Sometimes I feel like Santa is a government employee…!!!!

Dear Santa,

My list is same as every year.
Still waiting for the real light at the end of the tunnel and not the headlights from an incoming train.

Love,
Little

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The curious case of a Blue Hulk…!!!!

So, I have been kind of going through a weird phase. I don’t know what to call it. I’m angry, sad and super angry. Hey I think I’m suffering from the case of a “Blue Hulk”.

Anyhow, I am trying to bury myself in a new TV show i found online.

But there is good thing too, I have four days off. Festivals are fun because they come with holidays. So, to fix myself and my dead brain I have given myself an exercise. A story. I’m working on a story, untitled story that I have to finish in these 4days. I might not be able to do it cause though I’m working on it hard, its kind of getting lengthy.

So, here im drowning in self pity, bitterness and anger towards universe while, befriending fictional characters.

I sound lame but I guess its okay.

Today, I was sitting in a cafe working on my untitled project/challenge and I overhead a group of people talking. They were sitting close by plus there was no crowd to make the place noisy.

They were talking books and movies, mostly books. So this woman is telling one of the guys in the group about Stieg Larsson and his books. She is like you have to read, while she told him how Larsson came up with Lisbeth Salander and the story. They discussed few more books and I wanted to go join them, suggest them few books from my side but I put on my headphones and went back to my writing.

I don’t even know why I’m sharing all this. I don’t even know why am blogging when I don’t even have anything to talk about. Guess,crazy creepy are the symptoms of being a Blue Hulk.

Goodnight world!

P.S I think Kenzi from Lost Girl is super funny.

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Batman loves Christmas…!!!!

I hate winters but im loving December. Today I decorated one of my mum’s plant like a Christmas tree. I need more stuff to make it better and by tomorrow it will all ready.

I woke up super late to a very cold, cloudy and wintery day with no sign of sun. So I stayed home, made me coffee, played music, decorated my tiny tree, did nothing all day, stayed dirty and lazy, danced a little and danced some more…!!!

To, the writer in me…whatever…!!!!

Maybe God works in mysterious ways or maybe there is no God…all i know, i would want to believe there is God and God has a plan for me.

Funny im saying that because im not a religious person. My mom would want me to be one. Im not. I just want to believe because sometimes i get tired of being angry.

Today was Diwali, one of my favourite festivals, and i had a good day. It was just like any other Sunday but more colorful one with all the lights and crackers and celebration. Though i don’t do crackers anymore. Im all save the planet person.
I missed Snowy alot today, i think my whole family did. Every Diwali he used to be this scared little kid. He hated crackers and the noise. Today after 13 years we celebrated Diwali without him.

I guess i should go, its very late. Im officially thinking of not doing NaNoWriMo this year.

Goodnight world!

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Is Superman allowed to be scared of flying?

My room and my car are two of my most favorite places on this planet, because i feel safe when im with myself. That is the saddest thing to say but its the story of my life.

Another sad thing about life is that im scared of doing things i love. Its second day of NaNoWriMo and i still haven’t written a word. I blame it on the fact that i have no internet connection, but truth is im avoiding writing for no reason. The writing thing is just one of many things im scared to go for. I wont even go mentioning other stuff because it would make me sound crazy to my own ears. A part of me wonders how much damaged im, because some nights i hide in my sheets and cry myself to sleep and then there are days im all sunshine, dancing on my bed for no reason.

Fact is im scared of being happy, of being sad, of being scared, of being angry all the time…im scared of every emotion that i feel.

Im even scared of getting another dog. I wonder why cant i be that girl in Gotham who i don’t like. I mean sometimes even she seems way saner than me. I mean, yes, she is crazy in her ways but i think being her would be better than being me. All she worries about is her nails, her hair, her shopping, her looks, her dresses and her being center of attention all the time. Here im dark and twisted, scared of doing things i love or want, crying all alone,wanting to be alone and believing in and hoping for a miracle.

I really don’t know why im writing all this, because truth be told right now my mood is all good. In fact the whole festival and extended weekend thing has made me a bright shiny bulb. But i still cant stop wondering why im scared of writing the story i have on my mind. Why im scared of things that make me happy?

Happy but thoughtful…!!!!

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