Just an angry girl with freshly cut short hair and a book…!!!!

You know how i space out of conversations and even from situations where I’m just staring at something or someone. Yesterday i was in a meeting with my manager and this Russian intern and though he was mostly explaining something to her i was sitting there too. And then i went dreaming again; i spaced out to another world and next thing i know my manger was looking at me, his lips were moving and then i heard the words realizing he is asking me something. I was like feck what was the question.

Luckily, i managed to survive this manager meeting situation.

I wonder why i do that to me. Because i have once been into a very very bad situation because of my spacing out talent.

Anyhow, good news i got a haircut and a new book. I needed both the things so badly because i kind of had a day where i realized a friend of mine is no more my friend. I mean we are still friends but only because i am hanging on to the whole friendship thing. So i have decided to let it go. Its funny how when you are young, like teenage kind young, friendship feels like the greatest thing in life and then you grow up, your friends grow up and all that matters is to survive.

Crazy! how we change.

With a working Saturday last week i haven’t really had much time to write but my story is almost done. Still a lot left but i think i did manage to finally write something. After a long time, im hoping to complete a story. I know it might be a weird story but i wrote it so I’m really looking forward to the last page.

Goodnight World!

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Batman is ready for Gotham, for Batman had a Me-Day…!!!!

Well the not so good part about the day was the fact that my mother isn’t home today. Rest of it, all of it, was something i needed.

After a long time i had “Just me” day. I went for a haircut, took the longest route back home, got me a coffee en route and listened to beautiful songs while enjoying my lonely, but great drive day. Well i couldn’t buy a book, only regret.

It was a day that started with a blue mood because i was in charge of my house in absence of my mom. And the first thought that came to me was, i need to make breakfast for my dad, have to send my brother on time and make sure Snowy eats his food…and then i realised he isn’t here. I was concerned about him because he always used to act so grumpy and blue and “i wont eat, i want mommy’ in absence of my mother. But then it hit me. It was sad. Then i went for my long drive to city, got me a haircut and drove like crazy while singing out loud in my car.

So i can say i had a pretty okay Sunday. Even though i know not many people are going to like my haircut and im going to get a lot of “why do cut them so short?”, im pretty happy right now to worry about it.

I really needed a lazy day where im all by myself, just me. I better go now, its going to be a busy week, because i have to wrap up work before i head for the family wedding on Friday.

Goodnight world!

Loving yourself a little is the only way to survive the darkness inside.

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Little has a crush on young Robert De Niro, but she is still team Jodie Foster…!!!!

It was a very very busy and exhausting day at Gotham, infact this whole week has been tiring. And, unfortunately, there are still two more days to go before I get my weekend. I dont know if I can make it another two days.

I need a haircut, a weekend, a day in my room, an episode marathon, some writing, loud music, cup of nice coffee, book shopping…that’s it for now.

Truth is my list of things I need or want is pretty big, but I cant even make it as small as one word.

If I can get my dawn, I think I will be okay. But freedom comes with a cost and I dont think I can afford my independence.

On a brighter note, let me tell you something that you didnt know. I saw “Taxi Driver” and Its lot different from the kind of movies I see but Robert De Niro blew my mind. Im all team Jodie Foster. The woman is role model and a brilliant actress. Period. But when I saw Taxi Driver, my eyes were soley on Robert De Niro. Okay firstly his work was really nice and secondly he looks so bloody good looking. I have never seen any of his old movies, so I have never seen him young. Young De Niro can beat any guy today.

Yes the movie was little too dark but the work put in by Robert and Jodie is brilliant. Not my kind of cinema but good cinema. My kind of dark movies are Girl Interrupted and Suckerpunch.

Got to go now.

Goodnight world!

P.S tell me names of old movies that are worth watching. I have heard about Breakfast at Tiffanys is good.

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Can i hate my internet service provider & still go to heaven? Guess not…!!!

I wish we could choose our relatives like we choose our friends. Im not a fan of mine because its just hard to feel connected to them when they talk. But then i wonder if i look at myself from their eyes, i would be the odd one in the room.

Anyhow, i have a problem. I have a story circling my head and i have started work on it but now am being held back by something, maybe fear of wondering how it will come out. Was Jane Doe bad? Is this one going to be a bummer too? And worst why don’t i have a name? Im a person who usually has a name and then story. That’s how it goes, usually, but not this time. I just need to find a good soundtrack for this one.

Well, it was a good day. Family dinner, haircut and shopping. Decent i would say, though i feel bad about not writing a single word so far but i plan to write now. Hopefully i might go to bed with some writing done.

Goodnight world!

P.S i still don’t have access to internet on my laptop which is why am mostly away from urs and my own blog. Using mobile and internet for now.

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Sometimes a writer just needs one song, one right song…!!!!

It was just the kind of the day I needed, productive in terms of writing and super relaxing. It’s funny how my mind can make me do weird things. What is that? Well whole week I mentally worked on my new story, had even written one chapter and was dying to work more on it during weekend. And then on Friday I’m listening to a song by Agnes Obel, when I end up playing a whole new story inside my head.

I have a whole new story, new script and characters ready to come out on paper. So here I’m writing on the new untitled story instead of the one I was suppose to work on. But it’s okay because this one won’t let me think of anything else. It’s all crazy but good. I’m writing since morning and it is calming me down, making me all better and happy. The kind of week I had, I needed something good and writing this story is kind of fixing me.

Though I wish I would just go out for a while, I do but, I mean to the city. I need a haircut, I’m avoiding it. I have few errands in city, I’m avoiding them. I’m like a vampire who won’t leave the house because I don’t have my sunlight ring.

Anyhow, another good thing about the day is the fact that I have found my next publication house. Well fingers crossed, again. I will keep doing this again and again till I end up succeeding. And I will; I would like to believe for I have no options. Like Meg Ryan’s character Karen Emma Walden says “No Surrender”. I am not giving up, not yet. I don’t know if you have seen this movie people, but if not then make Courage Under Fire your next movie.

Its late, I should go now. O I can’t believe Saturday is over. You know what I want for my birthday next month? Of course, an acceptance letter. How cool would that be?

Goodnight World!

Award nominations…!!!

I have got 3 blog award nominations by the very generous and awesome Tazein mirzasaad, thus today I would like to thank her and acknowledge her nominations.

Best Moment Award

The Tag Award

The Versatile Blogger Award

Thank you Tazein mirzasaad for every nomination. Thank you for keeping me in your heart during every nomination you got and forwarding it over to me. You deserve them all.

Rules say I have to say something about me and pass on the nomination, but you already know a lot about me thus I would just like to pass it on to every one of you.

It’s just crazy and awesome to know what I started as just a blog is now a major part of me, and it even gets nominated for cool awards. Wow!

So how was the mother’s day? I got a haircut. And I drove in rain.

I don’t tell my mom how awesome she is, but I do love her. She is one reason I feel guilty about the kind of person I’m because it hurts her. I kind of make her worry a lot, but I wish I could tell her how much I love her. The kind of people we are, my father, my brother and me, my mom is truly awesome to still be with us. I mean we are crazy people and she still loves us.

Sometimes I wish I was a better person, someone who isn’t me. Because she deserves a better daughter, someone who would make her proud.

Dear Mom,

Thank you for loving me despite my being me. I know you won’t ever read this page and I might never say this out loud, but I love you and I am sorry for every small or big fight we ever had. Just know I love you.

Me.

Well, I have planned a surprise for her. It’s her Birthday cum Mother’s day gift and she will get it on 23 May. Hope she will like it.

Wishing you all a Happy Mother’s day.

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P.S tomorrow i will visit all the blogs i have been missing on. Sorry i have been having hard time with the twistiness inside my head but i be there tomorrow.

 

 

I buy books,even though i hardly open them…!!!!

 

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That’s what i did today. I drove to city all alone in the rain because i wanted to enjoy the weather. I also worked on Jane Doe a little before i went for my drive.

I bought me two books, Silent House and The Perks of Being a Wildflower. Because that’s how i tell myself dont worry. Drive in rain and book shopping is probably best way to enjoy a Saturday. Truth is everything i do is solely based on making me walk a little more. the stories, the music, the shopping and the haircut which is making me pretty much happy.

I think some of my favourite shows are coming to their end, Grey’s Anatomy, Vampire Diaries and PLL. Man! that will make me sad. Last night i saw pilot epi of Homeland. pretty impressed.

Got to go now, will spend some time on Jane Doe and then i might read or watch an episode or a movie.

Some nights i close my eyes and imagine myself living in a world where i am no longer bounded by pretenses. I try to imagine myself in a happier mode, where i meet someone and fall in love. These fictional characters and their stories take me to such world, make me live my wishes.

Goodnight World!

 

 

 

 

 

Spotted…Little dancing in her room!!!!

Today I was dancing in my room…that’s how a haircut affects me. Okay to be honest im, for some unknown reason, in a happy mood today.

Two lessons that i learned today, its time to change my saloon because they are robbing me and everyone else who goes there. I paid a fortune today for a haircut, I could have got me a new shirt with that money. But I like the guy who cuts my hair, as in he is good with his work. Second, next time when I want something I need to check all the shops instead of buying the first thing that I like in the market. I found this really nice wallet by Da Milano and it was on sale and totally within my pocket range but I just bought me a wallet last week. Why why why didn’t I search around before buying, I just bought the first wallet I found. Way to go Little!

Anyhow, Monday is here and I will sleep early tonight. Have to get up in morning for the badminton too. Good news I took A VERY SMALL step towards finishing the editing on Jane Doe, so I didn’t completely wasted my weekend. Yay!

Even though im peachy today I am also worried because my handsome doggie isn’t acting well. I think the cold is messing with his age. I hate to see him sad and ill.

So today I watched pilot episode of a new show “Don’t trust the B in apartment 23” and I liked it. I like the character of Chloe. And I ate 3-4 pieces of Lindor dark. Dammit! Why cant I stay away from chocolate and tv shows? Why?

Have to go now, because need all my energy for Monday. Im thinking of making few changes to wardrobe like buying more check shirts than tshirts this summer. Having haircut is always cheerful, despite the fact that I do not get to hear good things because everyone wants me to keep them long.

Valentine is coming and I know what I will be doing…Meg movie, donut, dance on my bed and I will buy me a book. Yes! Because I love myself.

Goodnight World!

P.S my blog’s birthday coming up…i didn’t realize that.

The writer in me is the real me, everything else is a lie…!!!!

NaNo makes me feel like I’m back in school…if I waste time, I feel guilty. Am almost 23K and I could have crossed 25K,but I waste time.

O and I can’t stay away from Glee or Grey’s Anatomy. I didn’t get much of Glease but loved Grey’s Anatomy today. Both the shows have made me smile because my favorite characters are back…almost.

So right now I have a feeling my life is screwed to a level I can’t explain but I feel happy at this second. Why? Because I’m writing and living as myself. I’m me when I’m writing and when I’m not, well am someone I’m not. Real me is alive when I write, I tell stories and picture characters. Rest, everything else about me is unreal a lie. Because I’m not what anybody sees. I have a story which I live through my stories, ofcourse changing facts or that wouldn’t be a story…it would become biography.

3AM and I have words to write. I could have worked before not wasted time, but even in school my mind worked only when I was on verge of failing.

Guess life changes we don’t.

My mom is coming back tomorrow. I would never say this to her, but I missed her and my brother too.

Sometimes I have urge to talk to someone about things but I know if I opened up I won’t stop. Happened before and I realised how I couldn’t stop it. I wanted talk about my miseries everyday. It gets heavy on the other person, I realised it and decided something should just stay inside and die inside.

Oh and I think I need a haircut, but then I don’t have time. And I need sweaters. Am hungry too at 3AM, wish I could get me coffee. And am babbling.

I better go now. Looking forward to meet my old college friend tomorrow. We were like a gang back then. I miss college sometimes but then I realised I looked horrible with braces and the worst haircut of my life.
Babbling again. Fck.

Goodnight world!