Did I just ruin ‘The Girl On The Train’?

Sometimes after reading a book I wonder what if things had gone down differently. What if, one of the characters had done something differently or the protagonist had walked away from something? I, often, wonder about an alternate ending and I don’t know why.

SPOILER AHEAD (for The Girl On The Train, Code Name Verity and The Boy In The Striped Pyjama)

Imagine if “The Girl On The Train” wasn’t about Rachel obsessing and witnessing the life and death of Megan Hipwell. Imagine if, it was a story of how both the women meet and swap their lives only to help each other get over the issues. I picture Rachel seeing Megan and envying her happy life, while Rachel looking at the train everyday with same feeling about happy passengers passing by everyday. And then one fine day, they meet maybe in bar, get to talking and realize how they both see each other at the same time, at that particular time when the local train passes Tom’s street.

Little drunk and emotional enough to spill things out they become friends and realize that none of them is actually happy, that the grass always looks greener on the other side. And in the end each one gets something. Maybe Megan ends up helping Rachel fight her alcohol addiction and get a job or meet someone new; at the same time Rachel ends up helping Megan walk out of her strange marriage and deal with her own issues caused by loss of the brother.

Of course, it wouldn’t have been a thriller then and probably not many people would even like it. Yet, I can’t help but wonder…

what if, there was no murder and it was just a story of two twisted women who become friends and fix each other, instead of one dying and other ending up in the suspicion of being the killer.

I had the same thought of alternate ending about my personal favorite “Code Name Verity”, though I would not change a single thing about the book even page 285 because that’s what made it a heartbreaking story. But I wonder if things had gone differently on that one page on that bridge, how would have the story ended.

Imagine if Maddie hadn’t fired her gun. I try to picture that but I wonder if that would have made the book as good as it is now.

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I mean you wouldn’t be swearing on the brilliance, and the intensity, of The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas if he hadn’t walked inside the fenced area and followed his friend into those chambers. I try to picture, what if he hadn’t but then what would be the story about?

There is a reason why something happens in a story, even if every part of our body wants to jump inside the scene and shake the protagonist begging her/him to not do something or walk into something.

 

 

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Hi my name is Little and I’m an addict…only I dont do drugs

No I dont do drugs, not a drinker and never smoked a pot but I’m addicted to stories in Tv Shows, books and movies. My latest addiction is The Fosters and I’m in love with the show and every single person in that show. I cant go back to my book or my stories because I cant get myself away from the The Fosters Marathon. It brings a smile to my face. I love Lena and Steph and Jude and Mariana and Jesus and even the reckless & in love Brandon & Callie.

Sometimes when I read a book or watch a show with a story that has heavy human emotions, relationships, drama and all hardcore family or friendship element, I kind of wish I could just close my eyes and step inside the story, to live it & to be one of them.

Because fiction is the only place where its okay to be the messed up one.

And I love love love this song from the show…

Derek Shepherd? Seriously? I mean seriously?

Spoiler Alert for Grey’s Anatomy-

Okay! Im speechless. So speechless, because I just saw Grey’s Anatomy killing a major character. Okay! Shonda Rhimes you did it again, after killing every good character and shipping off Christina away, now you murdered the epic love story of Twisted Grey and her McDreamy. Last I felt this much of shock was when George died.

Till the last scene I was hoping he wont die but being a Grey’s follower I knew it was pointless to hope for survival.

I dont get it, what’s with tv shows now. They expect us to watch Grey’s Anatomy without Derek Shepherd and Vampire Diaries without Elena Gilbert. What is wrong with TV?

I’m sad, little confused and cant wait for next episode because I don’t know what is going to happen in Shondaland now. Shonda Rhimes you and your shows are kind of make me forget its all just fiction, actors and stories. With so much of killing I think you are the Serial Killer of TV shows but woman I love your shows. The drama, the emotions and the characters. Love it all.

I am also not sure, where and how we managed to reach this episode. Weren’t we just worried about Meredith and Derek getting separated with all the fighting and the we were chewing off our nails because Derek might be a cheater. Next thing we know, they are back to being crazy in love and then he dies.Whatever was the plot, I just think its way too soon.

Its just its way too soon, we just lost Christina to some super awesome hospital. I wonder what happens next with Meredith, Amelia and the rest of the surgeons as in how they take this in. I kind of worry more about Amelia for some reason. Shonda if you are listening at least bring back Meredith’s person. Its time we have Christina back. I know i’m just playing with hope, what can i say we just lost Mc-Dreamy.

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P.S the choice of song in the end. Takes us back to a whole different era of Grey’s Anatomy when everyone was alive and still a part of the original cast.

Sarah Linden…she is tough, she is dark, she is wrong and she is real…

What makes Linden awesome is that she doesnt have to be one of those long legged, low neck brunettes with a gun..she wears everyday look..has sweaters like real people…is shit scared yet super tough…she isn’t all bulletproof like a superhero …she is human, she is twisted, she gets hurts, she has her own mess inside her head and she is real…

I am a Beckett fan and i love Nancy Drew too but i believe Sarah Linden (The Killing) has to be the best female fictional detective or cop…I think this blog covers it all.

http://blytherippon.blogspot.in/2014/05/sweaters-sex-andsarah-linden-killing.html

There are 3 reasons why im obsessed with The Killing – Sarah Linden, Stephen Holder and Bullet…

The whole darkness, drama, emotions, mystery, race and search that engulfs every single episode of The Killing makes it so crazy but addictive. All you want to do is watch another episode. Man! i cant wait for Season4.

Little needs Defibrillation…

I’m so glad I’m out of the zombie zone I was in, yesterday. Has happened before too and it always leaves me wondering how powerful a mind is, if it decides to shut down there is nothing you can do about it.

Lately, Gotham is going super busy which leaves me all exhausted by the end of the day which kind of is keeping me from blogging and from my latest resolution. I have decided to work on Jane Doe again, sort of re-work. I want to do changes, major ones to send it again and hopefully this time it would be more presentable.

I can’t work on Dominique, Crossroads, New York and the other untitled story I have in my laptop knowing I failed with Jane Doe. Knowing that I could still try to work on it, fix it, re-brush it and send it again. I keep thinking about how writing was my one true love; something I used to love doing no matter how crazy things have had been but now its one thing I can’t do. I don’t know if its the rejection of Jane Doe or the fact that my stories are not what people would like to read.

I only write about scarred souls, people with tragedy and revenge and death is often there. I like to write tragedy and I know I’m not a good writer, heck I’m not even a story teller. But I like to write. So, here I’m doing one thing that I like, write. I have decided to get back to Jane Doe, cause I want to believe trying one more time is what I need.

I might never get any of my work published but I don’t want to say I never tried. I don’t have much regrets in life, trust me. I mean my life is one hell of a drama but I have never done anything to regret except one or two stupid things. Not writing because I won’t make it would be a regret I don’t want in my resume of life.

Plus, this is one thing I need to do to stay sane, to stay alive…So i will write…

Scarred souls are the steering wheel of fictional dramas

On journey from Denial to Acceptance, life serves you crazy cocktail called “Mixed emotions”…!!!!

Last night i had a karaoke night in my room, as i danced and sang to loud music from the speakers in my room. I used my television remote as my fake microphone while jumping up and down on my bed late at night.

My mom was worried i was going to break something in my room, my father was worried about neighbours complaining about loud music at that time of the night. But it was so much fun and rejuvenating.

I don’t know what triggered it but i had the best karaoke night because i danced like no one was watching, because no one was watching. I do this dance on my bed session alot but usually on a weekday.

What can i say, between Denial and Acceptance there is a long journey of mixed emotions and crazy moments.

I have been having a very busy time at Gotham and even though its killing me, im happy about it. You cant afford to think and go wailing because your mind is busy working. Nice deal. Even though bottling up emotions is a recipe for disaster it always works well for few good drama free days.

I should do more of this my-kind karaoke nights, at least i will get some kind of exercise while im trying to break my bed. No tv episodes isn’t that bad but im afraid with no internet, i might not be able to complete this year’s NaNoWriMo or worst take part in it. Lets see, even if i don’t i will start writing as soon as im back.

Got to go, busy day tomorrow plus i feel exhausted.
Goodnight world.

Sometimes i wish i was more expressive and less walled up. Sharing and expressing is a good thing and i wish i could do that. If only i wasn’t the mean angry Hulk anymore, who enjoys long drive, buying coffee, shopping for books and dancing to music…all alone. If only i wasn’t the “my own favorite person” kind of person.

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Little is awesome but Little cant, just cant, sleep on time…

Well guess what…i have the title for my story for NaNoWrimo even though I’m still not sure if i can work but hey i have a story, a name and a song. Can do lot with those three things.

Once a class mate from college said that she noticed something in my stories, she said that every story i have written has someone dying in it. True. I don’t know why i never noticed that before but maybe it’s because i write suspense and tragedy together. Most of my stories are drama with darkness in them. A friend of mine was, few days ago, discussing a show with me and said that she finds that little too dark and i realised isn’t that what i write.

Maybe i could have been a happy writer if life would have been different but then i realise if life was sunshine i wouldn’t have been a writer at all. I found writing when i realised im different from everyone.

Today im so tightly wrapped around my darkness, my truth and the pain that it is hard to imagine a life without it. I mean a Sunny Shiny Me? How weird would that be?

I wish i could remember my first story but i don’t. I do remember that i started writing in 9th grade, poems, stories and my daily diaries. Because i was an angry and lone teenager back then who always used to be  fight at home and feel that her family doesn’t care. Not true. My anger is still alive but now i know why im angry and at whom. Im not angry at my parents or my brother or my friends, im angry at the world in general for it is biased and racist and judgmental and lives on rules carved on stones.

My most favourite poem, as written by me, is titled Castle and i think i still have it somewhere. Also What’s my Diagnosis? Is one of my favourite poems. I like Jane Doe but i think my favourite story would be Dominique or Crossroads, if and ever i got to finish them.

I have an idea; i am going to create a different page now with my poems. I don’t write much poems but i do have few that i am proud about.

Voices: Hey Writer Girl

Me: What?

Voices: We think you made your point

Me: And what would that be?

Voices: You love writing. And you are awesome. Seriously?

Voices: Are you going to make a song on it next? A love song for you by you…maybe?

Me: Rude

Voices: Boring and Creepy and Weird…really very weird…

Me: What do you want?

Voices: Didn’t you just book online movie tickets for tomorrow evening?

Me: So?

Voices: Hmm, nothing just…

Me: what?

Voices: Its 2:15 am, you will sleep by 2:30, get up late, go late and that would mean…

Me: Feck…that would mean i won’t be able to leave on time for my movie.

Voices: Whoa! You do have a brain. You should use it more often.

Me: I should get a lobotomy

Voices: Because?

Me: You guys live in there

Voices: Whatever…2:18 am…Tick Tock Tick…

Me: AAAaahhh….aaah smiley

 

 

hAPPY & bLUE…sO WHAT’s New?

So i spent half of my day thinking about the episodes, seasons and movies that i could choose from for Friday night…Elementary? Suits? The Lying Game? Big Bang Theory? The Killing? Winona Ryder movie? Jodie Foster movie?…And i end up doing a marathon of S3 PLL…!!!!

Have you ever envied someone else’s sadness? I have. Sometimes when I hear a friend talk about something that makes him/her sad, I silently wonder if I could have their sadness and let go of mine. Crazy? I know. Pain is pain, small or big. Mine is comparatively the smallest one in the whole world but the fact that it lives inside me all the time makes it feel big so big that I don’t know what to do.

Though I’m in a happy mood right now, I don’t know why I’m talking blue. Telling yourself ‘you are a good person’ again and again is a lonely and sad thing. Sometimes when I do something good, even a tiniest good deed, I end up thinking about it again and again wondering if people notice. Why? I want to assure myself I’m a good person, I’m not a bad soul and I deserve to smile too.

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2-3 days back a friend said something about some TV show which hit me hard. It was a harmless conversation about TV shows and all and then the friend said something, totally unrelated to me or us but the comment fell on my pain. It happens when you hide things  people end up walking over your pain because they don’t know it is hurting.

I have a busy weekend but I hope I get to write few page of my story. Today I was thinking about Dominique a lot and maybe I would be working on it because I miss it. Actually I miss being honest and myself, I pretend all day all night but writing makes me honest. Dominique is the most honest work of mine because it has a story I would like to share but wouldn’t dare to.

So now it’s too late to watch the Winona Ryder movie that I downloaded because a part of me wanted to watch her movie. I thought about watching “Reality Bites” or “Little Women” again but then I found a new movie. I can do a Winona and Meg Ryan marathon anytime.

Its 3:30 AM and I don’t want to fall asleep, I want to stay awake, I don’t know why. I just want to sit and talk, since I can’t talk to anyone I’m babbling here. I finally finished my Mary Higgins Clark thriller and it took me ages. I used be such a quick reader but it was like a long time ago.

It’s going to be a busy weekend and I’m hoping to take out time for a movie because I need a large screen fiction therapy. I think I can manage one episode before I actually turn off the lights, pilot episode of ‘The Killing’ maybe.

Goodnight world!

My heart is busy being the drama queen…!!!!!

For how long can you stare at half written pages of a story you once wanted to work on but cant anymore? I blame bad music, bad room lighting, uninspiring view of closed walls but truth is it’s just me and my mind. It’s not a writer’s block it’s a writer’s inability to be one because the heart is hurting and is adamant about giving up.

Sometimes my heart can be such a dram a queen.

If only there was a gadget for hugs, a machine with pre-programmed hugs for all kind of moods. Press a button and get the happy hug, the comforting hug, the its-okay-hug, the you-are-loved-hug, the you-are-awesome hug, etc etc.

Got to go. Goodnight world!

 

Drowning in self-pity…!!!!

I can’t explain today I can’t, it’s a weird day. Probably, I just need to get out of the house and breathe some fresh air. I’m stuck inside the house, inside me, inside a trance. Trapped in a self pity phase where I’m bitter and angry at everyone else for the world is moving on and pushing me and dragging me along, not waiting for a second to take a look at me. I’m like girl in a crowded super market who is surrounded by busy shoppers trying to move ahead, left and right for time is precious, but no one sees the little girl who is lost and stuck and scared.

I am mad at myself for wasting the day, lying on the couch all day feeling bluest version of blue, not writing, not reading, not moving just not doing anything but feeling weird.

Last night i saw a movie “Now is Good”, very emotional and heavy movie. I was crying and i hate it when a movie does that to me. Anyhow, i need something to make myself get out the weird trance im stuck in. Maybe i just need to let the day pass by, maybe tomorrow i will wake up better. Who cares.