like a paper boat stuck behind a rock in the river…

Sometimes i dream about people i dont even know. Someone i never met. I mean sometimes these dreams are so real, yet i have no idea who the people are im with. This morning i woke up to such a dream, it was a tragic and sad dream but it felt so real and thus scary.

Anyhow, i have had a very lazy weekend. I didnt do much, except having coffee, going for long drive by myself, finding me junk food, reading a little, watching lots of episodes all night long, sleeping all afternoon and for a change i did spend time walking, rope-skipping and running a little.

I think im going to be very sorry for saying i hate winters because im already hating the early summer. It was so hot all day but thing is right now its all rainy, windy and good outside. Im already dreading the months of May, June and July.

I’m taking forever to finish “The Book Thief” and my writer’s block is like a disease i cant get rid of…

Batman is ready for Gotham, for Batman had a Me-Day…!!!!

Well the not so good part about the day was the fact that my mother isn’t home today. Rest of it, all of it, was something i needed.

After a long time i had “Just me” day. I went for a haircut, took the longest route back home, got me a coffee en route and listened to beautiful songs while enjoying my lonely, but great drive day. Well i couldn’t buy a book, only regret.

It was a day that started with a blue mood because i was in charge of my house in absence of my mom. And the first thought that came to me was, i need to make breakfast for my dad, have to send my brother on time and make sure Snowy eats his food…and then i realised he isn’t here. I was concerned about him because he always used to act so grumpy and blue and “i wont eat, i want mommy’ in absence of my mother. But then it hit me. It was sad. Then i went for my long drive to city, got me a haircut and drove like crazy while singing out loud in my car.

So i can say i had a pretty okay Sunday. Even though i know not many people are going to like my haircut and im going to get a lot of “why do cut them so short?”, im pretty happy right now to worry about it.

I really needed a lazy day where im all by myself, just me. I better go now, its going to be a busy week, because i have to wrap up work before i head for the family wedding on Friday.

Goodnight world!

Loving yourself a little is the only way to survive the darkness inside.

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Painted so blue, wish i knew the reason too…!!!!

I want to watch a movie that I have already seen before, any movie would do but I have none because I lost all my movies when my laptop’s drive crashed. So here I am just wishing I had copied them in a pen drive for a day like today.

You know what’s my favorite place? My car. It’s the only place I feel better. Today I didn’t wanted to come home, no I wasn’t thinking of running away, I just wanted to drive around little more. The distance between my work place and my house is like 5 or 8 minutes. Driving was calming me down but I realized I was almost home, so I took a U-turn and decided to take a long cut. I drove back to one of my favorite shops near my office, bought me something to eat and came back home.

When I’m home I’m stressed and worried, when I’m at work I’m lost and bored; my car is the only place right now where I feel safe.

To be honest I have no idea why am on verge of crying, really have no idea or maybe I do. Even a tiny incident with ability to make me sad magnifies when my mind is all sleep deprived. Maybe that’s what it is. My inability to process things correctly because my mind is all sleep deprived.

One more day left before I can throw away my pretenses and sulk in my room.

If only I was just another regular 27 year old girl but I’m not. I’m freaking messed up, immature, crappy 27 year old who likes to dream with her eyes open because the one she sees when asleep only show her the reality of things.

I know what I need. I need to sleep. I need to stop killing my mind.

Before I leave: here is an amazing amazing performance by David Garrett. Man! He is good.