Don’t quite know, how to say how I feel…!!!!!

Grey’s Anatomy s11E22, JJ dies and I went all weepy…So why was I crying? Because a fictional patient died? Because I’m a sensitive woman who cries over sad or happy scenes? Because I wanted to cry for days and I just did? I don’t know.

For past few days, I have been wondering about things. I get riled up at home, I hate being at Gotham and I am terrified of every ‘tomorrow’. All that awesome smouldering and smuggy aura that I try to carry at work is a lie I would live for as long as I’m alive. Forever. Because let’s be honest, no way in this lifeĀ  am I ever going to find dawn. frkn dawn is such an excuse to hold on to an invisible hope.

Day before yesterday, I woke up to a dream that was so beautiful. I was with a friend I miss and my little T-dog was there. It was like being in a world I left a long time ago. Sometimes I dream of Snowy like he never left and I wake up realizing how much I miss him. A friend of mine thinks, one of the reason I’m blue is because he left because everyone around me moves away to different places. True. Almost true. I’m the bluest of blue but not cause every friend I ever made moved away or because my dog died or because I’m an invisible suitcase with a story untold. I’m blue because I’m. That’s who I’m, that’s what I was meant to be a color, a word and a person who would spend rest of her day pretending to be awesome because like they say in Grey’s Anatomy

The carousel never stops moving

Derek Shepherd? Seriously? I mean seriously?

Spoiler Alert for Grey’s Anatomy-

Okay! Im speechless. So speechless, because I just saw Grey’s Anatomy killing a major character. Okay! Shonda Rhimes you did it again, after killing every good character and shipping off Christina away, now you murdered the epic love story of Twisted Grey and her McDreamy. Last I felt this much of shock was when George died.

Till the last scene I was hoping he wont die but being a Grey’s follower I knew it was pointless to hope for survival.

I dont get it, what’s with tv shows now. They expect us to watch Grey’s Anatomy without Derek Shepherd and Vampire Diaries without Elena Gilbert. What is wrong with TV?

I’m sad, little confused and cant wait for next episode because I don’t know what is going to happen in Shondaland now. Shonda Rhimes you and your shows are kind of make me forget its all just fiction, actors and stories. With so much of killing I think you are the Serial Killer of TV shows but woman I love your shows. The drama, the emotions and the characters. Love it all.

I am also not sure, where and how we managed to reach this episode. Weren’t we just worried about Meredith and Derek getting separated with all the fighting and the we were chewing off our nails because Derek might be a cheater. Next thing we know, they are back to being crazy in love and then he dies.Whatever was the plot, I just think its way too soon.

Its just its way too soon, we just lost Christina to some super awesome hospital. I wonder what happens next with Meredith, Amelia and the rest of the surgeons as in how they take this in. I kind of worry more about Amelia for some reason. Shonda if you are listening at least bring back Meredith’s person. Its time we have Christina back. I know i’m just playing with hope, what can i say we just lost Mc-Dreamy.

derek-sheperd

P.S the choice of song in the end. Takes us back to a whole different era of Grey’s Anatomy when everyone was alive and still a part of the original cast.