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You know how i space out of conversations and even from situations where I’m just staring at something or someone. Yesterday i was in a meeting with my manager and this Russian intern and though he was mostly explaining something to her i was sitting there too. And then i went dreaming again; i spaced out to another world and next thing i know my manger was looking at me, his lips were moving and then i heard the words realizing he is asking me something. I was like feck what was the question.
Luckily, i managed to survive this manager meeting situation.
I wonder why i do that to me. Because i have once been into a very very bad situation because of my spacing out talent.
Anyhow, good news i got a haircut and a new book. I needed both the things so badly because i kind of had a day where i realized a friend of mine is no more my friend. I mean we are still friends but only because i am hanging on to the whole friendship thing. So i have decided to let it go. Its funny how when you are young, like teenage kind young, friendship feels like the greatest thing in life and then you grow up, your friends grow up and all that matters is to survive.
Crazy! how we change.
With a working Saturday last week i haven’t really had much time to write but my story is almost done. Still a lot left but i think i did manage to finally write something. After a long time, im hoping to complete a story. I know it might be a weird story but i wrote it so I’m really looking forward to the last page.
Nothing productive again…i wonder if I was better without a weekend.
Am angry and bitter today. Feel so alone because today im angry with everyone I know, friends and family. Was so mad at my loved ones, because of a conversation I overheard, that I wanted to not talk to anyone. So I made me coffee, put my headphones and watched You’ve Got Mail for some 1000th time again. Meg Ryan was my escape. My love for Kathleen Kelly and her Shop Around The Corner will never stop surprising me.
Then I got up, changed into better clothes and drove to the market. I needed fresh air. Got me coffee and bought four new books before I came back home. Buying books was needed. I needed to do something for me.
“People are always telling you change is a good thing but all they are really saying is that something you didnt want to happen at all, has happened” This qoute from the movies sums up the truth about life in general.
Kathleen Kelly was brave to march towards unknown, im not. But I just love, love this movie and Meg.
Monday is here and I know how busy its going to be but am relieved for I had become a Vampire. Staying inside all day, hardly leaving my house.
Now am wondering if I should cancel my plan of taking off on my birthday. Happy birthday to me…yay…whats so yay about it. Have to go, bitter me needs to take a nap.
P.S im sorry for being absent from other blogs. Will be back. Just need my internet to get fixed. Blogging through phone is hard.
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Me-Time that’s what I have been craving for, I have been dying for but haven’t been able to get it, work home, everywhere it’s all busy busy. Yes, I know I call myself a Super Hero but hey you can’t just hit Super Man with Kryptonite and expect the world to be saved.
Not being me is my Kryptonite and that was killing me, a smile here, a wink there but I can’t be awesome all the time without getting time to be me.
Today I bought a book because I needed to, I had to, I wanted to. Like I said before, I buy books when I’m low. And then I downloaded the S4 E01 from PLL and now I feel better, like lot better. Here I am sitting alone with my headphones and this soundtrack from the episode and I can’t help but feel better.
I have a plan and I need time but I’m not getting it. I am trying to edit Jane Doe so I can just send it to different publication houses. I want to jump in, I don’t care if I get rejections and my ship sinks.
It’s late and I think I should go, though I planned to read few pages of this book I bought but, maybe, tomorrow.
That’s what i did today. I drove to city all alone in the rain because i wanted to enjoy the weather. I also worked on Jane Doe a little before i went for my drive.
I bought me two books, Silent House and The Perks of Being a Wildflower. Because that’s how i tell myself dont worry. Drive in rain and book shopping is probably best way to enjoy a Saturday. Truth is everything i do is solely based on making me walk a little more. the stories, the music, the shopping and the haircut which is making me pretty much happy.
I think some of my favourite shows are coming to their end, Grey’s Anatomy, Vampire Diaries and PLL. Man! that will make me sad. Last night i saw pilot epi of Homeland. pretty impressed.
Got to go now, will spend some time on Jane Doe and then i might read or watch an episode or a movie.
Some nights i close my eyes and imagine myself living in a world where i am no longer bounded by pretenses. I try to imagine myself in a happier mode, where i meet someone and fall in love. These fictional characters and their stories take me to such world, make me live my wishes.
My stomach hurts right now. 😦 I don’t feel good. All I want to do is sleep, actually that’s not true.
All I want to do is buy books…lots of them, even if I do not read them.
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Today was just another Saturday, only it wasn’t for me. For past few days i haven’t been feeling well due to all the cough and cold thing, so i just couldn’t get anything to uplift my mood. I was down with bad health and my mood was falling off the ridge. So, when i got little better i decided to do one thing that makes me happy to the core. Shopping and writing.
I started with a new story “Dominique” and so far it’s going good and this time i won’t disown it, this time i will complete it. I don’t care if no one ever reads it; it’s going to be my baby like my last story. This one is for me, just for me. While the writing has begun i also planned my next step “shopping”. I knew my health was all better, now all i needed was a day off, so i waited for my weekend. I got up with a plan. You see when i say shopping i don’t talk about clothes in particular, i mean books. I have this thing, crazy but true, i love buying novels. The more the merrier. Buying books makes me happy, so happy that i cant explain in words. The new fresh book covers, with crisp and untouched papers bundled inside has magical powers.
Recently my aunt gave me some bucks, just a part of some tradition. So, i decided am going to spend all of it on books. After all those bad nights i spent puking in washroom and coughing and in fever, i told myself that i need something to feel better psychologically. So, i woke up real late had my super late breakfast and drove to the city. I made a stop at one of my best friend’s place did some work and then went straight to my heaven “a book shop”. Being in a book shop surrounded by so many new books, each one calling at you. Priceless. Then i went to my library and got me some more books.
Truth be told… there is nothing more amazing than shopping a bagful of books…a total mood lifter!!