This is, totally, not what I meant when I said I want to live a Meg movie…!!!

Okay, so do you remember that Meg Ryan movie “French Kiss” where her character Kate is all clumsy breaking things falling left and right…well I kind of feel like that only I’m not Meg and I’m not in Paris. If only i was…

This is totally not what I meant when I said I want to live a Meg movie.

What happened? Well nothing much. You know that moment when we sit with a cup of coffee next to our laptop and then drop the whole cup on the laptop…yeah that moment…you don’t know? O come on! its so common we all do it…we don’t? …hmm…awkward.

Okay, so I me myself kind of did that. Funny story here, I make me a good cup of coffee, sit with my laptop wondering what to download…one sip, two sip, three sip and then SPLASH it all goes left and right, up and down on my Lenovo. Man! What a pretty picture it was…coffee everywhere and my jaw dropped till my knees. I have no idea how I survived a massive heart attack. I think I was struck by lightening right there but I was too busy screaming OOOOOOHH NO NO NO NO…that I failed to notice the heart attack.

Anyhow, to be honest it aint that funny specially when it’s a weekend and most of the repair shops are closed and your brother, who does all the work for you, is away vacationing and you have no idea about laptops except that they are where you watch your episodes…oh my god…the episodes…I lived without my laptop and my episodes for almost 2 days.

It’s crazy because first I broke my car and then I drowned my laptop in coffee…It wasnt a Meg movie, it was a nightmare where i was the ghost of my own stupidity.

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my mind cant come up with a title…am that exhausted!!!!

I took forever for Friday evening to come and every part of me physically and mentally feels exhausted. Good thing i have no plans tomorrow and only thing i will be doing is stay in my PJs all day long, while i spend quality time with my laptop and cup of coffees.

I plan to indulge in junk therapy too!!!!

But right now, i need to watch something nice and happy, anything. Because I saw “The boy in striped pyjamas” and it broke my heart. It did. The last scene with the mother was heart breakingly sad. I have seen a lot of holocaust related movies, read a lot about it, researched enough but it won’t ever stop making me sad. This movie was the biggest heart breaker of all. It brought back the effect Sarah’s Key the book had on me.

Got to go now. Goodnight world!

You gotta do what you gotta do…!!!!

i could quote a thousand words to tell you how i feel but it aint going to make any difference. Monday was fine except the headache that made me want to kill myself for not sleeping on time. But i cant just sleep on time, stop doing things i like doing or else there is no way to get through. You got to do what you got do.

Good news im typing from my laptop. Yay! and i now i can go back to all the posts that i missed on to.

Its late and i should sleep but i will read a little because i want to finish this book. I have been leaving things in between books, stories and what not which is making me kinda angry with myself.

Tomorrow i will try to upload a page from Jane Doe or Dominqiue. I’m dying to have a two day weekend or longer so i can just write. I dont want to go out, stay inside and write. Its 12:55 am and i feel like having a donut.

Goodnight world!

Dyed in blue, can i ever be anything else?

I saw this hindi movie today and there was this scene where the guy tells the girl that she has a Meena Kumari Complex, which means she likes to be sad and sad poems and songs make her happy. (Meena Kumari was an old actress known for her beauty, movies and sadness)

So I wonder if I have Meena Kumari complex and if I like to be sad. I spend so much time being blue that I often wonder if I can ever be happy. Once I had this thought that if one day life does change, a miracle happens and I get my dawn, would I stop being sad? I mean I don’t know how to be anything but unhappy which is crazy, because I have everything that so many people don’t have. But then having it all doesn’t make my pain small, it still hurts. No matter how fun a day goes, at the end I can’t escape the truth that I’m not what people think I’m, that I lie to people who love me, that I am scared.

so much time spent being the tragedy queen, can I ever be something else? I wonder.

Last night, I had one of my weird dreams. I wonder why my dreams are weird. Well it was one of those im-getting-married dreams but for some reason it wasn’t as scary as its normally. Usually when I have one of these dreams I end up super blue and freaked out, but not this time. Ask me why. Well, because some part of my brain decided to make the visuals and theme beautiful. I am married and living with some guy, but the place is gorgeous. We have a huge huge house on a sea facing location. The beach is surrounded with palm trees and those greek acropolis shaped gates and pillars. The place in my dream was breathtakingly beautiful. So awesome that I forgot it was a wedding dream. I think my brain has developed some kind of defense mechanism against my creepy dreams

I wish I could just close my eyes and go back to that place again. Only I know how badly I want to see that place again.

Bad news, my laptop died and needs to go to laptop doctor for repair. Thankgod I have blackberry and a tab. At first when I realised my laptop won’t start I panicked because my stories, Jane Doe and Dominique is there. Fortunately it started for few minutes, I took a quick backup of the documents and now it won’t start. 😦

I wonder how sad I would have been if I had lost my stories. Tomorrow I plan to stay home and write.

Goodnight World!!

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