Fly me to the moon…!!!!

Last two days were beautiful and I’m glad I fought the fear of being around people. Gotham city and its people went for a trip and Batman was invited too. Yep! We had an office trekking trip and I after spending days singing ‘To go or not to go’ finally said yes and went.

Have black and blue marks over my arms, got stung by thorns while trekking and slipping hundred times and have a twisted ankle that hurts bad…but it was all worth cause I had an amazing time. I walked out of my comfort zone, went trekking with people I usually say Hi and nothing more, stayed in tents, went hiking and trekking and was away from my mp3 player, my novel, my coffee and my internet for two whole days.

I missed two things, a friend because I wish she could see the place and I missed my music. Yes I miss music even when I’m having time of my life. But truth is I want to do more of such stuff, escape the crazy world and drive down to mountains and live at a remote but highly beautiful place where all you can hear is sound of wind and your own heart beat.

Even as I sit with a bandage on my foot, I can’t stop wondering when I would get a break like this again.

During the trek there came a moment when everyone went ahead and I stood listening to the sound of wind all alone. We were on a mountain and the wind was blowing crazy, so I stood while everyone kept walking. It was beautiful, scary but beautiful and for a second I wished I could just sit down there let everyone go back and leave me. I wanted to stay back there forever. Because despite the fact that I almost got lost on top of a mountain surrounded by trees, and nothing but trees, and super strong wind that sounded like waterfall, I felt so safe.

I was so far away from things I fear. I wasn’t scared, I wasn’t.

I don’t miss the fun or the place, I miss that one moment when i felt the wind through me and all i could think about was the fact that I felt no fear. I miss being not afraid.

Some people are like cover songs…beautiful in their own way!!!!

 

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4 years of infidelity with my diaries…Happy birthday to my blog!!!!

I need a “Don’t talk to me, unless you have an eatable to offer” t-shirt today.

I’m having a work loaded week and today almost killed me. I know I say I like busy days at Gotham but now it’s getting bad. Anyhow, before I continue writing let me tell you why I wasn’t blogging, I’ve become addicted to “Lost” just can’t stop watching it.

I’m so angry right now, not on anyone in particular but on myself maybe. Life isn’t fair, I get that but why can’t i just find something better than Gotham. I guess it’s one of those days when everything in my body wants to quit from Gotham but then I will sleep on it, wake up, drive to work, have my cup of coffee looking at the screen only to realise I cant break the shackles of my comfort zone. Because, I already have a battle inside my head about things bigger than a boring job.

Good thing about the day, my sweet little blog has just turned 4. Yay! Happy birthday to Little Miss Obsessive’s Anatomy. Four frekin years is bloody awesome and quite decent if you think about the fact that I’m a quitter.

I love my blog because it’s the only place I get to be a free-will writer with no boss, no deadlines, no stupid same thing all day, no nothing. I have found friends here, friends with their own world of stories, friends who listen to my cribbing and still come back. I have found a place to talk, talk about anything, everything. This is one place where I can say its hurting and its hurting bad, because I don’t say that in my world, to people around.

I’m exhausted, so can’t do much “YAY” today but maybe tomorrow.

Thank you for being a part of my little blog journey, a place I can say I’m not a happy person and not a great writer, but I smile and write anyway.

Bore…..Zzzzz….ed!!!!!!

I think I know why I get obsessed with some shows. Some stories stay with you because they end up being the reflection of your own life. That’s why.

So today was a very boring and highly dull day at Gotham, which was also the highlight of my day. How? Well, when you end up staring at the screen all bored of the monotonous and stagnant 9 hours of life, you end up taking to yourself:

“This is it. I’m no longer going to waste my life. I have to get up and get out of my comfort zone. I will write and get my book published and never come back to Gotham or I will walk out of Gotham and find another job where life is little creative. This is it. From today I will work my way towards my dreams.”

And then you hear applause followed by laughter, uncontrollable ROFL kind of laughter, from the voices inside your head and you kind of smile because you knew how funny every word of your silent conversation was. I mean even you know you won’t and can’t ever break the shackles you have around you. Because you are, you.

In simple words, I had a boring, dull and super lame day though it wasn’t sad just booooorinng. Worst part is to get up in cold morning to drive to a place where I have to spend next 9 hours listening to each and every song in my mp3 player, drinking coffee and staring at my watch wondering how, once, Gotham was my safe haven.

I don’t know if its possible for a person to die of boredom, but my brain cells are surely dying slowly.

Leaving you with a song from “The killing”. Its a dark show but something about it will always stay with me.

 

 

Can anyone die of boredom?

Im in pain and the reason, for the first time, is not my story but life in general.

I think its the fact that am bored. So bored of my work, when I ask myself what is it that do? I almost expect someone to say what Frank said to Kathleen Kelly. But then that is what happens in movies, in reality am not a lone reed. Am just a confused loner who is scared to walk out of her comfort zone.

I have been thinking about my job and I wish I could gather the guts to march into unknown.

Today im missing 3 friends all at same time, because I miss them. Yes, at same time.

Another reason am low is lack of good sleep that I make sure i never get. Why the hell cant I just sleep when I know have work tomorrow? Where is weekend? Man I feel drained out and exhausted.

I worry about people I love and today Im worried for a person who is very close to my heart. I wish i wasnt living in another city, so I could just visit and feel better. You know how when you are young and crazy in college and you think life would be the same forever. The good times, long nights, friends and carefree living, nothing will change. It does and today I feel like one of those old people who like to talk about their younger days with the words “when I was young”.

Right now am low on positivity and high on mixed emotions. Its raining outside and im hardly noticing because I dont care, im busy being worried, sad and confused.

You cant be your own friend, your own doctor, your own superhero…and when you try to, its nothing but a sad and sour reality that you are a lost cause.

I wish to take a day off tomorrow and stay home all day and indulge in self-pity, but I cant I will have to get up, drive down to work and smile at people when all I want to do is cry like a teenager who likes to believe that everything bad in the world happens to her, just her.

Goodnight world!

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