Miley Cyrus needs an Uncle Ben…!!!!

Being young, crazy, uncontrollable and rebellious is not hard to get. Everyone goes through it. I am 28 and i still think i haven’t grown up enough to be a good person so i don’t think i can judge anyone and ask them to grow up. But Miley Cyrus makes me wonder what’s wrong with us.

I was never a Hannah Montana fan or never was fan of Miley’s music but her behavior still makes me worry because she was once (i so hope its WAS) a big star for our little ones. The young girls who loved Hannah Montana, who sang Miley’s funky pop songs. Like i said i don’t care about Miley on personal level, not my kind of music person, but when i see her doing what she is doing my thoughts go back to my two nieces who bought Hannah Montana school bags and Hannah Montana wallets. I hope they don’t get to see what their favorite Disney star has turned into.

Because i know how, when we are young, we love to dress up or act like a celebrity we love or adore. But when you are someone people look up to, you need to know you have an influence on those who follow you.

Like that quote by Uncle Ben from Spiderman:

“With great power comes great responsibility.”

Guess, nobody told this (or anything at all) to Miley . She could use someone with few do’s and dont’s for her because we all need someone (even the sanest of us) to steer us when going off the road.

Leaving you with a beautiful song by Mandy Moore from “A walk to remember”

Once upon a time in Gotham…!!!!

Some days I wake up so bitter that all I want is my headphones and my cup of coffee, with no one coming over to my cubicle to talk to me but it’s not how life goes.

I don’t think I can take part in NaNoWriMo this year, because I might have a busy month with the festival season and the fact that we might have few relatives coming over. Plus, I don’t have a story. I have but not like last year. Maybe if I can spend some time on the different concepts on my mind, but then I don’t know.

Today a funny thing happened; I was on a Skype call with a Polish translator with my Project Manger. He was the one on call and I was sitting next to him because it was a task I was overseeing. So while he was on the phone, I sat there next to him for whole 2 hours just thinking and looking around and day dreaming.

Me: If I could meet a celebrity

Myself: Meg Ryan of course

Me: That would be so awesome

Myself: So Frekin Awesome

Myself: Who else?

Me: Neil Patrick

Myself: Patrick Dempsey

Me: Stana Katic

Myself: Ian somerhalder

Me: Ian, anytime, Ian

Me: Winona Ryder maybe

Myself: That would be cool too

Me: So cool

Myself: Pretty Cool

Me: I know right?

Myself: Yeah

Voices: Hey crazy head look around

Me & Myself: Seriously?

Voices: What?

Me & Myself: Buzz Kill

Truth is I was so bored and sleepy that I was wondering how much fun it would be if I could just meet one of the many people I admire. I have a list of people I would like to meet, most of them are singers and few of them are movie stars and a handful of them come of TV shows. What’s wrong in making a list? Nothing. Plus this comes way too low in the list of crazy things done by me.

nph

I’m just eagerly waiting for Grey’s Anatomy, Glee and Castle to come back now that Pretty Little Liars is on summer break.

I will go and try to finish my book; you guys enjoy a song from another awesome person I would love to meet.

Glee wont be same…!!!!

 

This morning i woke up and heard the sad news of Cory Monteith. Cory’s death makes me sad…i don’t know him but knowing he died is sad. He was young, talented and gifted but its all has come to an end…its sad. I played some of his songs on Youtube because a part of me needed to see him. Glee is more than a show for me, because i relate to some of its characters. I see myself in Glee, somewhere in that class sitting among those kids. When Finn sang to Santana, i felt like he was singing to me.

 

 

Little likes alone time…!!!!

It was a beautiful Wednesday for me, of course there was no Gotham city and I was all day home with music, coffee and Dominique. How I wish I could get one more day to work on my writing, but anyways I am happy for today.

There is this thing, often when I realise I’m getting too social and actually liking it I try to cut it down because I don’t want to end up getting attached to the idea of having people around.

So I woke up, made myself amazing omelet with lots of veggies in it and watched Air Crash Investigation, followed by Perilous Journeys on Nat Geo.  J&K is one of the most beautiful places on earth, although people in my country and our neighbors have issues regarding the place but if you leave the history, you will find a land so beautiful so amazingly gorgeous that you will fall in love. I have seen just like a fraction of it in real, rest of it will always be a dream for me. So this show was about this guy who explores difficult terrains and beautiful areas through his journey around the world. This episode was about driving around Ladakh covering Nubra Valley, Khardungala Pass and so on. I wish I could do that.

Anyhow, then I made myself a nice cup of coffee and sat with the season return of Pretty Little Liars and it was worth the wait. Adam Lambert was a nice touch but the episode was just too good. SO much of twist and turns. At one point I could feel goosebumps on my arms. I think I know who A is, I believe I know. This was one hell of an episode. I wish we too had something like Halloween, dressing up and all the scary tricks.

It was a good day because after some nice television and PLL time, I went to Dominique. I wasted all day doing nothing but having coffee and listening to same songs again and again while writing Dominique. Today I covered a major chapter of Dominique, where she meets her past and faces her painful history. Still so much to write in the chapter but a girl can only write so much in a day.

I’m so not looking forward to office tomorrow but then I guess if I need Saturday, I will have to walk through Thursday and Friday.

I also watched Mamma Mia today. Love Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan, they both are so awesome.

I missed my evening game today, said no to my friends who are sort of bugged with my attitude I think but, I needed my alone time. My friends have to put up with so much. I guess I’m sort of in trouble, will have to see how much.

I will go now, although i should sleep now i have Gotham tomorrow, I will write some more. By the way I’m going to screw up with NaNoWriMo big time and it’s because I have fallen in love with Dominique.

Oh I have a question, would you forgive infidelity? Why I’m asking? I heard Robert Pattison has forgiven K-stew and they are back again. So I thought what would have I done if I was him. I asked the same question to my friend and she said she wouldn’t have.

Leaving you guys the Adam Lambert song that made PLL even more awesome

Let’s sing a song, forgetting every right and wrong…!!!!

Today I had a moment where I wanted to quit my job and become a bird watcher or an environmentalist. I wanted to learn all about environment, birds, trees and the green world and do what nature followers do. Not that I’m saying their job is easier than mine, in fact I think it’s too difficult to be them.

Reason I said I wanted to a nature observer was because I wanted to go outside stay in the open feel the air, instead of being stuck in a small depressing cubicle where all I do is put on my headphones to give people sign that I’m busy, whereas I’m just dying inside of nothing.

I often like to take a break and walk up to the window in our washroom to just look outside and feel the sun-rays and greenery of a tiny little tree at the backside of our office. Weird?

I think I know why I’m having trouble fixing me, why it’s different his time. My crazy part and my rational part are sort of in a tug of war and end result I’m fluctuating.

Sunday I did something stupid, something that can be easily described as carelessness. Although the blunder I did was amusing to people with me, I couldn’t find it amusing. All I wanted to do was scream out loud at myself. I was like “What d fck is wrong with you?” It was a classic example of how much I’m lost lately.

Sometimes I wish I was a singer, because singers are awesome people. I mean Avril, Adele, Gaga, Brandi and all those amazing people who live in my phone are like so awesome. I wish I could sing and express everything that I feel. I mean I know I can write but still. Which reminds me i still have no story, I mean I had but I don’t have it anymore. Why? How? Simple, my story that I was very happy to come up with holds so much resemblance to Dominique. Everything I think of is being overshadowed by Dominique. I’m just too invested in it.

Dammit! why couldn’t i be a Super Hero who could sing? MJ would have loved me more.

Voices tell me to quit NaNoWriMo even before it has started, but I’m not giving up even if I end up writing crap I will write everyday till I can. Like I said before if I’m going down, I’m doing it my way.

Lazy Little has little to say today…!!!!

I have a plan but I will talk about it once I actually go on with it, because I know myself and my ability to escape and quit things. Let’s wait till weekend. O god its Monday tomorrow and not a single cell in my body is looking forward to it. Weekend makes me so lazy and so happy that it just doesn’t feel good to get up and put on the Bat suit.

I did not watch anything today except Kung fu Panda and The incredible, because i was lying in front of TV in my parent’s room and both these movies were playing on two different channels, at same time.  It was a total lazy day, got up late, made breakfast cum lunch and coffee, watched TV all day and then went out for dinner with my friend. Nothing new, nothing much.

Recently i found this book “Not without my daughter” and I think am addicted to it, can’t keep it down. So i think i will spend few minutes on it before I go to bed. Goodnight world!

Because life has no rewind and play button…!!!!

Sometimes when the day isn’t good, life gives you a reason to smile before you go sleep it off. Yes it does happen sometimes; maybe that’s what is called “a sign”. Something to tell you, its okay you are being watched just hang on.

I don’t know how life works or how anything else works because I’m a pretty messed up person, yes I do end up being the best advisor to my friend or a fairly good team lead to my team, but there is nothing I can do to really fix things inside my head and heart. Truth is I’m just like anyone else, I love to be the funny one in the group, fall in love and have stupid love fights, be the friend you can count on and a daughter you could be proud of…only problem I’m not any of it.

This morning I woke up pretty late and with a serious blue mood that I wasn’t able to shake off while taking a shower, driving with loud music and smiling “Good morning” at my team. I knew just then that it was going to be a crappy day, so I tried not to talk to anyone much to save the world from my Hulk avatar. To worsen the situation we ended up having a long electricity issue because of some repair, which left us with no ACs. Heat gets the worst out of me because I can’t think when I’m sweating and irritated with humidity and perspiration. Anyhow, I did try to keep my calm and kept telling myself that it’s just few hours and that soon I will have my Friday night and everything will be okay.

Well before clock struck midnight life gave me a reason to smile and feel good about everything. It said okay you are screwed but hey you are awesome too.

You know I’m not sad right now, no I’m not I’m just thinking how life changes every second of every day leading us to a point where we realise we are no longer at the place we were hours and days ago. Truth is despite the showers of changes that wash us every year of every day of our lives, nothing really changes. We still enjoy being the kid with a bicycle, the teenager with wall full of posters, the high school person with a strict definition of love, the college geek with certain sets of friends with FORVER tagged on them, the office worker who likes to hang around the colleagues but wouldn’t mind getting a day off just no work and no boss.

We change and move but we are still the same person and would love to live those days again, only problem there is no fkn rewind and play button. Nope nothing to rewind and nothing to play again, just not how life works.

I am still the girl who had full plans of running away because she thought she was going to flunk her 10th grade board exams, I’m still the girl who fell head over heels in love but had to sing a sad goodbye song and walk away, I’m still the girl who found friends who changed her and friends who built her again but had to say goodbyes to each one of them, I’m still the girls who loves her office and the job but finds it hard to wake up and drive to it because it feels empty.

Why I’m saying all this? Because the nice thing that happened today made me realize how somethings remain the same, only changes cover them so heavily we can’t see them the way they were.

Super Heroes can fall too, but they are still Super Heroes…!!!!

My last tag line on my BBM (Before my mobile company ditched me like a lover who cares no more) was lyrics from a Glee song “hit me with the worst you got n knock me down, I don’t care”. Now see here I was just singing a song I wasn’t serious. Life thought “wow challenge accepted”. Life turns into Barney Stinson and turns into a finicky little creature whose main agenda of the day, apart from other things, also included sending something my way. A fever that started on Saturday night ended up being a major trouble. I’m okay now, lot better but what I went through and I’m still going though is not easy to explain. While doctor made me give blood test and urine test to see if I have Malaria only to later tell me it’s just viral, I realized it’s some kind of infection. Life had suddenly become the scene from Tobey Maguire’s Spiderman 2 where he loses his powers midair and falls down hard.

Super Heroes can fall too..

In short, all I can say, it has been a very painful week, sleepless nights and so much of mental-physical exhaustion. The pain and exhaustion is still there and won’t go for few days. But I’m better now; after all I’m a Super Hero. Yes yes I know you know but I thought saying it again might make me smile. So I’m a Super Hero. Good news I’m better today like “wow I don’t have fever today” better. I hope it’s a sign of recovery and not just another joke. In past few days I discovered another awesome show (thanks to my awesome fellow Gleek and blogger friend Pia) named The New Normal. It’s a new show and so awesome. I love it. Okay so now I have it all, this new show, Glee is back; Grey’s is back and on Sunday I get to welcome Revenge and Dexter. Even HIMYM is back. Nikita is on its way too. PLL is still far away, but I guess I have my plate full. Yay! Do you know what day is today? Thursday I know but it’s not just any Thursday…it’s the day when I find out if Shonda Rhimes has killed anyone again. Technically I will find it on Friday because of the time difference. I can wait, in fact tomorrow night is going to be LEGEND-wait for it…man this line never gets old- DARY because I will have Greys and Glee for my Friday night party with myself. Awesome. Sadly I won’t have any ice-cream this time or another fun thing to eat because I ain’t well enough. Got to go now, have one more day of Gotham before I rest nonstop for two days. This week I have literally ignored Gotham, just couldn’t go. Goodnight world!

You know Kitty im not really sick…my super powers are just taking a break…!!

I die, the day music dies…!!!!

So here is the thing, I think I have found a therapist and I guess there is hope for me. Only problem my therapist is not a living breathing two leggy person I can hug and cry when talking “why the hell I’m angry and blue all the time?”, but never mind as long as it keeps a smile on my face.

I am talking about music here; I have come to a conclusion that I can’t survive a day without music. I drive to work with music in my car, I work with headphones on, I come back home with music in my car, I blog and surf with music in my laptop and sometimes I lie down with headphones plugged to my phone, turning off the lights. There are days when I end up leaving my headphones home and I start panicking calling home, asking someone to get me my headphones…it doesn’t matter if I don’t get to listen to a single song with the busy schedule.

Now that I look back I think I have spent so much of my teenage pocket money on walkman and batteries and cassettes. But before you end up thinking I’m some highly talented musical girl, let me tell you a secret despite listening to same song all day i can’t sing it correctly. I can’t, just can’t, remember lyrics as they are. Avril or Gaga, no matter who is singing I can’t sing along without making blunders. Guilty. But that doesn’t stop me from singing out loud in my car with my windows closed.

Like this morning I was singing out loud banging my fist on the steering wheel to Glee version of Its Time by Darren Criss. Yesterday I did the same to Call Me Maybe. Often I look around to see if someone is noticing me. Crazy girl on lose.

So if I’m happy you must know I have some new songs in phone, I’m am low you must know I can’t stay even 5 steps away from my headphones and if I’m feeling nothing, definitely hand me my music folder. Most of my emotions are directly linked to music in my phone; I have done the synchronization well. Good day, bad day…doesn’t matter but I have to have my phone and headphones. Like I said it’s my Therapist, makes me smile big if the day is fine, makes me calm down if it’s another anxiety attack situation and makes me feel okay when it’s hurting inside.

Its like music is the battery running me. Every day I walk a little more it’s because I hold on to a song to help me from falling. Best part about music is it knows even the deepest and darkest corner of me. So when I get hurt, I shrug it with a song. I bury my head in one song till it stops hurting. When I’m happy I ruin a happy song by playing it again and again to get as much energy as possible.

I don’t know what it says about me though, but I do know I die the day music dies…!!

Hulk is angry, Hulk wants to sleep…!!!!

 

So my sleepless week has driven me to edge of craziness and today was a fine example of it. Dammit! Little self control dude. Anyhow, i better go early tonight because i have a very long day tomorrow and then the slumber party which means no sleep again. Where is Saturday man? i need Saturday and Sunday so i can sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep. Phew!

Anyhow, leaving you guys with a song from Vampire Dairies soundtrack