Dear Winters, just walk away now…

I am tired of winters now. Making me lazy and well am already born lazy, don’t need more help from a stupid weather. It was a horrible day in terms of body ache. My body was hurting all day, dont know why. So when i came home all tired, in pain and pissed i made me tea after dinner and danced on my bed with loud  music. For i was mad and i needed to feel good.

Where the hell is weekend? O wait its 3 days away…somebody give  me a hug or a day off from work would do too.

I want a Sunday on a Wednesday…i want it, i want it, i want!!!!!!!!!

Funny thing 5 people just got engaged in one month in Gotham and now most of these girls are eating my head asking me when im getting married. I wish was i had a t-shirt saying –

I’m already married.Chose not to call you & my husband is in jail. so shut it.

I hate the concept of “You’re next girl”…its like a favorite song of everyone who is either getting married or just got engaged. Super annoying.

Batman loves Christmas…!!!!

I hate winters but im loving December. Today I decorated one of my mum’s plant like a Christmas tree. I need more stuff to make it better and by tomorrow it will all ready.

I woke up super late to a very cold, cloudy and wintery day with no sign of sun. So I stayed home, made me coffee, played music, decorated my tiny tree, did nothing all day, stayed dirty and lazy, danced a little and danced some more…!!!

why should you vote for me?

So before i say anything, everybody raise your hands because i just read somewhere that Robert Pattison and Kristen Stewart are back. Maybe its a gossip, and not true, but i would like to believe its true and i would like to say Oh Snap and dance inside my head…

I am a dark person, totally twisted and most of the time my mind is a crazy place but i like to see world as a happy place. I have been in love with these two people since i first read and watched Twilight.

You see I’m like the worst kind of person you can have around but i do have some nice things about me.

Why should i be nominated as Super Hero of the year?

I believe in equality, if not me then who? Come on. If i could i would have voted for Obama but sorry dude Sir im kind of not eligible but yeah go Obama.

I love love love Dogs and if i could i would buy a huge mansion and own lots and lots of dogs because i cant stop loving them. Even though losing one has broken my heart into tiny little pieces that can never be fixed. No animal cruelty and violence in my secret world, where im the queen. Of course only few people live in that land, me and voices in my head.

I love everyone, im big on giving love. Don’t believe me? Ask all the fictional characters i spend days talking to and falling in love with. Yes, i do know i give less attention to real flesh and blood around me but hey giving love is giving love…right?

I believe in spreading music around. How? Take a drive with me and you will see how i put on loud music and sing along with my windows rolled up. Who does that? Offering free awesome music along with a karaoke session.  Man! I can make you cry with the pain in my voice when i sing along a sad song. For disclamer purposes the pain would be physical torture caused on your ear drums and not the emotional soothing heart wrenching melodious one, but hey Pain is Pain. No discrimination when it comes to music in my land.

I believe in diversity. Some days im Batman, some days Hulk and then i do like to play Spidey too. Don’t believe me? Come to my room. So much clothes and books and socks and shoes everywhere, you will be lost and stuck…where do you get lost and stuck? In a Spider’s web…see? did you get it? Im a Spidey too.

Am so awesome that even the word “Awesome” gets upset if not used for me. Im like Jack of all trades and Master of all Jacks.

I can be a Super Hero with talent to be all of them, sometimes at once. A night creature who stays up all night and sleeps at work while still managing to kill the deadline. I can write a story inside my head while staring at my work PC screen for 30 minutes. I can go in and out of a conversation around me without the others knowing it because i nod, unknowingly and amazingly i nod, even though I’m at some fun place inside my head. I can listen to one song all day and yet end up screaming singing its lyrics in car (while coming back) like i just heard it for the first time. I can buy books and not even read them and still buy more because i have no books to read. I can quote “You’ve Got Mail” in every situation because i think i have never been in love like im in love with Katheleen Kelly and because “I’m a Lone Reed”…see quoting. Did you get that, Lone Reed from the movie? No you didn’t? Go watch You’ve Got Mail. How can you  not watch that movie and not love it and not quote it?

I can waste time like no one else can by thinking of four random things that i need to do and crossing them one by one singing Eeny, meeny, miny, moe only to realize i just need to do one thing and i have no time now because its like 2 AM in morning. Lastly, I (and this is for real, like TRUE STORY real) can drink a cup of coffee and sleep right after that for hours without even feeling bad for wasting, the coffee and, time i spent making it with hope of waking up my dead brain.

Phew! Honestly i don’t have anything to say. I am a twisted soul with one good thing about me i don’t like to talk nice things about me. Kind of humble. So even if you do not want to vote for me, i would be so not okay okay I mean after all Im already So Awesome…

Superheroes

Guess which one is Little?

What do you think? Awesome? Or Awesome?

On journey from Denial to Acceptance, life serves you crazy cocktail called “Mixed emotions”…!!!!

Last night i had a karaoke night in my room, as i danced and sang to loud music from the speakers in my room. I used my television remote as my fake microphone while jumping up and down on my bed late at night.

My mom was worried i was going to break something in my room, my father was worried about neighbours complaining about loud music at that time of the night. But it was so much fun and rejuvenating.

I don’t know what triggered it but i had the best karaoke night because i danced like no one was watching, because no one was watching. I do this dance on my bed session alot but usually on a weekday.

What can i say, between Denial and Acceptance there is a long journey of mixed emotions and crazy moments.

I have been having a very busy time at Gotham and even though its killing me, im happy about it. You cant afford to think and go wailing because your mind is busy working. Nice deal. Even though bottling up emotions is a recipe for disaster it always works well for few good drama free days.

I should do more of this my-kind karaoke nights, at least i will get some kind of exercise while im trying to break my bed. No tv episodes isn’t that bad but im afraid with no internet, i might not be able to complete this year’s NaNoWriMo or worst take part in it. Lets see, even if i don’t i will start writing as soon as im back.

Got to go, busy day tomorrow plus i feel exhausted.
Goodnight world.

Sometimes i wish i was more expressive and less walled up. Sharing and expressing is a good thing and i wish i could do that. If only i wasn’t the mean angry Hulk anymore, who enjoys long drive, buying coffee, shopping for books and dancing to music…all alone. If only i wasn’t the “my own favorite person” kind of person.

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Little has a crush on young Robert De Niro, but she is still team Jodie Foster…!!!!

It was a very very busy and exhausting day at Gotham, infact this whole week has been tiring. And, unfortunately, there are still two more days to go before I get my weekend. I dont know if I can make it another two days.

I need a haircut, a weekend, a day in my room, an episode marathon, some writing, loud music, cup of nice coffee, book shopping…that’s it for now.

Truth is my list of things I need or want is pretty big, but I cant even make it as small as one word.

If I can get my dawn, I think I will be okay. But freedom comes with a cost and I dont think I can afford my independence.

On a brighter note, let me tell you something that you didnt know. I saw “Taxi Driver” and Its lot different from the kind of movies I see but Robert De Niro blew my mind. Im all team Jodie Foster. The woman is role model and a brilliant actress. Period. But when I saw Taxi Driver, my eyes were soley on Robert De Niro. Okay firstly his work was really nice and secondly he looks so bloody good looking. I have never seen any of his old movies, so I have never seen him young. Young De Niro can beat any guy today.

Yes the movie was little too dark but the work put in by Robert and Jodie is brilliant. Not my kind of cinema but good cinema. My kind of dark movies are Girl Interrupted and Suckerpunch.

Got to go now.

Goodnight world!

P.S tell me names of old movies that are worth watching. I have heard about Breakfast at Tiffanys is good.

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Hey Bruce Wayne, why dont you hang out with us at night…?

Saturday came and went away…almost. And I did not buy me a book, did not work on my story, did not do anything except sleeping, eating and listening to music.

I did went out with my brother (I call him Dexter, like the cartoon Dexter) and it was fun. We both do this thing, where we take the car, put on loud music and drive to places where we can find best junk food. Only problem is finding the right song for the drive, as we both have different kind of taste in music. He is more of rock, rap and loud dancing music guy and I am all about Florence and Machine, Angus and Julia, Fun, Brandi Carlile, Avril, EdSheeran, etc…

So I did nothing and was lazy all day long. In the evening when my brother said that we should go out, when he comes back from gym…i almost, almost, opened my mouth to ask him “if you are going to gym, should I walk Snowy out or will dad be going out with him?” and then It struck me. Luckily I didnt say it or else I would have not been able to hold back the tears.

On Friday I got in touch with a friend from school days and I found out how mad she was with me. Still is, for I stopped staying in touch. I vanished, in her words.
She said we had good time and how we were besties and then I stopped being me. I didnt reply or call much.

I apolgised and promised I would be in touch and that it happened unknowingly, as I had a phase, as I was dealing with personal stuff which is why am distant.

Truth is she isnt the only friend with complaints. But then I cant just say “hey gal, sorry m just not the fun person you knew. I dont talk to many people now, usually am pretending even infront of my family too. I stay awake till 2-3 for I like my company and the time I can spend alone. I just went through a xanax phase and was diagnosed with Panic Disorder. And I have been battling depression for quite long now. And I had nothing to talk about so I vanished for I am scared of being in a social situation. Freaks me out. Oh and one more thing I have a secret that I havnet told you about. Blah blah blah”

I dont think she would be expecting that and actually get all that when she said if you have issues talk to me, you dont have to vanish. I think she believes am having boy trouble. For she sounded like she wanted to help me find a guy for me.

I know she wont get me because im not the best friend she knew in school. But I did had great time back then and I would want us to be friends, so I apologised and promised I will try to not vanish again.

Its 3:14 am and im hungry. Feel like making instant noodle thing. But It would wake everyone. I better watch Pll and sleep.

Hope tomorrow would be productive in terms of writing. Goodnight world!

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