Its monsoon outside and inside…!!!

You know what I love…sound of rain. Yes, I love sound of rain, the smell of it in the air and the feel of it as it falls all over the place.

I have been trying to stay away from blogging for few days for simple reason, because my mind is not working. Nothing is working. I can’t read, can’t write or do anything. I’m lost. I’m in monsoon phase, not the real one but the phase where im a cry-baby; all i do is burst into tears anytime of the day, any place. Awkward, when it happens at Gotham because man I have people around and too many trips to washroom would only mean I have had the worst breakfast. I m not trying to be funny, I can’t be funny though I feel lot better right now. Probably it’s the rain outside.

Today, I gave the silliest quote to a friend “Hope is a soap my friend and I am running out of it”. And my friend said I can buy you another one and I ended up laughing.

I am dying for a day off like a day when I can lock myself in my room, stay dirty, not brush, eat instant noodles, drink coffee and attach my phone with the speakers in my room at loud volume. Yeah! I want that.

I’m out of energy and it takes everything to get up and drive to work. I’m mad at a friend for she has moved to another country.

I found another friend this week, she has been a great help. Everyone say hello to Sara Bareilles:

I have to go now because if I didn’t sleep on time today, I don’t think I would be able to survive my Friday. Super sleep deprived, running out of positivity, blue and cry baby – pretty much what I’m lately. I got to go, you guys enjoy the song.

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A whole day without a song, no doubt am feeling dizzy…!!!!!

I once went up to a family, having lunch in a restaurant, and asked them if the car parked outside with a dog in it is theirs, when they said yes i asked them to roll down the windows a little bit so poor dog can breath. Yes i did that. It was long time ago and though i was pretty sure they might go all crazy about minding my own business, i still went straight to them.

I once scolded a kid who throwing stones on a dog, even though his grandfather was nearby and i knew he would yell and run to him which he did.

I don’t know why am telling all this, but truth is i don’t like people who are mean to dogs.

Okay so it was a very very very tiring and exhausting day, i hardly got time for thinking and worst i didn’t listen to even a single song till 745 in evening. From 10 to 745 i was working and working. Almost died by the time i got out of Gotham. First thing that i did was get into my car and play Demi Lovato on loud volume, it hit me like a drug and i felt alive. I said no to temptation of junk food and coffee and came home to do a 15 minutes of rope skipping.

Every single bone in my body is begging to sleep and maybe i will. A Brazilian intern had come for a day and i worked with her all day long, only break i took was a 30 minutes of KFC lunch trip.

Man! i feel weird right now. Exhausted and drained out.

Will be back tomorrow.

Goodnight world!

P.S Dont tell anyone a busy day doesn’t scares me its the slow boring day, when i have all the time in the world to indulge in self pity.

 

 

am ignoring words…!!!!

A part of me is avoiding writing…any kind of it …story or blogging. afraid of opening up and falling to pieces. Bottom line im busy holding myself with a powerful but short lived glue called “everything is okay”…!!!!

I wish to complete Dominique, let people read and not care about it. But im lying i care. There is a reason why i stay awake at night doing nothing but watching random episodes, googling, youtubing (if that’s a word), having midnight snacks and worrying about getting up in the morning. Because im buying time for myself, time to sulk, time to think, time to be a crazy depressed girl who tells people she is awesome, time to breathe for a while without pretending.

If you like Florence and the machine…put on your headphones, close your eyes and listen to this one at loud volume....

 

 

 

 

Little loving laziness…!!!!!

Imagine a girl who gets up at 130 pm, runs her hands through her short messy hair, washes her face and puts on her purple jeans, pink t-shirt and pink slippers, takes her car keys, puts Lady Gaga at loud volume in her stereo and drives to McDonalds to get her breakfast at 4 pm in the afternoon.

Yep that’s me when I’m not being the grown up 26 year old Team Lead Content Writing giving orders to my team.  So last night I worked on Dominique a little and I have one tiny issue. My story is being told by the first person, Dominique. Now i wonder if i should go for the second person story telling thing. I think i will have to finish the story, read it and then decide. Or maybe i can finish a scene, proof read it and publish it here, so i can ask for reviews. Hmm, i think maybe.

You know i have never had black coffee, but thanks to this Spanish intern i love black coffee now. This reminds me, i don’t have coffee at home. But I’m not going again, because i haven’t taken shower and i don’t plan to. I am going to give myself 3 days to finish my current novel, 3 days if i write Dominique alongside, but if not then i plan to finish this book by tomorrow. And I’m not joking here.

As i was standing in line waiting for my turn to go say “Hi i have money to waste and a whole day to sulk, give me a burger” i saw a girl with a foot disability. I was like “Shit Little, you are all fine and healthy and yet all you do is scream at the top of your lung about being sad”. Being me is difficult because I’m aware of the fact that my problems are not the biggest and most horrible one, that there are people with so much of real suffering and fight, yet i crib. But truth is my injury is small very small still it does hurt. Maybe i could have been stronger about things if i had the power to talk about it to someone, anyone.

I better go as i have a self given challenge waiting for me, have a book to finish.

Oh by the way, have you ever tried too jump and dance on your bed while brushing your teeth at the same time? In case you plan to do such stunt, i would suggest following song:

That’s me today

That’s again me only i had a brush in my mouth

That’s what im talking about, only i was dancing and jumping on the bed

 

Ofcourse, i can sing…Ask my car…!!

Sometimes I wish I was a singer instead of a writer, because I love music and when I hear someone sing I wonder how peaceful it must be. I know writing is peaceful too, I mean I smile all day long when I write Dominique, but singing fascinates me. I think I can easily fall in love with someone who sings. I don’t know, maybe I’m just crazy.

Voices: you will fall in love with what?

Me: lalalalalalalalalalala

Voices (Laughing): sorry but it was a funny line

Me: lalalalalalalalalala. I can’t hear you lalalalalalalala

Voices: Still laughing

Yeah! True I actually did laugh on my own line so I can’t blame the voices. Anyhow, my point is that I like the words and music put together and often wonder how a singer feels after signing a good song. Does he or she likes to listen to her/his own song in the car while driving to the mall? I mean I love my write-ups and often read them again after a day or two to tell myself “Little you are demented, but you are good”.

Does Katy Perry feel motivated after listening to her own song “Part of me” or “Fireworks”? What song of her does Adele listens to when she is sad?

My obsessions with songs make me ask crazy questions, but what can I do remember I’m a self declared twisted 26 year old.

Today a funny thing happened; in fact it has happened so many times. The day was almost over and most of my team had gone home and I was finally back, at my seat. So I put on my headphones and with Born This Way playing at a loud volume I get busy in work. I then start searching for another song in my phone and I’m so lost in my phone that I fail to realize my boss is standing in front of me, on the other side of screen trying to talk to me…Oops! I take off my headphones, stand up and start talking to him. While he is telling something about shifting the Quality Check team, I can (so can he) hear some of Lady Gaga’s words spilling out of my headphones. Twice i tried to reach my phone to turn down the volume, when he turned to talk to the other guy standing with us, but I couldn’t. All I can say, am lucky he likes my work and in my defense “that was my first song of the day, a little volume is justified”.

Maybe the best part of my day is when am driving because i put on the music at a good volume and sing alongside. While some people are bathroom singers I would like to call myself as a car singer.

P.S this song here has nothing to with my mood today but i wanted to show you how Dominique looks like. She is a mix of Natalie in this video and a little bit Winona Ryder of Reality Bites-cum-Girl Interrupted. Okay! now I’m confused. 😛