I love characters who make me want to be their friends…!!!

For long I had this wish to put a tick mark against one of my bucket list wish – to watch a movie alone. At first it  started as a thought of doing something fun and crazy cause who really goes for movies alone? But I never had the courage because I thought watching a movie alone is the saddest thing in the world and no matter how sad my life goes I will never do this.

Life heard me, laughed and said CHALLENGE ACCEPTED…

So, when life hits you that Ace you just have to stand there and wonder what happened to your backhand. Anyhow, I did reached that point where one fine day I just booked a ticket and went alone. I was nervous, little excited and kind of scared because I had no idea how to just go there, sit and watch a movie with no one to look at, when there is something funny or sad or scary on the big screen. But, it wasn’t bad in fact it was liberating. I know a tiny part of  me from the old-me is kind of dying right now in some corner of my head reading these words, but honestly it was the best thing that I ever did for me.

This Saturday when I sat there in an almost empty theater watching Age of Adaline on the big screen, I realized what a magical world we have in the movies. They make you forget everything that pushes you to that dark corner of the road and make you want to live forever singing it’s-a-beautiful-world. The stories and characters and emotions on that big screen in a dark hall are so majestic and beautiful that for those 2 some hours world feels good, nice, kind and even a gift.

There is something about watching a movie on a big screen and for a long time I felt sad for missing on movies because I had no social life, the people I was dependent on had other people, my issues were often making friends unfriend me leaving me all by myself.

I don’t know how sad it sounds but doings things for yourself isn’t sad its fun and liberating. You don’t have too lie to yourself or ignore yourself and give reasons for not being in mood for an outing, because you know you wont leave you for crazy mood swings, socializing issues and crazy self created walls/rules around your life. People would do that to you, you wouldn’t do that to you.

Voices: Adaline?

Me: Fish! sorry…All I wanted to say was watch Age of Adaline. Great movie.

Voices: Was that so hard?

Me: I thought a little history would be good.

Voices: A little? You would have written a book on your sorry life.

Me: I couldn’t have, for a book I would have needed a fictional name, few character introductions and.. Oh! was that sarcasm?

Voices (Rolling eyes)

So, in short I started today’s post with an aim of giving a review of Age of Adaline and how magical I felt while I sat there watching this movie, wondering what a beautiful world a movie creates for us. But, I ended up blabbering. So here I go – I watched Age of Adaline and Blake Lively was flawless, I never much liked her as Serena in Gossip Girl because her character was not the kind I would want to be friends with but I would definitely want to be friends with Adaline.

ageofadaline

Little is allergic to weddings…!!!!

So, if you know me then you also know how hard it is for me to be in a wedding. I don’t like going to weddings not just cause they are too loud and crowded (BTW- Indian weddings are fun if you are not me), but also cause you (me) have to talk to relatives you (me) avoid all the time.

I’m so allergic to weddings that I often end up with symptoms like panic attacks or anxiety or simple Hulk syndrome, where all I want to do is turn green and make that legendary hole-in-wall punch.

Relatives- How are you? How’s it going? What are you doing lately? You never visit or call? When are you getting married? You have to get married now and give us chance to come to your wedding.

Me- Im fine. How are you? Working same place ( where I’ve been working for past 8 years). Just busy. (All the while smiling, looking around for an excuse to escape and working hard to not explode with the invisible panic attacks.)

In short, I’m not a fan of weddings. Nope, don’t like dressing up, have no answers to any questions from uncles and aunts who are probably busy wondering how awesome their daughter or son is compared to me, do not like the loud Punjabi music that I need a dictionary for and, yep, I definitely do not enjoy being the prey for those gazing around, like a hawk to tear me up, with those you-are-next eyes.

Voices – Ahem!
Me- What?
Voices- Dude point
Me- Oh! Yeah. Point is I went for a wedding today, got bored as usual but I clicked a nice picture. Cool right?
Voices (rolling eyes)- images-rolling eyes

image

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The curious case of a Blue Hulk…!!!!

So, I have been kind of going through a weird phase. I don’t know what to call it. I’m angry, sad and super angry. Hey I think I’m suffering from the case of a “Blue Hulk”.

Anyhow, I am trying to bury myself in a new TV show i found online.

But there is good thing too, I have four days off. Festivals are fun because they come with holidays. So, to fix myself and my dead brain I have given myself an exercise. A story. I’m working on a story, untitled story that I have to finish in these 4days. I might not be able to do it cause though I’m working on it hard, its kind of getting lengthy.

So, here im drowning in self pity, bitterness and anger towards universe while, befriending fictional characters.

I sound lame but I guess its okay.

Today, I was sitting in a cafe working on my untitled project/challenge and I overhead a group of people talking. They were sitting close by plus there was no crowd to make the place noisy.

They were talking books and movies, mostly books. So this woman is telling one of the guys in the group about Stieg Larsson and his books. She is like you have to read, while she told him how Larsson came up with Lisbeth Salander and the story. They discussed few more books and I wanted to go join them, suggest them few books from my side but I put on my headphones and went back to my writing.

I don’t even know why I’m sharing all this. I don’t even know why am blogging when I don’t even have anything to talk about. Guess,crazy creepy are the symptoms of being a Blue Hulk.

Goodnight world!

P.S I think Kenzi from Lost Girl is super funny.

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This is, totally, not what I meant when I said I want to live a Meg movie…!!!

Okay, so do you remember that Meg Ryan movie “French Kiss” where her character Kate is all clumsy breaking things falling left and right…well I kind of feel like that only I’m not Meg and I’m not in Paris. If only i was…

This is totally not what I meant when I said I want to live a Meg movie.

What happened? Well nothing much. You know that moment when we sit with a cup of coffee next to our laptop and then drop the whole cup on the laptop…yeah that moment…you don’t know? O come on! its so common we all do it…we don’t? …hmm…awkward.

Okay, so I me myself kind of did that. Funny story here, I make me a good cup of coffee, sit with my laptop wondering what to download…one sip, two sip, three sip and then SPLASH it all goes left and right, up and down on my Lenovo. Man! What a pretty picture it was…coffee everywhere and my jaw dropped till my knees. I have no idea how I survived a massive heart attack. I think I was struck by lightening right there but I was too busy screaming OOOOOOHH NO NO NO NO…that I failed to notice the heart attack.

Anyhow, to be honest it aint that funny specially when it’s a weekend and most of the repair shops are closed and your brother, who does all the work for you, is away vacationing and you have no idea about laptops except that they are where you watch your episodes…oh my god…the episodes…I lived without my laptop and my episodes for almost 2 days.

It’s crazy because first I broke my car and then I drowned my laptop in coffee…It wasnt a Meg movie, it was a nightmare where i was the ghost of my own stupidity.

Voices in my head have gone AWOL…!!!!

World is a crazy place because we don’t want to love, we want to fight, wage war and drop bombs on each other, at the same time we don’t even want to accept the existence of those who just want to love and live.

Why I’m writing this? Simple, I want the world to know Love isn’t dead, it’s alive and living in each one of us only someone of us can embrace it and wear it on our sleeves.

Few days back I saw a movie “The Way” and today i saw “Into the Wild”, both are different stories but they both have one thing in common, travelling. While one guy travels because he wants to experience world beyond the money, politics, family secrets and lies and complicity of human relationships, the other travels because life has brought him to where he has nothing left to do but follow the legacy of his own son.

I want to travel because i can’t feel myself, i can’t feel the voices in my head, i can’t feel my own heartbeat.

P.S I ended up putting the wrong song yesterday i guess i was too busy listening Shania Twain on YouTube i didn’t notice what i uploaded. This is the song i wanted to put, the song i would like to believe is being sung for me…because i need it.

Batman just completed 7years in Gotham…!!!!

Self up-top for I just completed 7 years of my life in Gotham…its big and crazy.

Seven years of a rollercoaster ride, with so many happy moments and some only made me wonder why can’t I just break away.

All I can think of is the first day, the day that changed so much for me.

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Don’t be a hero. You’re my person. I need you alive. You make me brave.

Spoiler Alert – Finales for both Grey’s Anatomy and Castle have left me speechless.

I’m going to miss Christina Yang and the team Christina&Meredith.  These two remind me of Monica & Rachel, only these are  are kind of darkly, crazy and twisty but the friendship is so true, so beautiful and so strong that makes me believe in the word. The dark and twisted sisters were a big part of the show and now things are going to change with the departure of one of them. At least this time the writers didn’t kill the character but the farewell was way too emotional.

I couldn’t stop crying at-

Don’t be a hero. You’re my person. I need you alive. You make me brave.

greys-anatomy-season-10-pca

 

 

Look Friday what you made me do…!!!!

books

Friday made me do it…seriously, its all Friday’s fault that im shopping books. Why? Well i buy books when im beyond help and Friday took so long to come this week that i went all crazy inside my head.

Last night i was angry, so angry that i was in no fun mood whole day today and all i wanted was to get out of work. So i was suppose to shop books for a friend’s birthday but i ended up buying for myself. Dude! what’s wrong with  me? Why cant i control when im in a book shop? I mean i take forever to finish a book, yet i take only 2 seconds to buy a new one. Huh! i must be pretty messed up inside i guess.

I cant say im happy right now but pretty calm unlike, yesterday.

Good news is i was hurting so bad that i promised myself a writing weekend and im pretty much going to  keep it. I’m going to work on my story. Yay is good but lets not do the dance just now. Let’s just write one page first.

Before i go…40 Day dream is on replay for days…do i need therapy or another song?