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I wanted to write about something today but now i cant think about it. huh! what was it? Anyhow, i want to tell you all something. I love my phone, i do. There i said it. Every since mobile phones became the thing to buy, i have had bought so many of them. No, not because im rich but i just happen to have been an owner of a new phone almost every other year. Strange i know.
But this one, the one i have right now, has to be the one that i would not part with easily. Nokia’s music app is killing me with happiness and music.
I still don’t remember what i wanted to talk about. What was it?
I want to meet a stranger, fall in love, go travel, get drunk, write a love poem and actually hand it over, wake up to a face every day, dance to crazy teen songs while pasting pictures of someone on the walls of my room, practice smiles in mirror and look at the stars only say they are beautiful. I want to be happy, head over heels and in love like every other normal person is. I want to walk out of the cloud of darkness and glitter in the sunshine of happiness.
Even that’s not what i wanted to write, but that’s just something i say every day to myself hoping one day it would come true. Cause you have to fight, you just have to be Kathleen Kelly and throw some punches in the air and say “Fight, Fight, Fight” or Capt. Karen Emma Walden with “No Surrender” attitude. Yes, I love Meg Ryan 😀 guilty as charged.
I think the week has been too exhausting and that’s why i forgot what i wanted to say. I have to go because i have a S.J Bolton book to finish.
Man! i need some sleep. Anyhow, today i was running and this thought came to about how glad im for music and what if there was no music in the world. I tried to imagine and i almost died imagining because ever since i have slipped in to my darkness music is one big thing keeping intact. yes, there are other things, there are friends too but i am so glad world has music. When im with my headphones im often a person you would like. Truth is if you’ve had met me in another place, another world chances are you would have loved me because im a fun person deep down somewhere i think.
Okay! now I’m really shutting up my babbling. Somebody make me sleep.
I have been imaging a scene for a story that is circling my mind and somehow i ended up writing this…
Eyes so blue
I was gone
Fallen so hard
Head over heels
Every part of me
Don’t know how
But I think I have
Fallen in love
She lives inside
Is no more
In my possession
Like an obsession
She lives with me
Even with eyes closed
I told myself
I fell from
Every song I ever wrote, every dream I ever dreamt of, every smile I ever painted, every tear I ever dropped, everything I, did or do, is and will be for you.
Maybe someday we will meet and then I will give them all to you, to show you how much I waited for you even when I didn’t knew you. Someday when we will sit across and talk about life, I will sing the words I wrote and never shared, the dreams I built but never spoke about. Yes I will meet you, yes we will smile and we will fall in love, only I don’t know when and where. I can’t say which coffee shop will be ours, which spot will be ours, which corner will be ours. We will fight and sing sorry only I don’t know who will say it first, who will bring flowers and who will kiss and let it go.
Sometimes I walk along the road and look at places and picture you and me there, talking with hands in hands. I try to look at pictures on wall and imagine you and I inside them, deeply in love and happy. Every day and every night I wait but it never gets tiring because I know you will come, I know we will be. So I do my best to try and dream of us because I know you would want to know if I ever thought we would meet. I write down words I know would make you believe that I knew you would come. Maybe I’m crazy, maybe I’m head over heels over nothing, maybe I just believe too much. But how can I not think of you, how can I not fall in love with you. You were there once there, right in front of me, staring at me for as long as possible before you walked away and out of my life, before you melted me and broke me into a million pieces.
Didn’t you teach me to sing, to write those love songs, to dream, to smile when nothing is said, to cry, to feel happy, to act hopelessly and to just be me? Love wasn’t it you who came and destroyed me? Here I stand again waiting for you, believing in you and knowing you would come again.
This one is for you love, because I know we will meet again and I will sing to you again. I know I will find you and me walking on the road with spring leaves again, I know I will find another place I will sit all day long to think of you when you will go again, I know I will rise and fall again, I know you haven’t gone forever. I know I will find you soon.
I still have you inside deep down, the day you left and made me someone I never thought I could be. So this one is for you, i will wait for you…!!!!