Platonic relationship with Netflix

Just finished watching Episode One of Season One of The Politician and in spite of the darkness all over it, it made me feel better and smile, something I needed after the kind of day I have had today. So, what does it says about me? Dark comedies are kind of scandalizing to admit to being a fan of, isn’t it?

My phone’s battery died and I couldn’t go running without music, I couldn’t find time to waste on Instagram pretending to be cool and I definitely didn’t know who to call or how to call to share words, any words. In the end, Netflix came to the rescue.

You know, how we all move on in life thinking ‘we shall cross that bridge when it comes’ and today I saw the bridge waving at me from afar; I would be lying if I said I was surprised because behind every day’s pep talk lies the subtle subtitle ‘nothing is forever’, yet the mere view of what lies or might lie ahead brought an earthquake of 5.5 on Richter Scale leaving me disorientated and stumbling.

Falling in the arms of the comfy fictional show, I saw people broken, aching, dark, fractured, hopeless, forlorn and yet on top of their pretend-game and I found myself feeling okay and at ease. Pity, isn’t it? To find balm in the fabric of fiction because nothing or no one in the real-world has the power to offer the same.

Anyhow, here’s a fun fact I’ll be alright tomorrow giving myself the ‘You’re awesome, you’re beautiful and Billie Ellish would so want to be you.’ pep-talk.

Goodnight world and stay safe.

Being a Superhero glorifies the lying…!!!!

For the first time in my life I finished a book in 2 days. Lately, I have been reading a lot, spending more time on books than TV shows or movies. I do allow myself occasional visit to Modern Family or Grey’s Anatomy but I am mostly busy buried in a book.

There is no answer to why. Lately, I don’t have any answer to any why. I have started doings things that I need to. I have begun working on a story that I probably would never finish and even if I do, I won’t ever share it with anyone. Again no answer to the why.

I’m just glad I have Agnes Obel because sometimes Avril, Brandi and Gaga sound like a lie. Music can be weird. Agnes makes feel the reality like it should, like a skin; all over me. I’m not in denial, I’m just living as Hyde and Jekyll or as I prefer to call it Batman and Bruce Wayne syndrome. That sounds better considering the fact that it glorifies my pretenses. Works magically on my self esteem.

Sometimes I wish I was a pianist or a violinist. I don’t know why but I think it’s the warm and kind embrace behind an instrumental music that makes me wish I was good with musical instruments.

I finished Someone Named Eva, The Girl On the Train and Annie On My Mind. All 3 of them were really good. I have this weird wish to one day visit Auschwitz, don’t know why but a part of me wants to pay my respect there. I know sounds weird for it’s not a name someone, who hasn’t been anywhere outside her country, takes for a foreign trip. I do have NYC on my mind all the time, but I wish to see myself in one of the camp sites in Poland and in Amsterdam where Anne lived.

There is no purpose of this post, I’m just sitting alone in my room and its 3 in the morning the ghostly hour. I felt like talking. At first I almost picked my diary. I feel unsettled despite the fact that the day was good, I saw HOME movie and spent rest of my day on my sofa reading and reading and finishing the book.

Tomorrow I shall search for more books because I just have Code Verity left now and I’m afraid I’m going to be soon left with nothing to read. I do not wish to go back to the TV show addiction. They lie. Books lie too but you know it’s a book, with TV shows you tend to forget the faces are actors who are nothing like the characters they play.

Got to go now.

Goodnight world!

Falling out of the lies and into the love…!!!!

To her it was just another night

For her it was all part of her fight

She walked with grace

Hiding behind the veil and a pretentious face

Smiling elegantly she greeted around

To the luxury and power she was bound

But her heart cared less

To her it was a matter of lies and ignorance

In a crowd of liars far better than her

Of souls more ignorant that her

She looked for none & cared for none

And then her eyes fell upon

A face wearing innocence

Smile biggest of all

A soul who must have crawl

Inside from another world

A scene so ghastly for the residents

Of pride and prudence

The creature of happiness

Was clearly lost in to brightness

Of rich and royals

While dressed in simple and subtle

The uninvited guest was enjoying

The surprised and prying

Of one and all

She had forgotten where she stood

Lost her glory and hood

Taking steps towards the eyes

She was caught in by

She moved out of her own will

While the world stood still

Who are you? She heard herself whisper

Taking the hands of the stranger

She stepped out of the grip

Of the faces she wore

All she wanted was to strip

Out of the fake extravagance

Clinging to her tightly

Before this moment nothing made sense

She could feel hundred of eyes boring on her back

As she threw the veil

With every strength and lots of struggle

But the beautiful eyes staring at her

Were too magnetic for her to care

Of those she didn’t belong to

Her stare was fixed on the smile

Throwing away the shoes

She was ready to walk for miles

With someone who had a beating heart

Unlike those cold one who lived on wealth

She wanted more, so more

For the first time she swore

She felt like she was alive and awake

It didn’t matter what was on stake

She was no longer able to care

For those staring from left right & above

For she had fallen hard

Out of the lies and into the love…!!!!

broken bones…!!!!

Do tell

when they find

the broken

bones

of a girl so sad

who had

nothing to

hold on to

anymore

for

the air was too thin

the sky went grim

sun died

she cried & cried

searching for comfort

for it hurt

she hid

she ran

she fell,

do tell

for they would

want to  know

where went the glow

of her lies & masks

and pretenses

do tell

her defenses

were broken into

when hope died

& turned blue,

do tell

she fought well

she did

as she hid

behind faces

and smiles

too heavy to carry,

do tell

her story

when they find

her broken

bones….!!!!!!