of my favorite things/people…

My person

My baby best friend (let’s call him Spiderman shall we)

The stories in my head

Characters I read about

My high school best friend

Agnes Obel

TV shows & fictional Characters

All the Meg Ryan and Winona Ryder movies

Jodie Foster

My Laptop and MS Word

My headphones and every song in my players

My All Stars

The world I zone out to

My new puppy who I hope would love me as much as Snowy did

Coffee

My car

Grey’s Anatomy

Dreams

Book shops

Trains

Virginia Woolf Quotes

Mississippi Mud Ice cream

Brandi Carlile

Ellen De Generes

Pickles

Indian food

Eiffel Tower

Walking

Crying

Singing in my car

You’ve Got Mail

Bouquet of newly sharpened pencils

My Tattoo

My book collection

ME…….

P.S Agnes Obel’s music is one of the many things keeping me afloat…

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Do not disturb! Little is busy drowning in self pity.

If I could go back  and meet the 5 year old me, I would just hug her and tell her nothing. Don’t want to scare a little girl by telling how painful being a grown up is.

I wish somebody would hug me right now and say nothing, not that I don’t want them to scare me it’s just that I’m pretty much aware of my worst case scenarios. A hug without words wouldn’t change nothing, but I still could use one for no reason.

At least kids have the luxury of having invisible friends, grown ups just have to end with a sad blog, a sad song and a comforting cup of coffee that would hurt later even more.

Just in a self-pity and I-hate-the-world mode…

Imagine ‘Two beds and a coffee machine’ being played in the background…

Another ditch in the road you keep moving, another stop sign you keep moving on…

I would like to believe somebody somewhere is singing a song for me, even though they don’t know me. Maybe a Brandi Carlile song ‘Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain’.

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Little wants a Kathleen Kelly Moment…!!!!

I feel sad, a different kind of sadness, like everyone around is moving too fast and changing into a better version of them but I am stuck to the place I’m standing.

I have started writing a story and this time I’m being honest, being me and I’m trying to put myself in there as a character because I need to share or talk.

Why can’t the world we live in be like the movies? Why can’t we have the dramatic happy ending where everything becomes alright no matter how sad it was? Why can’t life be “You’ve Got Mail” where Kathleen Kelly loses it all only to find Joe Fox walking up to her in the end as NY152? Why can’t life be “French Kiss” where Kate closes her eyes in that plane only to open them to Luc even though she never told him she loved him? Why can’t life be “Addicted to Love” where Maggie pushes Sam away because she is scared of getting hurt, in love, and yet he walks back to her?

Okay! I know I have only given examples of Meg Ryan’s movies but my point is simple why can’t life be like movies. Maybe in another life. Maybe this is the life where I would be the girl from Sucker Punch.

P.S Leaving you with a Brandi Carlile song and even if she is not your kind of music person, you got to listen to this one for that instrumental part that comes close to the end (4:49). Beautiful.

Im in love with a different music person, everyday…!!!

Today i wanted to do a post on a singer i can’t stop listening. But maybe some other day, because i don’t know when, and how, i wasted all my time. Why it is that during the day time at Gotham is long and never ending, while at night it moves like a Jet Plane.

I’m a night creature by habit, i live when everyone is asleep which is kind of creepy and weird but I’m fine with those adjectives. Right now i feel cold and kind of tired.

Funny thing is when i was thinking of telling you about my favourite singer i realised it’s difficult to choose one. I have more than one favourite music person. It’s like every day i cheat on each one of them by playing another’s music on loop. One day it’s Avril, another day it’s Brandi or Adele or some days it’s a band and some days i only listen to cover singers.

Who is your favourite singer?  Can you take one name?

Like today whole day i was working, living and breathing on Avril’s new album playing in my mp3 player but now i am stuck on Brandi’s music, because i think she is awesome. See, what i mean? Anyhow, i think i better sleep.

I wanted to read, i wanted to write and i wanted to watch some episode but i did nothing because time slipped by and now it’s almost 1 AM.

I miss Snowy. My room is such a lonely place now without him. He was the best roommate ever. Goodnight world!

a little love and sleep is what Little needs…!!!!

“I know darkness pulls on you

But it’s just a point of view

And when you are outside looking in

You belong to someone”

These are lines from Brandi Carlile’s song ‘Looking out’ and I often wonder if someone will ever say it to me, because maybe I do belong to someone. I just wrote a very angry post and deleted it because I don’t like myself when  I’m angry. I am a sad person but sometimes my blues make me hulk, in fact most of the time I go blue and then green. I don’t like people with temper and in last few years I have become one of them. I totally dislike being the green guy.

I have to go because I have to sleep and fix myself. I miss some people in my life.

 

I wanted to upload only one song  but while searching for this Glee song i found this one too and i love them both. The second one  makes me smile, O I love Glee, so im uploading this one too. And i dont like Bram…if you watch Glee you know what i mean.

Feels like im dreaming…!!!!

It a beautiful day, though its very cold outside and for some reason winter is enjoying playing hide and seek. Im happy because im sitting in my pajamas listening to ABBA and Brandi Carlile in shuffle mode, while working on Jane Doe. Yes, im writing since yesterday and doing nothing else. Right now, right here i feel good. Feels like im dreaming.

A lazy weekend where i get to write is nothing but heaven. I feel calm, peaceful and a sense of happiness. I have done major work on my story and if i could get just one more weekend like this, im sure i will get to the point where i can show it to my friends.

o how i love writing with music playing in the back. What would i have done if i wasn’t a writer? How would i have faced the blues then?

Enjoy the “fools rush in” version by Brandi Carlile. Its amazing. I think im getting obsessed with her music.

Im dating music…!!!!

Last night I slept at 5am and I don’t even know if I should say ‘last night’ because it was almost morning. I feel better, I should be feeling groggy but I feel good because I’m doing things that I like, Im keeping my mind busy thus no thinking.

Good thing, I worked on Jane Doe today and after I post I’m going back to the story. I have plans tomorrow but something is asking me to stay home and write. I don’t know if you know but I like ABBA, so today I’m listening to ABBA and Brandi Carlile. O how I wish I could just stay home like this every day, listen to music and write. No work, no Gotham.

Funny thing happened, my brother told me he might have had a breakup and I was like what happened. He said his girlfriend was angry that he doesn’t give her time and he was like ‘do girls really break up for that? I was just busy’. I was laughing because he was asking me. My friend calls me when she needs relationship advice and my brother discussing his break up (by the way there was no breakup, the girl was just angry and he thought they broke up)…strangely people find me on their radar when looking for advice. How? When did they see me in a relationship, leave alone a happy one. It was funny when I told him “yes brother, girls do get angry if you do not give them time”.

That’s why I think I can be great at relationships if I want to have one. Right now, I’m just involved with my stories, my music, my fiction and my issues.  That’s the closet to having a relationship I’m right now.

That's not me but the T-shirt speaks my mind

That’s not me but the T-shirt speaks my mind

Darren you are hot, but i like your music more...

Darren you are hot, but i like your music more…

 

I know I have Dominique and Jane Doe to complete but my mind is already thinking about another story concept. Just an idea that came to me yesterday but all I do is think and let it sit aside. I have to finish Jane Doe because I want to show it to my friends. Dominique is my personal project and won’t leave my eye sight so I can work on it at a slow pace too. Dominique is only for my eyes.

Today and tomorrow I will complete a major part of Jane Doe. I hope I end up wrapping it up soon and proudly show it to people around me.

From tomorrow I also plan to start with the workout thing, because I need to. My mind went all dark and twisty last week scaring me. I think I’m awesome but I also know I have tendency of being a moron.

 

Sometimes, its okay to bleed hope…!!!!

Sometimes i wish i was like people who are always shiny, bubbly, hopeful and all rainbow, i wish i was. But im not, truth is im anything but happy and right now im just at a point where im trying to keep me together because i worry about myself.

I want to talk but i cant.

Tuesday night something snapped inside me, i slept blue woke up blue. Then i fell ill on Wednesday while working, nothing major just stomach issues and something inside me was jumping and dancing, happy to find an excuse to leave work. I told my boss that im not well, went home early and decided to stay home next day too. So i didn’t go to Gotham today, just stayed in my room. The whole stomach cramps were like blessing in disguise for me, because i was more of emotionally sick than physical.

How am i now? My stomach is good but im not okay. But i cant stay home tomorrow, so i will put up a smile and go live the Friday to come back and fall apart again. Some-days every cell inside my body refuses to feel hopeful, today is that day or this is that week.
Worst is i cant let people know because i dont want to be that person who likes to be sad for no reason. Yes, sure i have no sad relationship, my parents love me, i have a pretty good job finances wise, im all healthy and i have friends. But, it doesn’t mean my reason to be sad is invalid, its just invisible.

Anyhow, its just okay. Days like these happen.

I may not even be the S of sunshine but im pretty okay when it comes to pretending to be all sparkly, only right now my awesomeness has bled out leaving me all dark and blue. Its not my fault, its the whole life thing gets to you ripping apart every layer of hope and false beliefs you hide under.

I find myself going to the place i don’t want to.

I know what i need, i need a haircut, book shopping, i need to go back to badminton and few days alone in my room. The kind of mood im in right now, there is no guarantee that these things will work, but a girl can only try. Plus, i love myself too much to see myself like this.

Better go now, i have Friday to take care of before i can fall into the arms of weekend for the much needed hug.
Goodnight World!

P.S i know i might have mentioned this before but still…Brandi Carlile is awesome