O Australia, O Australia…

Sometimes it becomes hard to see the beautiful existence of life…

50 people who were unwinding, having a good evening after a long week, sharing drinks with friends or partners, are now never going to get to see their family members or loved ones because a man walked in believing he had the right to hurt them.

Here is what’s going to happen now:

1 – Some are going to blame it as ‘hate against lgbt’

2 – Some are going to blame it on the religion of the shooter

3 – Some are going to blame it on existence of guns

But in the end, we lost people and little more of, already in shortage, humanity. I saw a woman cry (on the news) because she couldn’t find her son, who was there with his friends and his boyfriend. She cried for the boyfriend who was taken to hospital with multiple gun shot wounds, she cried for the son who cant be found or reached and she cried for the horror of what it could mean. Gay or not, don’t matter, a mother lost her son.

While, my heart hurts for those who lost their loved ones I also feel so so sad for those who will now bear the brunt of one  man’s action. His family, his son, his parents and those who are good honest and hardworking American Muslims with nothing to do with his hate.

There is no punchline or quote to give because there is just too much pain.

 

So I cried at the end of The Danish Girl…!!!!

Today after a long time I did a movie marathon in theater. I needed it so badly. When I sit there in the dark hall looking at the huge large screen with stories and background music, I forget everything else.

Sitting alone in dark with random strangers all busy looking ahead, I fall in love with life and the fact that there is a world out there. Movies make me see the world and meet people, something I’ll never do in my reality.

Stories. I breathe on them, books or movies.

Anyhow, out of the two movies that I saw one was The Danish Girl. Eddie Redmayne was brilliant. Just brilliant, so was Alicia Vikander. At the end, at the very last scene, tears strolled down my cheeks and I thanked myself for being a solo movie-goer.

I loved the way Eddie Redmayne portrayed the struggle and pride of someone wanting to be true and honest and accepting of who they are. And I loved Alicia’s character and her unconditional support in the journey of transformation of Einar into Lily. Now I don’t know how real is this reality based story, but whatever I saw was beautifully presented and too emotional.

I don’t know much about transgender community. But I do wonder how hard it must be for them with so much of judgement. I wish world was not about guns and hatred but about accepting. But then again that’s just me. And I’m nobody. World is not made of me, which is both good and bad.

Truth is God doesn’t hate anyone no matter who you are, it’s us. God made us, everyone one of us every gender every sexuality every caste every color every religion. God made us. We are the one who decided to hate or not like each other.

Coming back to the movie, I loved The Danish Girl but it took me a lot of time to adjust to The Hateful Eight. Wasn’t my kind but was alright.

It’s Monday again, so I think I should say goodnight.  Time to turn off the lights, close my eyes and paint a world of my own.

I would like to end the day by sending huge hug in the cosmic world to someone anyone who is hurting. Because one day I would like to find a cosmic hug too.

Goodnight world!

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Dressed in hate, we change our facebook icon to solidarity mode…!!!

For those with different opinion lets just agree to disagree.

I recently read about some woman who, runs a hair saloon, posted on her Facebook that her Saloon would not take people from Islam religion. This was her reaction to Paris attack.
Just when I was trying to make sense of it, I found this article today. I wish I could read it and say what a moron neighbor, but all I could think was not 2 or 5 or 9 but 19 cops.

Fear has taken us all down the drain far away from sanity. We are scared of Muslims, Blacks, Browns, LGBT, Asians, Refugees; heck we are even scared of Straights and Whites.

http://www.ndtv.com/opinion/my-white-neighbor-thought-i-was-breaking-into-my-own-apartment-nineteen-cops-showed-up-1245025

Funny thing is each one of us of would cry racism while doing the same to the other. You might be a Muslim but you’ll hate Gays, you might be a Black but you’ll hate a Muslim. I know some brown people who cry racism but often end up calling names to those in living in East or making fun of LGBT.

No matter who you are, you’ll always find someone to hate and someone to blame.

And we want to find Aliens…!!!!

Dear Martians, Run Now…!!!!!

So we found water or at least some kind of solid proof of it presence on Mars. You know the 17 years old me, back in time, would have jumped and danced and even cried with happiness, but the 2015 me is just so worried about the repercussion of it.

What? What? What?

Well, finding water is really cool and awesome but we are “HUMANS” we believe in causing pain, destruction and every possible type of atrocities to those who wish to live in peace. We found water now we would move mountains to find life and then we would land there and effinly rule like we are ruling the sad little earth.

Step 1: Find Life

Step 2: Smile & Shake Hands

Step 3: Click a Dozen Selfies

Step 4: Punch in Face

Step 5: Ban Local Music, Religion, Culture and Put “We Mean No Harm” signs along with…

“Martians with brown or black color report to left, LGBT Martians apply to right, those belonging to following religions as listed below must restrict to certain rules and remember to smile and say WORLD PEACE for our media camera. “

When I read about a 16 year old girl being stabbed in a Pride Parade, I literally felt tears threatening me on a busy work day. All she did was be part of a peaceful pride parade celebrating the equality rights and one lunatic just walks in attacks innocent people. Shira Banki, who had all her life in front of her, lost her life because among us are people who refuse to understand that everyone deserves to live. I specially don’t get those who hurt others in name of religion because I ‘m pretty much sure God never created people for sake of hating and hurting.

3 years old Aylan, his brother and mom were not the only ones who died on that day or day before or day after. But he became the heart wrenching -rock solid proof of how war torn countries are tearing the basic fabric of humanity, causing pain by those throwing shells and mortars and by those who struggle to shelter the scared ones.

And today I read about a guy beaten to death in a small town for he was, according to rumors, having beef in a beef banned place. Well, so we the humans just killed him.

It never ends, the pain caused by us. It would never stop.

I just hope Martians would run away to another planet before we land, because we are incapable of harmony. Some of us at least are totally incapable of following ‘Live and Let Live’.

I have been so exhausted mentally lately that now everything gets on my nerves and I can’t seem to shake the stinging darkness of the world I’m living in. Sometimes I wonder if Happy Ending is really a thing, maybe it’s a myth.

Forgive me for I vent…

17 years old me: Dear God let there be life and water on Mars
30 Years old me: #LOL
Martians on Mars: BOP BEEP BOP BEEP BOP BOP BUPPP BOOOOPPPPP (Translation- Run effin Eartians found us. Dammit RUNNNNNN)

ALIEN

America you nailed it cause equality is dope!!!!

Before I start, I am going say it out loud I saw Pitch Perfect today and I have no idea why it took me so long. It’s awesome. Being a Glee fan it’s no news that I love modern musicals.

So, America big day? Love is love and Ireland and USA are just where the world is looking at right now. Some with hope and others…well haters gonna hate. But it’s just amazing how we as humans are evolving and accepting that EQUALITY is not just a word. It’s a real thing.

And for those who wonder if they ever would see that word, its okay to be not okay. Sun takes time to shine, its dawn for people in America for now. World is taking baby steps and one day it would become what it was intend to be, at first place. One day world would be a free place with equality for everyone.

Right now, its 3 am the ghostly hour and I have so many things inside my head. I want to sit and talk to someone for hours, not listen but talk. Sometimes I really wish that the whole 3 am ghost thing would come true and some ghostly thing would come to scare me, I would make him or her sit and talk. I mean that’s the least he or she can do before scaring the crap out of me. Plus, ghosts won’t share your dirty twisty life stories with other people.

I’m just glad its weekend. What did I learned from past 3 days?

Gotham is turning more and more into Hunger Games and I feel less of Batman and more of Katniss Everdeen. I can literally picture myself with a bow and arrow while fighting for survival.

But then I can’t be Katniss Everdeen she is way too cool and I am one of those girls in the chick flicks who want to be friend with the cool girls. I’m not cool, I’m the girl who wants to be noticed by and be friends with cool ones. I’m not nerdy I’m just boring cause I don’t do the socially accepted definition of fun things.

BTW Anna Kendrick is so cool. Now I need to watch the part two.

I should go now cause I’m afraid one day God would fire a miracle gun towards me turn my life into everything I want, make me peachy and sunshine and rainbow, but I would not be able to cherish the Hey-I’m-Happy thing cause I would be dead courtesy lack of sleep. I read somewhere the amount of sleep deprivation that you give your body can never be recovered. Damn! Well I’m not here to sleep. I’m here to make faces at empty walls and wonder if only I was an artist. I’m here to wonder, sleep can wait.

Good night world and congratulations to America.

 

 

We are, what we are, what we always will be…Ignorant!!!!

Ignorance is what makes people with mental illness suffer more; not theirs but our ignorance towards the subject.

Why do I say that? Someone in Gotham was talking to me about BiPolar. It was a small, silly and ordinary conversation but when it was over I felt sad. Not many people know what depression or mental disorders like BiPolar, PTSD, BPD is, not that it should be a part of our school textbooks but not knowing the thing is one reason we never understand someone who actually goes through it.

For example, I have stomach issues directly caused by my messed up head and also because I was a bad eater once. Now, when I am usually in a situation where I want to avoid something for my stomach or I’m having a bad stomach day, for no reason, I often get to hear things like ‘That’s all in your head’. Dude! That always hits me below the belt. Never for once a person who knows acid reflux or anxious stomach would ever say that ‘Metal taste? Oh that’s so crazy just eat something sweet’

So, when you meet someone with mood swings, totally unexplainable, never call that person crazy or something like ‘You need a good day out’. Don’t you think that person has tried everything from good day, good song, good movie to every other effin good thing available. Some pain and hurt and sadness are not made up by that person. They are there.

Just few days back, 2-3 people around me were making fun of a guy saying things like ‘O he is so gay’. I was there, I was suppose to pitch in something and I felt so ashamed of being there and not being able to tell them how insanely insensitive and wrong it is to joke like that. I wanted to turn around say, you mister are a male whore, you lady are an effin loser and you sir are also a loser in capital letters. I didn’t. I swear I wanted to so badly but I’m a coward or more or less I’m just one of them. So, I just pretended to be busy and asked why they think he was gay and as soon as the topic shifted, I excused myself and walked away. You know, we are what we are and will always be…Ignorant.

If you and I make fun of someone’s weight, height, health, pain, moods, sexuality, color or accent, it’s not their fault…it’s our…our ignorance towards them and the thing we think is so weird about them.

P.S Just ignore my rant and enjoy this beautiful song