We are, what we are, what we always will be…Ignorant!!!!

Ignorance is what makes people with mental illness suffer more; not theirs but our ignorance towards the subject.

Why do I say that? Someone in Gotham was talking to me about BiPolar. It was a small, silly and ordinary conversation but when it was over I felt sad. Not many people know what depression or mental disorders like BiPolar, PTSD, BPD is, not that it should be a part of our school textbooks but not knowing the thing is one reason we never understand someone who actually goes through it.

For example, I have stomach issues directly caused by my messed up head and also because I was a bad eater once. Now, when I am usually in a situation where I want to avoid something for my stomach or I’m having a bad stomach day, for no reason, I often get to hear things like ‘That’s all in your head’. Dude! That always hits me below the belt. Never for once a person who knows acid reflux or anxious stomach would ever say that ‘Metal taste? Oh that’s so crazy just eat something sweet’

So, when you meet someone with mood swings, totally unexplainable, never call that person crazy or something like ‘You need a good day out’. Don’t you think that person has tried everything from good day, good song, good movie to every other effin good thing available. Some pain and hurt and sadness are not made up by that person. They are there.

Just few days back, 2-3 people around me were making fun of a guy saying things like ‘O he is so gay’. I was there, I was suppose to pitch in something and I felt so ashamed of being there and not being able to tell them how insanely insensitive and wrong it is to joke like that. I wanted to turn around say, you mister are a male whore, you lady are an effin loser and you sir are also a loser in capital letters. I didn’t. I swear I wanted to so badly but I’m a coward or more or less I’m just one of them. So, I just pretended to be busy and asked why they think he was gay and as soon as the topic shifted, I excused myself and walked away. You know, we are what we are and will always be…Ignorant.

If you and I make fun of someone’s weight, height, health, pain, moods, sexuality, color or accent, it’s not their fault…it’s our…our ignorance towards them and the thing we think is so weird about them.

P.S Just ignore my rant and enjoy this beautiful song

Heat is making me Hulk…!!!!

Dear Summer,

Im so, so, sorry i asked you to leave.

Little

There was a time i used to love writing letters. It was the time when Google and Laptops were kind of technology aliens all ready to take over the world of pen and paper. Seems like a life time ago. I used to love buying good looking diaries and notebooks and notepads, classy pens and pencils. Stationary was my best friend back then. I still have so many diaries in my wardrobe and i wonder what to do with them.

I used to write sorry, thank you and i love you letters to friends who were special to me. I think telling a person how special he or she is on a piece of paper is closest thing to telling it in person. emails, whatsapp, tweets, fb posts are emotion killer. Truth is, I find writing down a small one line thank you on a paper more appealing and personal than pinging someone offline saying “Thank you for being a part of my life and for letting me have you as a friend.”

Anyhow. With the kind of week i have been having i desperately need a Meg Ryan or Winona Ryder movie marathon. Nothing would make me more happy.

 

Because you are different…!!!!

Today I was googling something and somehow I ended up to a story of a 15 year old boy Larry King. He was shot twice by one of his school mates who was also a young boy.

I don’t know much except what I could find on Google. Prosecutors believe it was a hate crime because Larry was Gay and different from other kids, wore makeup and dressed differently. Defense says the kid who shot was often teased and provoked by Larry.

Isn’t it sad. Gun violence, hate crime and everything that we get to read. When did a kid turn into a killer? was Larry killed for being Gay? I don’t know. My point is when I read such stories I wonder if we as the people could do something to save the life lost. Whether Larry was provocative or just an innocent kid struggling with his teenage life being different from others, he didn’t deserve to die. And the kid who shot could we have stopped him? Why did we hand him access to a weapon. By WE I mean the people around, school teachers, parents and everyone who was part of what happened to two young boys. One lost his life to death and other lost his to result of his actions. Why couldn’t we save them both?

This happens to me alot when I read about such incidents, specially about suicides. The only thought that comes to me is “couldn’t it be stopped?” I wonder why wasn’t any body looking closely enough to know it was time to intervene or help.

Maybe my understanding of the whole case is less or even wrong, all I kno it’s sad how we fail to protect our kids by not intervening when one is bullied, teased, provoked or abused and we give them what they should never have guns.

Sorry for blabbering, but reading about a kid losing his life for being Gay made me so sad. So sad. I have read about kids who have taken there life for same reason and today all those stories came back to me.

Just one of those days when I wish I was a superhero for real, because world needs one. Hatred has killed compassion and violence has suckerpunched greatest gift to mankind “life”.

Nobody deserves to die for being different…life shouldn’t be so cheap.

Award nominations…!!!!

Past few weeks haven’t been easy on me and its now exact one month since Snowy left me which has totally broken me; only i know what his absence means because no one knows how i have been having dreams of him coming back. Woke up to one this morning, felt so real and crazy part it was like an inception kinda dream where i was dreaming withing the dream. Told you my mind has ability to watch all kinds of dreams, this is not the first time.

Okay! so i have missed on many blogs and then there are few award thank yous pending too which i will acknowledge today.

Thank you my friend Tazeinmirzasaad for not one but two award nominations. How cool is that?

The Versatile Blogger Award versatile

 

Epically Awesome Award of Epic Awesomeness  epicallyawesomeaward

 

Yes! both of these amazing award nominations for me. 🙂 Thankyou Tazein you have always been kind and inspiring.

Now im suppose to tell 7 things about me nominate 15 people…for my first award nomination. And tell 10 some awesome things while nominating 10 people for my next award. This is kind of tricky but i will try.

17 Facts –

1. I am writing two stories and wish to make movie on one.

2. I love anything with checks..my favorite pattern.

3. I hate to lose in chess but i have lost purposely twice.

4. I cant stand a crowded place, any crowded place.

5. I love books more than their movie versions.

6. I want my mom to try the omelet i make but she is vegetarian.

7. I am scared of sitting behind a two wheeler.

8. When i was in school, i had this habit of playing Britney Spears songs again and again using rewind and forward on my walkman, so i could write down exact lyrics.

9. I used to love making mix tapes when there was no internet, mp3 players and youtube.

10. I love looking at old pictures and reading old diary pages.

11. I love to buy plain black tshirts.

12. If i could, i would buy a pair of canvas in every color.

13. I sometimes like to close my eyes and picture a story in my head.

14. I am very curious when it comes to UFO and aliens and life on other planets.

15. I love to travel by bus and trains more than planes.

16. I like to keep the left side of my bed empty at night, because i like to tell myself Snowy would hate to see his corner of the bed ruffled.

17. If i could i would love to relive following years of my life 2001-2002, 2004- 2005, 2007-2010.

So now i would like to nominate all of you, everyone. Yay!

 

 

am ignoring words…!!!!

A part of me is avoiding writing…any kind of it …story or blogging. afraid of opening up and falling to pieces. Bottom line im busy holding myself with a powerful but short lived glue called “everything is okay”…!!!!

I wish to complete Dominique, let people read and not care about it. But im lying i care. There is a reason why i stay awake at night doing nothing but watching random episodes, googling, youtubing (if that’s a word), having midnight snacks and worrying about getting up in the morning. Because im buying time for myself, time to sulk, time to think, time to be a crazy depressed girl who tells people she is awesome, time to breathe for a while without pretending.

If you like Florence and the machine…put on your headphones, close your eyes and listen to this one at loud volume....