Shh…dont tell my mom !!!

When i was a teenager, i used to write poems to tell people how much i love them, i wrote them for a long time then one day stopped. I even used to make  my own greetings cards for my friends but then i stopped. Gifts were my favorite part and now they too have become a rare thing. I have become a different person when it comes to showing my real feelings because I’m just so scared and sad and bitter all the time, but that doesn’t mean i don’t care or love.

I saw this  advertisement on Youtube today and i realized how much i love my mom but i never tell her. Maybe because we don’t have that thing in our family, we guys never say i love you much, we just get all worried for each other but don’t really say the words much. Plus, i kind of spend a lot of time wondering why i’m not like my family. Truth is i think my mom is a very brave person for she puts up with everyone in the house and still cares and loves us. She and i two very different people but i am so blessed to have her.

I have my reasons for being a cold and unattached person, when it comes to pretending. But truth is i am not heartless. Don’t tell her this but my only regret in life is that i cant ever be a daughter she deserves. Shh…!!!

Moms are closest thing to a real Super Heroes.

Leaving you guys with a cute video on moms.

 

 

 

Little had a beautiful birthday weekend…!!!!

A long weekend is over now and I have a Monday waiting for me, but its okay.

On Friday I celebrated my 28th birthday and even though alli did was have fun, something was missing. Maybe its me. You know why I love birthdays, because the love and attention I get helps me remind myself why I need to keep moving on. Friday was no different. My family and my friends made it all so special and it was overwhelming, at one point I felt guilty. So much love makes me guilty for I never give even half of it in return. Its true. I am not a good daughter, sister or friend yet my parents, my brother and my friends love me so much. They pamper me irrespective of my inability to be anything but difficult.

My friend who went to South Korea, even she made sure I got my gift.

I missed few friends alot on my birthday and Snowy, this is the first time in 13 years that I did not get my birthday hug from him. I didnt even miss him this much on his own birthday.

I hate getting old or growing up or the fact that now everyone expects me to think about getting married because that’s how it should be…but I love birthdays. Love them. Even though I felt little lost and thoughtful about nothing, I had a good day. Despite the guilt of being loved so much when I am all me, I was happy to be the queen.

Im blessed, but I wonder why cant I stop being blue.

Anyhow, it was a beautiful weekend spent well with loved ones. I dont trust my sanity but I do know I would never change anything about my life so far.

Got to go now.
Hope Monday would be kind to me. Am little concerned about my inability to work on Jane Doe, Dominique, New York, Cross roads. All my stories are waiting for me, asking for my attention, but I dont know why I cant make myself write even when I know the plots and the scenes and the characters. It is troubling me that im not writing. Im not.

Thanking God for the most amazing loved ones, I would like to get ready for a nap before Monday strikes with its “HuHuHaHa…im Monday and im ages away from weekend”.

Goodnight world!!

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Award nominations…!!!

I have got 3 blog award nominations by the very generous and awesome Tazein mirzasaad, thus today I would like to thank her and acknowledge her nominations.

Best Moment Award

The Tag Award

The Versatile Blogger Award

Thank you Tazein mirzasaad for every nomination. Thank you for keeping me in your heart during every nomination you got and forwarding it over to me. You deserve them all.

Rules say I have to say something about me and pass on the nomination, but you already know a lot about me thus I would just like to pass it on to every one of you.

It’s just crazy and awesome to know what I started as just a blog is now a major part of me, and it even gets nominated for cool awards. Wow!

So how was the mother’s day? I got a haircut. And I drove in rain.

I don’t tell my mom how awesome she is, but I do love her. She is one reason I feel guilty about the kind of person I’m because it hurts her. I kind of make her worry a lot, but I wish I could tell her how much I love her. The kind of people we are, my father, my brother and me, my mom is truly awesome to still be with us. I mean we are crazy people and she still loves us.

Sometimes I wish I was a better person, someone who isn’t me. Because she deserves a better daughter, someone who would make her proud.

Dear Mom,

Thank you for loving me despite my being me. I know you won’t ever read this page and I might never say this out loud, but I love you and I am sorry for every small or big fight we ever had. Just know I love you.

Me.

Well, I have planned a surprise for her. It’s her Birthday cum Mother’s day gift and she will get it on 23 May. Hope she will like it.

Wishing you all a Happy Mother’s day.

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P.S tomorrow i will visit all the blogs i have been missing on. Sorry i have been having hard time with the twistiness inside my head but i be there tomorrow.