My heart is busy being the drama queen…!!!!!

For how long can you stare at half written pages of a story you once wanted to work on but cant anymore? I blame bad music, bad room lighting, uninspiring view of closed walls but truth is it’s just me and my mind. It’s not a writer’s block it’s a writer’s inability to be one because the heart is hurting and is adamant about giving up.

Sometimes my heart can be such a dram a queen.

If only there was a gadget for hugs, a machine with pre-programmed hugs for all kind of moods. Press a button and get the happy hug, the comforting hug, the its-okay-hug, the you-are-loved-hug, the you-are-awesome hug, etc etc.

Got to go. Goodnight world!

 

i tell myself hugs are overrated…my heart doesnt buy it…!!!!

While today i was in a better mood, because unlike yesterday i wasn’t in tears, but there is a sense of anxiety within. But still lot better than yesterday, when every part inside me was breaking into a million pieces begging me to give up.

Sometimes i feel bad about not being able to react like normal people do at different news. In years of pretending and hiding i have lost touch with “right emotions at the right time”. Anyhow, there were some really good moments during the day which made me happy too. Now  all i need for now is for Friday to get over quickly, so i can come home and get a dose of Glee and Greys and lots of writing. Two days of writing and writing and writing. Because this the only free weekend with me, next weekend i have guests and wedding to attend. How the fck am i suppose to finish Jane Doe on time? Freaking out big time.

I will be going to NaNoWri now because im burdened by backlog, so much of it.

Days like yesterday often end up with me telling myself that hugs are overrated and i don’t need one. Hoping i would believe it but i don’t.