I have spent a major part of my life missing people, friends I made and said goodbyes to and I wonder if I was missed too. I wonder if I have touched lives of these friends of mine as much as I have been touched by theirs. I would like to think I have been missed too.
Today I almost made my mind about talking to my mom but then I was a mess in morning and by afternoon I realized what a crazy thought it was. Though I did tell my mom about the medical problems I’m experiencing recently, because I’m not sure if it’s because I’m blue or because it’s the cervical. Lately I go though small momentary episodes of suffocation shortness of breath, headache that stays all day and then of course the cervical neck ache. Good thing I have started doing stretching exercises and running; also my mother does the oil massage on my neck. It helps.
Truth is if you are the only person who knows what you are going through and how dark it’s inside; the only person who can help you is you. So I started with the exercise, I stayed away from my headphones all day today and I have said yes to my friend for weekend movie plan instead of locking myself in my room which I want to do.
Only problem is I don’t know why do I have to put so much effort to keep me standing, why can’t I be the person I pretend to be…happy and awesome. You ask people in my office and not a single one of them would agree to my having a blue side. I’m that good when it’s comes to keeping appearances.
So, my HR made a bet with me saying I can’t come to office on time even for a week and I did. She had to buy me coffee. Now my friend says I can’t keep this for long and the bet is that I will crack before completing a month. I love bets and challenges. I hate to lose so I guess for next one month I’m going to have to reach office before 945 everyday. Man! It’s going to be difficult considering the fact that I sleep super duper late.
Today I’m listening to Hindi songs for a change which feels good. I rarely listen to Hindi songs except the few numbers I have on my phone but today I found this song that I can’t stop listening to. The guy in the movie is an Indian doppelganger of McDreamy from Grey’s.
Have to go now, im sleepy but I have to stay awake because my brother is late today and I have to open door for him. Friday is here and i dont know why i hate this day now, every friday my mind counts the number of days it has been since i lost Snowy.
P.S i love this Beatles song so much and i didnt even knew i had it in my phone all this time.