Wrong era, but at least there’s internet for binge watching…

So I’m binge watching this show and…what do you mean what show? You clearly know the show I’m obsessed about lately…oh what the hell, it’s The Marvelous Mrs Maisel.

Okay! So it’s a musical scene with Jazz and I ask myself. What the bloody hell am I doing outside the screen? I mean I belong in there. Not among actors. No. I meant in that era.

Then I realized it’s 3 am and in probably just tired & overthinking. About everything. Life, people, things, errors, hopes, dreams blah blah blah.

That’s when I hear the wisdom of voices tell me what’s wrong. I needed midnight snacks. I open the fridge, mix whatever I coukd find, heat it and I’m back with a plate in my hand and the world of Midge Maisel in front of me.

But, I still feel I’m at the wrong side of the screen.

Damn you Jazz.

It’s not this show, it must then blame Ryan Gosling & his Jazz loving Sebastian role. Never gave a second thought to Jazz before.

Okay! Break is over. Time to hit Play button. Don’t you love Friday nights? Such a party it is.

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Don’t worry Batman you’ve got me…

You put Superman against Batman, of course Superman is going to win but I would still root for Batman cause a human battling heartache, bad guys and the unsympathetic crowd of haters is more heroic than a guy with super powers, gorgeous hair, ability to fly and a hot Louis Lane ogling over him…

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Super heroes are pathological lairs…!!!!

Today a weird but factually correct thought crossed my mind, i’m a pathological liar and a narcissist. Yes, together these words are a very bad combination and under any circumstances a person with such abilities is usually doomed to sink. But, in my case i think these are few of many reasons i am surviving.

Now that i think about it, i lie all the time all day long. Sometimes i lie to people because i have no energy to explain them my reasons to ignore the social events or gatherings or things. Sometimes i lie to people because only i know there is no answer to questions like ‘You okay?’. Sometimes lying is so easy because i do not under any circumstances want to talk about words like ‘love’, marriage’ and ‘relationships’. Then there are lies i offer to people who matter for real, people who love me but often get burdened by my inability to be like them. I lie to family and friends because i believe some questions must remain unanswered for sake of effin peace.

I don’t know if there will ever be a day when i will no more have to lie…I guess, the mask you wear becomes who you are…the case of a lie and a liar…

I don’t know why the thought, because I’ve had an amazing day today. Kind of rosy and peachy Friday for me. I think it has to do with the week. I think it’s also coming from the sleep deprived mind of mine that i have been starving of a good 8 hours of nap time.

I’m eagerly waiting for my book from Amazon which would arrive around 16.

Better go now, it was a good day today. Because it was one of those days where you learn that even though all you see are threads there is a hand too, holding you, trying to make sure you don’t fall.

P.S Once again Agnes Obel is amazing…

“It’s Almost Friday” is the new “Be Positive”…!!!!

There is this Mexican intern in Gotham and every time we are low or exhausted with those where-is-the-weekend eyes, she always smiles and says “It’s almost Friday”…and she asks us to repeat the same. At first, just for fun sake we would started teasing each other“It’s almost Friday” and then i realized that it kind of does work.

It’s like she gave me this amazing mantra; every time I’m losing patience at Gotham or have one of those i-want-to-be-alone-in-my-room days i kind of tell myself ‘Dude, its almost Friday’ and then i go back to work of staring at the screen. Next thing i know, its actually end of the week.