One day we shall meet.
I would like to believe its written in the sky among the stars.
Till then, I shall keep you in my heart as a beautiful lover I’m yet to cross paths with.
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But I wonder what would happen if you
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
– Sara Bareilles
If i a have choice to be born as someone else, i would probably not take it because i have had a good life so far and the people i have in my life are my life. But, some days i do wonder what if i had choice to not be me.
Lying all day all night, pretending and faking has made me a bitter and mean person which kind of hurts people and me too. I realise how i have become the bad guy among people in my life, directly and indirectly. Either they don’t know this maybe or they are just not sure how to fix it. I wasn’t this bad-ass mean person; i was once a girl who was nicer. Before i became the misfit, before i found out why i always was different, before i found how i can never be a part of sunshine world, before i realized how i am two different person in one body – one is what im and one is for what people want to see. Before all this, i was quite a nice little girl with not a single bone of meanness inside her.
Since im kind of cranky right now, i think i shouldn’t write much so im going to leave two songs i discovered and cant stop listening to. The one by Lesley Roy is probably written for me. I think even if i delete everything and just upload this one song, you would get my state of mind cause the lyrics are just i want to say.
This second one is probably way better than the original one. I think this guy has sung better than Bob Dylan and Adele. I cant stop listening to this one even though i am all Hulk right now. Right now, i feel like Kathleen Kelly from that scene where she closes her shop, walks home and sits alone in a corner with a soup bowl wondering where to go from there, feeling all lost and beaten by universe.
So before i say anything, everybody raise your hands because i just read somewhere that Robert Pattison and Kristen Stewart are back. Maybe its a gossip, and not true, but i would like to believe its true and i would like to say Oh Snap and dance inside my head…
I am a dark person, totally twisted and most of the time my mind is a crazy place but i like to see world as a happy place. I have been in love with these two people since i first read and watched Twilight.
You see I’m like the worst kind of person you can have around but i do have some nice things about me.
Why should i be nominated as Super Hero of the year?
I believe in equality, if not me then who? Come on. If i could i would have voted for Obama but sorry
dude Sir im kind of not eligible but yeah go Obama.
I love love love Dogs and if i could i would buy a huge mansion and own lots and lots of dogs because i cant stop loving them. Even though losing one has broken my heart into tiny little pieces that can never be fixed. No animal cruelty and violence in my secret world, where im the queen. Of course only few people live in that land, me and voices in my head.
I love everyone, im big on giving love. Don’t believe me? Ask all the fictional characters i spend days talking to and falling in love with. Yes, i do know i give less attention to real flesh and blood around me but hey giving love is giving love…right?
I believe in spreading music around. How? Take a drive with me and you will see how i put on loud music and sing along with my windows rolled up. Who does that? Offering free awesome music along with a karaoke session. Man! I can make you cry with the pain in my voice when i sing along a sad song. For disclamer purposes the pain would be physical torture caused on your ear drums and not the emotional soothing heart wrenching melodious one, but hey Pain is Pain. No discrimination when it comes to music in my land.
I believe in diversity. Some days im Batman, some days Hulk and then i do like to play Spidey too. Don’t believe me? Come to my room. So much clothes and books and socks and shoes everywhere, you will be lost and stuck…where do you get lost and stuck? In a Spider’s web…see? did you get it? Im a Spidey too.
Am so awesome that even the word “Awesome” gets upset if not used for me. Im like Jack of all trades and Master of all Jacks.
I can be a Super Hero with talent to be all of them, sometimes at once. A night creature who stays up all night and sleeps at work while still managing to kill the deadline. I can write a story inside my head while staring at my work PC screen for 30 minutes. I can go in and out of a conversation around me without the others knowing it because i nod, unknowingly and amazingly i nod, even though I’m at some fun place inside my head. I can listen to one song all day and yet end up
screaming singing its lyrics in car (while coming back) like i just heard it for the first time. I can buy books and not even read them and still buy more because i have no books to read. I can quote “You’ve Got Mail” in every situation because i think i have never been in love like im in love with Katheleen Kelly and because “I’m a Lone Reed”…see quoting. Did you get that, Lone Reed from the movie? No you didn’t? Go watch You’ve Got Mail. How can you not watch that movie and not love it and not quote it?
I can waste time like no one else can by thinking of four random things that i need to do and crossing them one by one singing Eeny, meeny, miny, moe only to realize i just need to do one thing and i have no time now because its like 2 AM in morning. Lastly, I (and this is for real, like TRUE STORY real) can drink a cup of coffee and sleep right after that for hours without even feeling bad for wasting, the coffee and, time i spent making it with hope of waking up my dead brain.
Phew! Honestly i don’t have anything to say. I am a twisted soul with one good thing about me i don’t like to talk nice things about me. Kind of humble. So even if you do not want to vote for me, i would be
so not okay okay I mean after all Im already So Awesome…
What do you think? Awesome? Or Awesome?
Past few weeks haven’t been easy on me and its now exact one month since Snowy left me which has totally broken me; only i know what his absence means because no one knows how i have been having dreams of him coming back. Woke up to one this morning, felt so real and crazy part it was like an inception kinda dream where i was dreaming withing the dream. Told you my mind has ability to watch all kinds of dreams, this is not the first time.
Okay! so i have missed on many blogs and then there are few award thank yous pending too which i will acknowledge today.
Thank you my friend Tazeinmirzasaad for not one but two award nominations. How cool is that?
Yes! both of these amazing award nominations for me. 🙂 Thankyou Tazein you have always been kind and inspiring.
Now im suppose to tell 7 things about me nominate 15 people…for my first award nomination. And tell 10 some awesome things while nominating 10 people for my next award. This is kind of tricky but i will try.
17 Facts –
1. I am writing two stories and wish to make movie on one.
2. I love anything with checks..my favorite pattern.
3. I hate to lose in chess but i have lost purposely twice.
4. I cant stand a crowded place, any crowded place.
5. I love books more than their movie versions.
6. I want my mom to try the omelet i make but she is vegetarian.
7. I am scared of sitting behind a two wheeler.
8. When i was in school, i had this habit of playing Britney Spears songs again and again using rewind and forward on my walkman, so i could write down exact lyrics.
9. I used to love making mix tapes when there was no internet, mp3 players and youtube.
10. I love looking at old pictures and reading old diary pages.
11. I love to buy plain black tshirts.
12. If i could, i would buy a pair of canvas in every color.
13. I sometimes like to close my eyes and picture a story in my head.
14. I am very curious when it comes to UFO and aliens and life on other planets.
15. I love to travel by bus and trains more than planes.
16. I like to keep the left side of my bed empty at night, because i like to tell myself Snowy would hate to see his corner of the bed ruffled.
17. If i could i would love to relive following years of my life 2001-2002, 2004- 2005, 2007-2010.
So now i would like to nominate all of you, everyone. Yay!