World is busy, so am i…!!!!

World is busy. Fighting terrorism, fighting corruption, fighting religion, fighting haters, fighting righteous, fighting freedom, fighting goodness, fighting each other. World is busy fighting good and bad. I am busy fighting the big blue stone i am sitting under, where everything the world is dealing with looks useless to me for i can’t move or feel or get up or be of any help. I’m just busy staring at the big blue stone at my chest wondering how the eff did it ended up right above me. Was it always there? Can’t remember. World is busy and so am i.

On journey from Denial to Acceptance, life serves you crazy cocktail called “Mixed emotions”…!!!!

Last night i had a karaoke night in my room, as i danced and sang to loud music from the speakers in my room. I used my television remote as my fake microphone while jumping up and down on my bed late at night.

My mom was worried i was going to break something in my room, my father was worried about neighbours complaining about loud music at that time of the night. But it was so much fun and rejuvenating.

I don’t know what triggered it but i had the best karaoke night because i danced like no one was watching, because no one was watching. I do this dance on my bed session alot but usually on a weekday.

What can i say, between Denial and Acceptance there is a long journey of mixed emotions and crazy moments.

I have been having a very busy time at Gotham and even though its killing me, im happy about it. You cant afford to think and go wailing because your mind is busy working. Nice deal. Even though bottling up emotions is a recipe for disaster it always works well for few good drama free days.

I should do more of this my-kind karaoke nights, at least i will get some kind of exercise while im trying to break my bed. No tv episodes isn’t that bad but im afraid with no internet, i might not be able to complete this year’s NaNoWriMo or worst take part in it. Lets see, even if i don’t i will start writing as soon as im back.

Got to go, busy day tomorrow plus i feel exhausted.
Goodnight world.

Sometimes i wish i was more expressive and less walled up. Sharing and expressing is a good thing and i wish i could do that. If only i wasn’t the mean angry Hulk anymore, who enjoys long drive, buying coffee, shopping for books and dancing to music…all alone. If only i wasn’t the “my own favorite person” kind of person.

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Batman is ready for Gotham, for Batman had a Me-Day…!!!!

Well the not so good part about the day was the fact that my mother isn’t home today. Rest of it, all of it, was something i needed.

After a long time i had “Just me” day. I went for a haircut, took the longest route back home, got me a coffee en route and listened to beautiful songs while enjoying my lonely, but great drive day. Well i couldn’t buy a book, only regret.

It was a day that started with a blue mood because i was in charge of my house in absence of my mom. And the first thought that came to me was, i need to make breakfast for my dad, have to send my brother on time and make sure Snowy eats his food…and then i realised he isn’t here. I was concerned about him because he always used to act so grumpy and blue and “i wont eat, i want mommy’ in absence of my mother. But then it hit me. It was sad. Then i went for my long drive to city, got me a haircut and drove like crazy while singing out loud in my car.

So i can say i had a pretty okay Sunday. Even though i know not many people are going to like my haircut and im going to get a lot of “why do cut them so short?”, im pretty happy right now to worry about it.

I really needed a lazy day where im all by myself, just me. I better go now, its going to be a busy week, because i have to wrap up work before i head for the family wedding on Friday.

Goodnight world!

Loving yourself a little is the only way to survive the darkness inside.

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Little is too sad to be scared…!!!!

Saw Conjuring today…not for everyone. Dont think the people I went with will get a goodnight sleep today. 😛

You know why watching a horror movie is a good idea when battling mood swings? You don’t get scared. You are too busy inside your head and thus you actually appreciate the hard work in the movie, for you are not busy closing your eyes or shutting down your ears with your hands on them. True Story!

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Thankyou PLL, your timing couldn’t be better…needed you!!!!

Me-Time that’s what I have been craving for, I have been dying for but haven’t been able to get it, work home, everywhere it’s all busy busy. Yes, I know I call myself a Super Hero but hey you can’t just hit Super Man with Kryptonite and expect the world to be saved.

Not being me is my Kryptonite and that was killing me, a smile here, a wink there but I can’t be awesome all the time without getting time to be me.

Today I bought a book because I needed to, I had to, I wanted to. Like I said before, I buy books when I’m low. And then I downloaded the S4 E01 from PLL and now I feel better, like lot better. Here I am sitting alone with my headphones and this soundtrack from the episode and I can’t help but feel better.

I have a plan and I need time but I’m not getting it. I am trying to edit Jane Doe so I can just send it to different publication houses. I want to jump in, I don’t care if I get rejections and my ship sinks.

It’s late and I think I should go, though I planned to read few pages of this book I bought but, maybe, tomorrow.

Goodnight World!

I wish I had icecream in my fridge…would have gone out but its 430 am!!!!

Today was an exhausting day and at one point I wanted to run out of my office. But then something nice happened in the evening, I played the most amazing scrabble of my life by scoring 153 in one single word by using two Triple Word boxes and one Triple letter box. I made Delaying and nailed it. My second amazing word was Axing with 63 score.

Truth is I am sad but a small game made me forget things for a while. Its 4 something in the morning, everyone is asleep. I have watched episodes, cried a little and now wondering what else to do. Something inside me is yelling at me to sleep since im on verge of killing my brain cells. But then I dont want to sleep cause that means waking up and going through a long day of prefending to be awesome.
Im not awesome in not okay. Im sad, depressed and I need a day off from my blues. Anyhow, it wont happen so I better sleep.

Before I go, I want to say I love Greys and it would hurt me when the show gets over. Same goes for Glee.
Hope Arizona (I think she is awesome, sunshine and the most happiest person on the show) doesnt end up doing something stupid and I love the fact that finally Karev has a relationship that looks happy and promising.
All I want is a happy ending for the show…if I cant get it atleast i can ask for it in a show.

Goodnight world…!!!!

P.S Dedicating Molly Smile to everyone.
P.S 2 This is the third time I wasted a good Q worth 10 points in my game cause I didnt get a U. Anyone knows a word that starts with Q but doesnt need a U…?

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Little is busy proving something to the voices!

Excuse me for not visiting your blogs. All I need is a weekend and will go though everything I missed on.

Reason am not blogging much lately, m trying to finish a book. I want to tell the voices and myself that I don’t leave everything in between.

Have you ever felt the need of being the dependable? Someone on whom people can have faith with their eyes shut. I have this need to be the person my people can depend on, with the feeling that I will save the day.

Goodnight world!

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