Date night with Fiction…!!!!

I watched Vampire Diaries and then 2-3 episodes of Gossip Girl, now I’m on break checking my blog before I go back to my episode marathon. I have Grey’s anatomy, Glee, Revenge, PLL waiting for me. What crazy? No no no, I assure you this isnt crazy. This is just a means of stopping crazy to get to me.

Anyhow, before I go back to my date with fiction I thought I will tell you how I survived the day. Well, simple some music, some more music and more. Every time I found myself slipping into blues, I did the self pep talk. Telling myself I was doing well, the smile was perfect and its just few hours to go. Truth is at one point when the clock said just 2 hours more; I actually found myself happy which is nice because I kind of don’t remember what happy spells like.

Singers like Ke$ha don’t give my kind of songs, but they do give music that gets you through a Friday. So I successfully survived the day and now I’m back in my room broken and hurt. That’s why so many episodes, because I want to live in a world that doesn’t hurt. I want to get lost in stories, characters, fiction and a different world.

I think it’s the whole mood thing, I’m having too much of doughnut, chocolate, Nutella and anything that is sweet. Not good. Not good. God! I need to quite chocolate and start working out again. Monday I will do just the same, but till then I have a recovery phase to go through.

So I’m going to work on my stories and listen to as much music as possible, stay lazy and dirty.

To Me,

It’s okay to fall. Even when you are down and blue, you smell of awesomeness. It’s okay to hurt. It might not get better but you are a good person.

Myself

See, this is what I do. I talk to myself and try to pick myself from the ground, but sometimes its take time. I am going to crash and burn every thinking cell in my brain with all night episode so I go to sleep with no, whatsoever, recollection of last two days. I can’t afford to think that makes me sad.

Before I go there is a post I want to share you guys:

http://renatafbarcelos.wordpress.com/2013/01/30/indiesforward-what-if-you-couldnt-promote-your-own-book/

I hope, wish, someday i would get to feel the rush one gets by getting his/her own book published.

Goodnight World!

Dear 2012, you were way nicer to me than 2011…thankyou and goodbye!!!!

There is this thing about me, I love the occasionally small surprises of happiness life gives because I know I rarely get the moments when I forget the truth. Year has gone by and I’m still where I was clueless about what’s waiting for me at the turn, but its okay because right now I feel happy. I had a good day, while a lot of people must have partied and spent the night holding hand of someone they love, I spent my new years eve having coffee and donut with two of my amazingly awesome friends.

It’s crazy, this week I met two very special people of my life and it makes me happy. I don’t know if people who matter to me really know what they mean, but I do know I’m happy to have them in my life.

2011 wasn’t a good year, I had some big expectations from it because I was drowning and I thought maybe a new year would bring some change it didnt, which is why I wasn’t excited about 2012. But I must say 2012 was way nicer to me, way better. Some really nice things happened in 2012, some good days, lots of nice moments and less crying-myself-to-bed moment though they usually never go away no matter what year. Hey I got my first car from my own hard earned money that was a big thing. Actually I think that made my parents happy and my friends too.

I went to Kashmir which is something I never thought I would get to do because that place is beautiful and far away. Two of my very awesome friends got married and are now happy which makes me happy.

As per the annual report card of WP I did pretty decent and people liked my blog which is crazy but nice.  Hey I wrote 50k words (yet failed to make NaNoWrimo) in one month first time in my life.

I feel sort of emotional right now, probably because I’m happy and sad all at the same time. No I don’t feel sad because the year is over, because at the end it is just numbers. I feel sad because a part of me is scared about what 2013 has to give, because the good moments of 2012 will now be just memories, because year comes and goes and I still find myself at a war with an invisible enemy.

But I’m happy too because I might be wrong and life might end up surprising me with Dawn. That’s me trying to be positive. Honestly, am just happy that I end up spending this week with two of my favourite people who stay away in different cities. I’m just happy that my most awesomely favourite person surprised me with a tiny visit today. I’m just happy that people I love are safe, happy and healthy. I’m just happy that my Snowy is better. I’m just happy that irrespective of my truth, I still have a part of me that wants to believe in miracles. I’m just happy that I have loved ones and they love me back. I’m just happy that God likes me because I’m safe, healthy and have the most amazing people in my life.

Before I go, thank you all of you for liking my blog, following me, just visiting and being my friend from different part of the world. This also reminds me 2012 was the year I officially stopped writing daily diary.

HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all!!!!!

P.S last night I saw V for Vendetta…loved it. And now Natalie Portman has officially become one of my favourites. I had no idea why I didn’t watch this movie earlier.